[ENFP] ENFP and ISTJ

[Edgar]

Well, apparently something is going right for this couple of one year, that is on the verge of being wed. It looks like your theory is null and void in this instance.

One year together is not indicative of long term success, and 50% of all marriages end up in divorce.

Just saying.

 

[angelsinging]

the ISTJ I found was amazing. our differences seemed rough at first, but I feel that we really balanced each other out. I was almost too P and his J helped keep me responsible and kept me organized. The N and S can be a problem, but again, if you look at the bright side it helps. His S kept me grounded and picked up on things that I never saw because I was too busy daydreaming, and my N helped him look at things differently and our discussions and debates were so much fun because we learned so much from each other. The E and the I was a problem in the beginning because I wanted to drag him everywhere with me, but once I got to know him I was better able to adjust. and I think every ENFP needs a T to help them control their emotions and keep them underhand.

I did notice that the ISTJ changed me over the years, and not in a bad way. At first, I saw it as controlling, but in hindsight, I see it as balancing me out.

So are you being with an ISTJ? How long have you been together? If you think it works, then i dont need to worry about my friend. At the moment she might feel he is controlling but later on she might feel good.

 

[angelsinging]

Yes, ENFP's and ISTJ's don't share no letters. Doesn't necessarily mean that's a recipe for disaster. How old are these two? Their communication issues could be the result of immaturity. I know that Amargith is older and she loves IXTJs. [/QUOTE]

ENFP is 25, ISTJ is 27

 

[Hexis]

How bout you not be a dick, Hexis?

This made my evening.

Edit: In regards to the opening post everyone else has already voiced my concerns by the time I was able to get back to this.

 

[2XtremeENFP]

So are you being with an ISTJ? How long have you been together? If you think it works, then i dont need to worry about my friend. At the moment she might feel he is controlling but later on she might feel good.

We dated for 3 years, took some time off. And we are hanging out again currently, but not 'committed' yet. So, all in all, about 5 years. I know that while I was in the relationship, like I said, I felt controlled but I don't think He was doing it on purpose, it was just ISTJ and ENFP balancing. if that makes sense. I know that while we were apart, I needed that sense of someone helping me stay grounded, and I realized that I do want someone with ISTJ qualities more than I want any other kind. Again, this is me and my tastes, but I would ask your friend why or how she feels controlled. is it in her mind, or is the ISTJ actually doing controlling things?

 

[Wild horses]

I have known a few of these pairing work out quite well... I myself get on very well with ISTJs... sometimes.. well occasionally however, I have noticed lack of chemistry... but lots of fun.. dunno I am now in two minds about this pairing... Still love the ISTJs though suppose they just represent everything that I admire about human beings!

 

[sculpting]

Unless both ISTJ and ENFP have borderline S/N, it usually ends shitty.

I've talked about this on numerous occasions before because ISTJ male/ENFP female couplings occur fairly often (I'm guessing due to the fact that in our society ISTJ is often perceived as an ideal personality for a man, and ENFP is perceiveds as an ideal personality for a woman, so their coupling is encouraged by the external forces). But unfortunately for them, NP/SJ rarely make for a great dynamic.

I'm sure it works out for some, but from what I observed, it doesn't for most.

Edgar, I am gonna have to go opposite from you on this one.

I'd say behind an INTJ, an ISTJ is likely one of the better places for an ENFP to end up-especially as we grow older and get more Te. I have noticed the ENTPs tend to find enfps when young and then IXFJs for second wives. I wonder if ENFPs dont trend the same way but towards IXTJs.

I used to think IXTJs were boring as I was hunting for an Ne rush. However the more I watch them, I realize I can talk to them without speaking. We can read each other's facial expressions and communicate. I trust them. I enjoy the Ni grounding of the INTJ and love the abstract intellectual discourse. But the INTJs are much rarer (although I totally got hit on my an INTJ in la jolla last week), so ISTJs are more likely.

The ISTJs have an inferior Ne lurking in the basement. This is where it can be very fun. I will be very NeTe with my NTPs-not much emo at all. Around my ISTJs? I turn into an NeFi lunatic. They love it. It brings their Ne to the surface and makes them play. I dance in the chain mail at work, tell them I will whisper the secrets of ISO 13485 in their ears at midnight, and hop like a bunny down the hallway. They just stare-and giggle. We bond together.

Also I can be the whiniest Fi moany bitch ever and they empathasize. They totally understand and dont think I am selfish at all. What happens in turn is that the ISTJs seek me as a place they can Fi-share with. I may only know them for a week or so and they will share many painful stories as they know they can trust me and they recognize the Fi connection. They know they will not be Fe-shunned for sharing their pain.

