If I am in a committed relationship, and my craziness starts to cease (since we've been dating for a while, and all the WOW YOURE AWESOME feelings die down) I think my idealistic side doesnt let me wander away since I keep thinking that in a month or two, what if I get the crazy's again? It's like a love cycle for me. its awesome, its moderate, it's boring its moderate it's awesome. Over and Over. keeps me entertained...
I don't really get "grass is greener" during a relationship. I do it before one. I'm choosy before so I don't get it during.
ENFP Male: E-74% N-95% F-58% P-84% 3w2
"I feel there are two people inside me - me and my intuition. If I go against her, she'll screw me every time, and if I follow her, we get along quite nicely." -Kim Basinger
Hmm, an INFJ did this to me. Took someone whom he thought was better than me. Now I'm currently dating an INTJ. We'll see how that goes.
When I like someone, I daydream and fantasize about what could happen, might happen, would like to happen.. but I don't really expect any of those things to really happen. Sometimes I get lost in those thoughts and get obsessed with wanting them to be true.
I just like to pretend in my mind that they COULD be that perfect mate. They are most often not that person but... you can dream right?
E(66%) N (70%) F(63%) P (71%)
Enneagram: 7w2, sx/so/sp
Global 5: SLUAI
I just did, with an ENFP who'd liked me for almost a year prior. One night I finally felt the same and then we were together, riding the headiest of ENFP highs. My friends commented on how 'in love' we were, though we certainly never described it that way. It was just really, really intense, was all. We did all the fun we could think of, like sneaking onto a museum lawn to play drunken midnight croquet and getting purposefully lost on a nearby island.
And then, all at once, we split. It's like, all the intense feelings were always true and real, they were just unbelievably transient. Sucks, though, because we attend the same grad school and see each other daily. And now he's with another ENFP from his past, which makes me feel a bit jilted. Anyways, I think in my next relationship I'll go for something more stable.
So, yeah, anyone else have ENFP/ENFP battle stories?
This is what scares me about ENFPs... and I mean no offense by it. Just being real.
Originally Posted by Lauren Ashley
No, no, no not necessarily an ENFP thing?
It also depends on the ennegram too! And how old fashioned we are? ENFPs are not all perpetual school kids with crushes (no offense to other ENFPs, you know what I'm talking about )
I'm an Ennegram sexual type which means I am especially intense with people. Muy muy intense.
I do know the exhilration of infatuation and also of light romances. Sometimes they are one and the same, sometimes they are very distinct from one another. Not every situation or infatuation is the same.
When I fall, I fall hard, I fall fast, and I stay down for the count. 1) It is "for real" 2) There is no pre-stamped expiration date
I do not get the concept of love dwindling or getting bored or eyes wandering. At all. Because when I know I'm with you or I madly desire to be with you, it's over. Stick a fork in me because I'm done, son! I believe in 'the real deal' and when I strike gold I know things are over for me because of the way I'm wired. I have stayed infatuated or in love with people WAY past the point I should have, when things were HORRIBLE, when I was poorly treated when it was clearly and totally not workingn out, when logic and common sense clearly pointed in the other direction. I was seriously in the grips of old school biblical passion.
In other words, yes, I go mother flippin' craaaaaaaaazy when it comes to matters of the heart. It's seriously exhausting and time consuming for me and something I've tried to deal with by avoiding serious romance or infatuation et. al. but saying that to an ENFP is telling an addict to stay away from crack.
When it comes to this topic of love and 'grass is greener', ENFPs fall into consistent but distinct camps. The OP is in one camp and I'm another. Infatuations are meant to be temporal and fun. But the real deal hits me at my core and stays there. Even if the "real deal" is just a very poor excercise in judgement. I'm hopeless.
IRL some people I've dated have had reservations like Beat or Lauren Ashley's quotes because I give off an "easy come/easy go" vibe I guess. They would question my motives or ability to 'commit' or 'be serious' and in the end it only ended up biting me in the ass. And not in a good way! :P
Usually when people doubt your ability to be in a relationship or legitimacy or depth of feelings they adjust their own behavior and expectations accordingly and it can never work out. And yet, it seems some other ENFPs have the opposite problem of people OVER estimating their desire and ability to have LTRs when the ENFP is not serious or likely to get cold feet. What gives? It's not fair! *Harumph*
I've decided when it comes to matters of the heart that peopel speak in opposites. So now whatever they tell me in the initial stages of dating I flip and I will also end it on the spot in the future when I know the person is not willing to do what I want to do.
Because being motherflippin crazy about someone is a particular form of hell and it is even less enjoyable when it's done with the wrong person.
“If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde