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Thread: Ideal friend for an INFJ

  1. #41
    Senior Member Array the state i am in's Avatar
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    Feb 2009
    5w4 sx/sp


    pretty much the same as relationships. depending on enneagram types, personal needs, overall imbalances, subjective experiences, other relationships, etc.

    N dom first and foremost. 4w3 is fun for me as a 5w4, aesthetically i dig it. other 5w4s, 7w6s, and 4w5s all play a huge role in my own self-understanding.

    inps too. infp 4w5 is one of my favorite artistic types (4w5 is the best type at self-understanding and contemplating the widest range of internal complexity). 4w3s have fucking artistic flare, their styles seem so effortless bc of that 3 image-control/impression-management (a la whitman, proust, wilde, etc). 9w1 infps offer the greatest form of love (my most common type). i have learned how to show them i recognize the gifts they bring to others as teachers and as healers. intps are great when they're stoned, flexible, and capable of some Ne movement. otherwise they get as fixated and judgy as any unhealthy ip dom Ji. which gets exhausting. 5w6 offers sooooo much knowledge and 5w4 has the same interest in composition that i do. 6s are loyal and trusted friends which matters in some cases more than anything else.

    enjs somewhere down the line. i probably get along with istjs more easily, i know how to use their strengths and how to help get them re-focused or relaxed when they need it. enjs i don't have as much experience with so i don't see how to make it work as well. plus e2 and e1 are generally less overlapping with my interests. the worst types for me are 3w2, 3w4, 8w7, 8w9. when i am healthy i can learn from 3w4 which is my arch nemesis. 7w8 and 9w8 and i sometimes butt heads.

    after that probably istjs, whose methods for problem-solving and resolve i totally respect. plus subjective experiences, family members, etc.

  2. #42
    Aspiring Troens Ridder Array KLessard's Avatar
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    Apr 2008


    Quote Originally Posted by Grace View Post
    There are a lot of theories on romantic matches between types (INFJ goes well with ENTP and ENFP, etc.), but as far as I know, there aren't that many theories on what goes well together in friendships. As far as friends go, it seems like a lot of people just say that you can be friends with anyone and blah blah. Well, lets say you HAD to generalize to specific types being friends. I want some theories on what types are best with other types for friends, specifically INFJs since that is what I am.
    I have always had a good amount of close friends, and while I love them and have fun with them, I don't feel a really deep soul matey type bond with any of them. The closest I have come to that would probably be my ISFP friend, but even with her I don't feel like we completely understand one another.
    INFJs, do you have a specific friend who you feel like you have a really deep bond with? Do you think your types play into that bond, and if so, how?
    I had three best friends growing up (three females). One is ISFJ, we've known each other since birth (we were neighbours and our mothers were pregnant at the same time), the second is INTJ (we met at three years of age), the third an XSFP (we met around nine). They called us the four musketeers, so it shows you how close we were.

    There has been rain and shine, and the only one who stuck with me all the way is the INTJ. She was a bit bossy and all as a child, but she changed growing up and is a very pleasant young woman now. She is faithful to her friends to the core, and has never let me down. I was feeling crushed the other day and wrote a note about it on facebook. She was practically the first person to reply and say "Do you need anything? Call me." We connect pretty well about most things. Even if we've lived far away from each other for years now, we never lost touch and I know we still love each other very deeply whether we can see each other's faces or not. I know this is harder for sensitive types who connect with the physical world. This INTJ and I mean something to each other inside and nothing has ever been able to destroy that so far (23 years of friendship).

    I also have an ENFP friend (met recently) and she won't stop talking about integrity and loyalty in friendships and seems to care about this to the core and is so fearful of friendships being broken. She says to me "I love you" all the time, so... (Man, sometimes her E sucks the life out of me, but for integrity in friendship, you might want to look into the ENFP if your I is not too easily drained).

    The INFPs I've known were also excellent friends; the connection is so easy, it feels like a comfy couch. No misunderstanding whatsoever except some annoying procrastination on the P level. But there is no challenge there, so it's more like a sister friendship or something.

    But let me tell you something, Grace (what an appropriate name), INFJs need to be gracious. There is no such thing as an ideal friend, we all are sinners, and understanding this is the first step to a healthy friendship. I know what you're looking for, but you'll never quite find it unless you deal with this matter with grace.
    Last edited by KLessard; 10-26-2009 at 11:43 AM.

  3. #43
    half-nut member Array briochick's Avatar
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    Dec 2008
    ;) sx


    I think INFJs make best friends with INFPs. ^_^

    "I have never in my life envied a human being who led an easy life; I have envied a great many people who led difficult lives and led them well."
    -Teddy Roosevelt

  4. #44
    Senior Member Array Scarfism's Avatar
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    May 2009


    Quote Originally Posted by Lightyear View Post
    Awww thank you!

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