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  1. #1
    12 and a half weeks BerberElla's Avatar
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    Default Extroverts does this happen to you?

    I still honestly can't make up my mind whether I really am an extrovert because of this, but I do get physically exhausted if I socialise too much.

    For example last week my friend came to my house for my birthday on tuesday, and didn't leave until the following monday (this monday), with her 4 kids, so that's now me, my 3 kids, her, her 4 kids and my brother all in my house for that many days.

    I was desperate for time alone, by the time she left on monday I didn't even want to answer the phone to anyone. I have been physically exhausted and withdrawn since then, and if it wasn't for the fact that I know she is very lonely, I wouldn't be heading back to hers from this friday for another 9 days because she tells me she is really low and doesn't want to be alone.

    This is taxing me so badly, I really need some down time, I have been unable to function properly since she left. I feel brain dead, I feel like I need to recharge, something that introverts need to do right?

    If you asked me how I would cope on a deserted island, part of me is crazy drawn to that hermit lifestyle and I know I would be fine with it (as long as I had internet connection haha).

    Even if we removed all the kids from the equation, at a weeks company I would feel maxed out and would need to be alone or else I get snappy, rude, abrupt, basically everything I usually am not.

    Again something I read happens to introverts.

    So do other ENxP types suffer from this need to shut the world out after too much socialising?
    Echo - "So are you trying to say she is Evil"

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  2. #2
    Senior Member Gerbah's Avatar
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    I'm an ISTJ but my husband is ENTP and he is actually not that social although an extravert. When he hasn't got something to do he will often phone someone but when it comes to face-to-face contact he would much rather spend his time with me and our daughter. The effort you have to put into inviting people over and entertaining them is tiring and troublesome for him. In fact, he could be perfectly happy living on a remote tropical island where he could live simply and comfortably with just me for company. That would drive me nuts! I would need contact with civilisation! But I'm introverted.

  3. #3
    12 and a half weeks BerberElla's Avatar
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    It's tiring me, believe it. I'm torn between my need to be a good friend to someone who is hurting, and my need to be alone for a few weeks, and the former outweighs the latter.

    We live in different parts of England too, so it involves crashing at each others houses, which means I don't even have the "bedtime downtime" that usually works well enough lol.
    Echo - "So are you trying to say she is Evil"

    DeWitt - "Something far worse, she's an Idealist"

    Berb's Johari Berb's Nohari

  4. #4
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Know the feeling, cannot help you determine though...
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  5. #5
    Senior Member Gerbah's Avatar
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    If you are just too tired right now I would just be honest about it to your friend. If she's your friend, she'll respect that. You could just talk on the phone if it will help her. But it sounds like you've made the commitment to the plans to go to her place already. Maybe make it clear that after this, this is all you can spare of your energy for the time being.

  6. #6
    Senior Member alcea rosea's Avatar
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    To the original question.

    I'm not tired after lots of socialicing but I'm tired after having lots of people around in our house. It's because the fussing around when quests makes me tired. I mean all that household acitivities of cleaning up, making dinners, lunches, offering this and that, trying to keep everybody happy.

    If I'm visiting somebody elses house with lots of people, I don't get tired at all.

    So for me, visitors cause tiredness because it involves so much activities I have to do not because I would be tired of people and conversations.

  7. #7
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
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    Yes, this happens to me. In fact, I hardly socialize at all because I work so much. And if I work too much without a break in sight, I get grumpy or irritable, or at worst physically ill. Everyone needs their down time.

    However, no one would claim I'm an introvert.
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  8. #8
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
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    Any mother of 3 kids who has 4 kids over and a friend is going to get tired out. It's really not introvert/extrovert. Of course I'm ENFP, too. But yes, totally and entirely normal.

    I think you also need to take time to decide if you need to put another 9 days into this. You don't need to kill yourself to try to keep someone else even. You are taking too much of yourself for this. You have a responsibilty to your kids to stay even, not to sacrifice yourself for someone else. You are going to have issues staying even if you wear yourself out so much. [/end lecture]

  9. #9
    movin melodies kiddykat's Avatar
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    ^I agree. Hats off to you.. I mean, having kids alone can be tiresome, can't it? Mommy is a huge role to play 24/7, and on top of that, to have company over for that period of time? Anyone would feel drained out..

    Sounds like you need a break, and that is totally fine!

  10. #10
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    Yeah, it's not the socializing that is tiring, it is the *hosting*. I love events and parties and I even enjoy throwing them or having a role in them, but you just can't enjoy them the same way. You're too busy antipcating and minding things and people. Your mind as well as your body is "all hands on deck". I also have no problem having close friends over my house and not doing anything in particular (just hanging out) and even offering food and drink and activities but if it were someone I did not know as well it would be more stressful because I would be more mindful and not be able to relax as much.
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

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