[ENFP] ENFP's on taking care of themselves

[ergophobe]

I know this is very un-ENFPish of me to say, but if you only have one year left finish school, you should definitely do it. It would be a huge mistake not to.. FOLLOW THROUGH! You are still young and as an ENFP you will likely change your mind about what you want to do as a career multiple times over the course of your 20's and maybe your lifetime.



Lastly, Berkley has an amazing reputation. Your career options will be wide regardless of your major because of the caliber of the school. After graduation, if you still want to be a dance teacher then pursue it! Right AFTER you graduate is the perfect time to experiment with careers paths. You have a fall back degree but not a career you have been throwing time into for years so you can do whatever you want. Just please graduate from Berkley. You'd could really be hurting yourself in the long run if you didn't.

^I second. Finish college, getting the classes you need in your already declared major. If you already have classes for your major, get some classes toward a minor of your choice, including dance or even just a class or two that could be used as an elective. Once you're done with college, take some time off to think about a career. Travel/take dance classes/teach dance - whatever you like to think about what comes next. Don't stop now and jeopardize a degree you almost have. As Cze Cze says, many of us are not defined by what we we do to pay the bills. You can do more than one thing. Take the time to figure out how. Either way, your bachelors degree will only help. Good luck!

 

[Nonsensical]

Clearly you're not an Enneagram type 4.

 

[sunshinEnfp]

^I second. Finish college, getting the classes you need in your already declared major. If you already have classes for your major, get some classes toward a minor of your choice, including dance or even just a class or two that could be used as an elective. Once you're done with college, take some time off to think about a career. Travel/take dance classes/teach dance - whatever you like to think about what comes next. Don't stop now and jeopardize a degree you almost have. As Cze Cze says, many of us are not defined by what we we do to pay the bills. You can do more than one thing. Take the time to figure out how. Either way, your bachelors degree will only help. Good luck!

I third this. Finish school, but be looking and thinking about what you really want to do for after. You can start pursuing those things WHILE in school, but being an ENFP, I know you feel really impulsive and want to just LEAVE NOW and follow this NEW choice because IT SEEMS SO RIGHT... but, you may regret (aka you will, 99% sure) not getting a degree. Maybe not now, but in a few years. Plus, a BA is standard for almost ANY job now. It's like the MINIMUM requirement.

Don't look at it as restricting you right now, but just giving you that much MORE options in the future... you can do and be anything and having a BA will help you, no matter what you do!

 

[Amargith]

Clearly you're not an Enneagram type 4.

I am, and I agree with all of those that say 'finish your school' and compensate for now in other ways. There's always a way to put a spin on things so they are authentic to us and they are tolerable to finish. Not easy, costs time and effort, makes us sulk, but it is very much possible. I did the same and am glad I did.

 

[JustHer]

I feel like your problem might come from Fi/Te being so close together.

On the one hand you know what you don't want to do and what doesn't feels right to you, but on the other you can't ignore the feeling that not doing it may be unrealistic and not practical.

I don't think you should lay all the blame on your parents, as I am sure your Te is telling you they make a lot of sense, almost as much as your Fi is telling you it isn't the right way to consider your future.

Dropping out of school will probably not help you in any way, especially this late in the game! Why not just finish and focus on finding a way to integrate your degree into something you enjoy more?

My Fi dom friends seem to think there will be some magical career that is perfect and designed exactly FOR them, and then they waste years trying various majors and jobs looking for it. I don't think that really works out very well for anyone.

 

[JustHer]

Oh and I can also very much relate - I dgreatly dislike most of what I have to learn, I don't get to choose a SINGLE course in my program, I go to school with largely antisocial people where the majority actually doesn't speak english, and there are so many things I'd rather be doing now that I can't do that I feel that I am wasting my life away.

But really, I know that giving up now and going a different path would not help me be where I want to be in the long run (personally and professionaly). It's like - in the process of trying to reach what you think will make you happy, you end up doing a whole lot that makes you really unhappy. And you often only realize this after you've done them all.

 

[BlackCat]

This seems to have more to do with being a self preservation instinct last in the enneagram than being an ENFP.

 

[cfs1992]

...

 

[Vamp]

It's weird to find that this is a common ENFP thing cause I've never done what I've wanted, I mainly do things to please my mother which means I am so numb and emo right now[/emoooooooooooooo cry]

^^^ Yeah, what they said. It's an easier lesson to learn now than later.

Example: My family always said, "WHaaaaaaat you want to learn German and languages? What do you want to DO with that?!?!!?"

Of course, they wanted me to study something 'useful' like accounting. So what did I do? A compromise. I studied Political Science, which basically allows you to study ANYTHING in post-grad.

Had I listened to my inner voice, I'd be having an easier go with my life right now, though. They accept American teachers at a drop of a hat if they have studied history (what I also considered but dropped because my family was all like arghghghghg), foreign languages (what I wanted to learn anyway), among other things.

If you have a strong voice telling you to do something, there's a reason, and you should listen. And if your family acts like cat shit about it, tell them, "Look, perhaps you do not understand, but this is very important for me. If I do not succeed, I'm fully cognizant of the consequences and I am willing to take that risk."

I mean, hey, who can argue with that???

I like the things you say.

The thing is, I am no ready to accept the consequences of doing what I want/need. ....yet. So, I take the safe route and do what people tell me. Much to the detriment of my sanity. I dropped out with 2 courses left! And I can't go back. Eh, water under the bridge. I was only in school so they'd all get off my back in the first place.

I relate to everything you said man. I'm 23 and dropped out of college last summer for the same exact reasons. Was in a major that would ensure me a well paid job and career in part because I felt I owed it to my parents in a sense. But college experience was completely the opposite of what I expected. Uninteresting people, uninteresting experiences, zero motivation to study for subjects which I was not naturally fond of (or good at, and subjects which required a great deal of discipline).

MBTI helped me as a part of my "soul-searching" trip if you will. I now know myself a lot better and what makes me tick and what doesn't. I discovered the ENVIRONMENT where I'm performing the tasks is VERY important in terms of motivation and overall satisfaction regardless of whether the task is something I'm naturally good at or something I enjoy at all.

If you are lucky enough to know what you are good at and/or what you enjoy doing waste no more time, man, and go look for that.


Still, you might not realize this now, but there will come a point where you will be able to put all those experiences into perspective. When one is down all can seem doom and gloom and worthless specially for ENFPs. But the truth is we are somewhat extreme idealists...other people could often be in the same situation you are and find contentment in that...but we just weren't wired for certain things.

Wow, thanks for that. That's so close to my experience and why I joined this forum. I don't understand how my friends and former classmates can be happy and able to function living, what seems to me, a dull, unfulfilled existence doing something not for their own life experiences (or even that they remotely enjoy) but because it's what their parents told them to. For me, work-school-bed-work-school-bed put me in the worst depression of my life that gets worse when I see many other people doing just fine with it (makes me think there's something wrong with me and no help/solutions exist).

 

[Pixelholic]

It took me a long time to start doing things for myself. It's hard because it's a selfish thing and being selfish is a bad bad terrible evil rotten thing to be but depriving yourself of happiness for other people isn't any better.

 

[cfs1992]

It took me a long time to start doing things for myself. It's hard because it's a selfish thing and being selfish is a bad bad terrible evil rotten thing to be but depriving yourself of happiness for other people isn't any better.

So true...