I also share their core a little better? I would say they are systems then idealism where mine is idealism then systems. But we are both equally offended by some of the same TiFe behaviors.

ISTJ advice? Set up realistic expectations for how often you can overly emo breakdowns. I have convinced my QA director that if he wants to date emo chicks he has to tolerate once a month emo breakdowns. You cant get the emo without some emo fluctuation.

Also physical contact-we crave it. Set up schedules for petting of your pet ENFP and telling it that you love it. Just consider them part of your daily to-do list and you'll be good.

 

[sculpting]

Yes, ENFP's and ISTJ's don't share no letters. Doesn't necessarily mean that's a recipe for disaster. How old are these two? Their communication issues could be the result of immaturity. I know that Amargith is older and she loves IXTJs.

ENFP is 25, ISTJ is 27[/QUOTE]

They share the two middle judging functions.

ENFP: NeFiTe
ISTJ: SiTeFi

That is more important than the MBTI letters.

Last ISTJ tip-you'd better be cool cleaning or hiring a house cleaner. Fi is a very messy, imprecise thing.

 

[Kalach]

I used to think IXTJs were boring as I was hunting for an Ne rush. However the more I watch them, I realize I can talk to them without speaking. We can read each other's facial expressions and communicate. I trust them. I enjoy the Ni grounding of the INTJ and love the abstract intellectual discourse. But the INTJs are much rarer (although I totally got hit on my an INTJ in la jolla last week), so ISTJs are more likely.

And that's how you know ENFPs should be with ISTJs. What's Ni going to ground except maybe all Ne overflights into Ni airspace.

What I don't get is why people aren't seeing how emo ISTJs seem to be. That Fi/Ne seems to let them be feely and vague in a way that looks for emo meaning.

Yeah, sure, you get left alone a lot when you go off on the super Ne excursions, and feel trapped if the reminiscing goes on and on and on, but still....

It's not a "today" relationship. It's forever.

And ever.

And ever.

With no escape.

Ever.

 

[sculpting]

And that's how you know ENFPs should be with ISTJs. What's Ni going to ground except maybe all Ne overflights into Ni airspace.

What I don't get is why people aren't seeing how emo ISTJs seem to be. That Fi/Ne seems to let them be feely and vague in a way that looks for emo meaning.

Yeah, sure, you get left alone a lot when you go off on the super Ne excursions, and feel trapped if the reminiscing goes on and on and on, but still....

It's not a "today" relationship. It's forever.

And ever.

And ever.

With no escape.

Ever.

does Ni really need grounding? Or does it need to be pulled externally out of the internalized web it resides within? Get you ass out in the real world! (Is it a yearly INTJ avatar change holiday?)

And yeah ISTJs can be totally "mopey" as I titled an ISTJ thread awhile back. If you screw their Te standards without a good logical reason, then refuse to listen to them, you trigger a whiny Fi response. They get very petulant, mopey, sulky, then just refuse to play. Although I do the same exact thing.

However-on that note-ENTPs can even appear as total emo wrecks at times. It isnt the emo there-but the Ne fluctuations and anxiety looking for affirmation. But on the surface it sure as hell looks emo.

 

[Amargith]

Edgar, stop hogging all the enfps, let the istjs play too

Kalach, I find that it's not the Ni of an INTJ that balances me, but the Te, though Ni will sometimes help to add focus. I find the Te-Si combo of ISTJs often too restrictive often and moreso, my NeFi scares the living daylights out of them. Though, clearly, I am biased

 

[Kalach]

does Ni really need grounding? Or does it need to be pulled externally out of the internalized web it resides within? Get you ass out in the real world! (Is it a yearly INTJ avatar change holiday?)

I have of late come late to a seemingly totally obvious idea: Se grounds Ni.

The really real world. The one right on the doorstep, spinning right on by.

I find that it's not the Ni of an INTJ that balances me, but the Te, though Ni will sometimes help to add focus. I find the Te-Si combo of ISTJs often too restrictive often and moreso, my NeFi scares the living daylights out of them.

Yeah, probably. But that right there signals the bigger human challenge, doesn't it? And the bigger satisfaction, one day? Innit?

Theoretically.



What's that, honey, some internet guy explaining how we aren't right for each other? Well, that's a very important thing then. Shall I make a sandwich?

 

[Edgar]

Edgar, I am gonna have to go opposite from you on this one.

I'd say behind an INTJ, an ISTJ is likely one of the better places for an ENFP to end up-especially as we grow older and get more Te. I have noticed the ENTPs tend to find enfps when young and then IXFJs for second wives. I wonder if ENFPs dont trend the same way but towards IXTJs.

My observations of ENTPs are somewhat different: ENTP marries an ISFJ, which leads to divorce about 5 to 10 yrs later. After that, ENTP bunks up with some sort of N.

Anyway, I get your point on how mutual fascination can easily come about, due to an apparent "rounding" for an ISTJ and an ENFP. But "fascinations" and "obsessions" are fleeting, and the key to long term stability of the relationship is communication. And let's be honest here, NP - SJ communication tends to be very strained.

 

[Wild horses]

From what I have observed on the forum.. ENFPs and INTJs also have a strained sort of communication with logic getting blamed for crushing sentiments!

 

[Edgar]

From what I have observed on the forum.. ENFPs and INTJs also have a strained sort of communication with logic getting blamed for crushing sentiments!

I've just consulted with my logic and it thinks that you should stfu and go back to working on that Disney coloring book.

 

[Wild horses]

I've just consulted with my logic and it thinks that you should stfu and go back to working on that Disney coloring book.

Now that has left my feelings and my sleeping beauty motifs all hurt

 

[angelsinging]

ENFP is 25, ISTJ is 27

They share the two middle judging functions.

ENFP: NeFiTe
ISTJ: SiTeFi

That is more important than the MBTI letters.

Last ISTJ tip-you'd better be cool cleaning or hiring a house cleaner. Fi is a very messy, imprecise thing.[/QUOTE]

ENFP: NeFiTe
ISTJ: SiTeFi
What does the formulas mean? I am quite interested in this. I only know about MBTI letters. Have you got any website for these formulas so i can go for a look?

 

[sculpting]

I have of late come late to a seemingly totally obvious idea: Se grounds Ni.

The really real world. The one right on the doorstep, spinning right on by.


What's that, honey, some internet guy explaining how we aren't right for each other? Well, that's a very important thing then. Shall I make a sandwich?

Have fun with those ESFPs!!

My observations of ENTPs are somewhat different: ENTP marries an ISFJ, which leads to divorce about 5 to 10 yrs later. After that, ENTP bunks up with some sort of N.

Anyway, I get your point on how mutual fascination can easily come about, due to an apparent "rounding" for an ISTJ and an ENFP. But "fascinations" and "obsessions" are fleeting, and the key to long term stability of the relationship is communication. And let's be honest here, NP - SJ communication tends to be very strained.

ENTP + ISFJ seems to equal the entp marrying a PTO mom, then cheating on her out of boredom at 40. However entp + infj seems to fare somewhat better.

ENFP: NeFiTe
ISTJ: SiTeFi
What does the formulas mean? I am quite interested in this. I only know about MBTI letters. Have you got any website for these formulas so i can go for a look?

check out this sticky post-the second part explains the Jungian functions a bit. They were the original idea by Jung, and then were modified to produce the MBTI system. It will seem really confusing at first, but read through it a couple of times. A typical INFP would be Fi, Ne, Si for instance but there is a lot of discussion about how real the function orders are. I am an ENFP and should be Ne, Fi, Te but tend to actually use Te more than Fi.

http://www.typologycentral.com/foru...-personality-matrices/1966-mbti-tutorial.html

 

[Charmed Justice]

My observations of ENTPs are somewhat different: ENTP marries an ISFJ, which leads to divorce about 5 to 10 yrs later. After that, ENTP bunks up with some sort of N.

Anyway, I get your point on how mutual fascination can easily come about, due to an apparent "rounding" for an ISTJ and an ENFP. But "fascinations" and "obsessions" are fleeting, and the key to long term stability of the relationship is communication. And let's be honest here, NP - SJ communication tends to be very strained.

All of this rings true to me.

Got two ENTP guy friends with ISFJ wives, and they are both already looking for the door.

Husband is an ISTJ. Our entire relationships has been about "working on" the "difficult". It gets tiring, to say the least.

 

[sculpting]

All of this rings true to me.

Got two ENTP guy friends with ISFJ wives, and they are both already looking for the door.

Husband is an ISTJ. Our entire relationships has been about "working on" the "difficult". It gets tiring, to say the least.

You know if the EXTPs I know would leave it would be fine. But instead these guys will stay with the wives. Either they have kids and want a good mom to raise them, or they actually like having the wife serve as their mom as well.

So they keep the ISFJ at home, in some way really loving her, but then hit on me. Because why wouldn't you try and hook up with the cute ENFP chick?

I am up to n=2 ESTPs and n=5 ENTPs that I have seen behaving this way.