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  1. #11
    Rainy Day Woman MDP2525's Avatar
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    I have some history with ENFJ's. Dated one for two years. (Roller coaster craziness. He wasn't a good person) and one of my best friends is one. I also have an acquaintance that is an ENFJ (male) and he is absolutely in love with my ENFP friend. He's so smitten. It's sort of sad because ENFP has told him that they're just friends, although I suspect that ENFP is still "involved" with him. Something I don't agree with but it's not my business. Yet, his loyalty to her is almost...I don't know...I kind of want to slap him sometimes! Like, "wake up!" He's got tunnel-vision and will not even entertain the thought of being or dating someone else. It's like he's addicted.
    ~luck favors the ready~


    Shameless Self-Promotion:MDP2525's Den and the Start of Motorcycle Maintenance

  2. #12
    Senior Member nynesneg's Avatar
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    Question for ENFJs or ENFPs.

    Do you feel that your natural idealistic views on life affect your relationships?

    Do you subconsciously expect people to fit your perfect idea?
    Or keep searching either leaving relationships or remaining single until you find exactly what you desire?

  3. #13
    Senior Member Drezoryx's Avatar
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    yes idealism suks if ur not aware of where to use it and where to admire it from a distance
    Type 8 sx/sp/so
    O:C:E:A:N :: 65:69:59:57:9

  4. #14
    Member MmmCrazy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nynesneg View Post
    Question for ENFJs or ENFPs.

    Do you feel that your natural idealistic views on life affect your relationships?

    Do you subconsciously expect people to fit your perfect idea?
    Or keep searching either leaving relationships or remaining single until you find exactly what you desire?
    I float between these. In my last relationship I wanted the guy to fit to my ideal, then I realized maybe I just love him for who he is, now I'm in the "gotta keep searching to find the right one" mode. But I think the "gotta keep searching" emotion is the most prevalent one.

    It's frustrating, though. How are you supposed to "find your ideal" when most of love is dealing with the other person's differences?

  5. #15
    Senior Member TopherRed's Avatar
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    :learns attentively: Yes? Go on?
    Love is the point.

  6. #16
    Member MmmCrazy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fuzzcrossed View Post
    :learns attentively: Yes? Go on?
    What, dealing with other's differences? Well, at least, that's what I've heard. I mean, even if you do find your ideal mate they're still bound to do silly things like do the dishes "the wrong way" or never take out the trash, and you just have to learn to live with them, and they have to learn to live with YOUR idiosyncrasies.

    Which, if that's the case, does anyone have a PERFECT partner? Maybe it doesn't exist...

  7. #17
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MmmCrazy View Post
    What, dealing with other's differences? Well, at least, that's what I've heard. I mean, even if you do find your ideal mate they're still bound to do silly things like do the dishes "the wrong way" or never take out the trash, and you just have to learn to live with them, and they have to learn to live with YOUR idiosyncrasies.

    Which, if that's the case, does anyone have a PERFECT partner? Maybe it doesn't exist...


    My mom told me to find a man whose flaws annoy me the least, because they all will annoy you
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  8. #18
    Member MmmCrazy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post


    My mom told me to find a man whose flaws annoy me the least, because they all will annoy you
    ): This is depressing.

  9. #19
    Senior Member nynesneg's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MmmCrazy View Post
    ): This is depressing.
    Don't worry, I'm sure you'll fall in love with them first. I have yet to experience this incredible thing...

    You notice the annoying things about people after living with them for awhile. Ie, leaving clothes all over, beer bottles in the bedroom, not being ___ or __ trait which you are, etc

  10. #20
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    I have to say this -- the older you get, the less bugged out by things you get. I was where you were many years ago, and despaired of ever being happy with myself or anyone else, but as I've gotten some time under my belt, I find that things automatically irritate me less and I'm way less likely to be bothered by idealistic thinking in areas where it only made my life hard. I was never comfortable with people getting near me because I felt like I had to be perfect and be that way all the time (an impossible task for even a MINUTE). Now I'm like "Get bent" and laugh.

    I was talking to an ENTP friend last night. We're both over 30 (I'm 32, he's 33) and we were both remarking how much we don't give a darn about certain things anymore and what a relief it was. We're both pretty idealistic (still), but in a much more applicable manner. The N loopiness is there, yet it doesn't assert itself all out of control as much as it used to. Becoming a dad was a big help to him. For me, illness and dealing with a lot of crises that knocked me out of my tree with some frequency.

    You'll be pleasantly surprised how much more selective you can be about idealism when you hit 30. It's something to look forward to. Also it helps to be around people with reasonable expectations. You won't feel so compelled to take things apart.
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