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Thread: INFP Attraction

  1. #1
    Senior Member TopherRed's Avatar
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    Default INFP Attraction

    *Fuzzy rests chin on folded arms*

    So tell me INFPs, what are you attracted to? Also, what functions do you enjoy most in a mate?
    Love is the point.

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    Senior Member Coeur's Avatar
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    I love Fe and Ne.
    As for what I'm attracted to... really, I have absolutely no problem being constantly smothered with attention and affection. XD Seriously. If you go out of your way to pursue me and make me feel special, I will be flattered. That might sound self-centered, but I'm not trying to be... I just hate it when guys act distant or keep me guessing. [Well, on one hand keeping me guessing WORKS... but it is not pleasant and I'm fed up with mind games at this point.]

    Before doing this, though, you need to make sure:
    a. You're not RESTRICTING me. If I said: "I want to go do _____" and you said: "NO! You will be with me always!" Well... that isn't endearing anymore. >_>
    b. That I like you and want you to smother me. There's a difference between being affectionate and latching onto me. Don't assume that just because I smiled at you once that I am yours. >_>
    Everybody needs love.

  3. #3
    Senior Member WoodsWoman's Avatar
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    NT - I miss my ENTJ very much - however I've seen enough other NT interaction to find the whole lot of them very enticing. I find I like them to be a bit more extraverted than I am - I'm quite introverted and like the 'buffer' between me and the rest of the world. ---That said, if the spark was there I can imagine a relationship with any type that would be willing to work at it equally.

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    Senior Member Sizzling Berry's Avatar
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    Hmmmm - what a yummie question.

    I will answer like a true Fi user - from within. I most enjoy the company of people who allow me to keep the balance between my Fi and Ne use. U see Fi in me is like that hot-blooded, half-wild, pit-bull stubborn warrior. Ne is a cheaky and quirky damsel, who is open, curious and wants to explore stuff.

    But, once my teritory is in danger it's wam, bam, whoosh - the damsel is in the cave and all is left is collected, calm soldier (don't get me wrong - the worrior has and shows a passionate, caring side - but it's not with teritory in danger). Or if I need to fake a reaction just the damsel stays - and then she is totally rootless and scared.

    I think recently somewhere in the forum The state I am in talked about Fi INFPs and ballanced INFPs. I believe it very much (at least for me) depends on the people u r surrounded with and their behaviour towards u. Though the older u get the harder it is to imbalance u. I feel in the way described above around people whom I see as arrogant or trying to exert unjust power over me (I am actually growling writing it - grrrrrr, rawrrrrr). And it's not a fun state to be in. :steam:

    But Darlin if u let me keep my balance then it's pure lambadamba and salsa together . And once u get to a passionate side of a warrior.... mmmm, grau, rawrrrr....

    And what girls said resonates - especially Coeur about freedom (though in a form u allow me to feel my way, I allow u to feel ur way - then we negotiate and reach) and WoodsWoman about working at it equally.

    Finally, I think we should have "a tiger" emoticon.
    Hot-hearted head

  5. #5
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    Since you are likely looking for female INFP feedback, I'll be brief.

    When I look back at the women who I've crushed on, I find a pattern of being drawn to Fe. Especially paired with Ni. (I've never known an ENFJ though. I'm talking about INFJs and xSFJs.)

    However I've never really known any NT women, so the whole lot of them are a huge wild card. The ones I've interacted with here, and one possible real life experience, suggests a potential, though.

    As far as traits, intelligence, ability to make me laugh, and good character will get you far.
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  6. #6
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    I definitely want to be pursued, but not thrust upon (no pun ).
    I find that INTPs pursue me well without cramping my style (I'm surprised at how shy INTPs will suddenly step up to the plate when it comes to pursuing me). My little experience with ISTPs shows the same, and of course being "too cool for school" makes them quite attractive. I think I respond well to Ti-dom, as long as we have similar interests/values. Of course, having a Ne connection is always fun. I'd only be concerned that with another introvert we'd be too isolated, haha.

    I adore ENFJs, but have only been friends with them thus far. As long as they are upfront about their intentions and don't flirt with other girls, then I think I'd really like one for myself. Fe + Ni is so very charming, fun, warm, interesting, etc. Fe + Si can grate on my nerves though. I'm not familiar with ESFJ men though, so I'm not sure if that makes a difference.

    INTJs seem to drop the ball too much, yet they seem to think the relationship is on a level it is not and want to commit too fast. ISTJs are like pit bulls that won't let go ("I've added it all up and we're a great match, so you cannot possibly resist me!"), and I inevitably get turned off. I guess Te-aux just doesn't work for me.

    xNFPs give me a buddy vibe, but no romance. I don't have enough real world experience romantically with other types to say.

    As for traits, there's some recent thread where I made a list, but it's a lot of obvious stop (loyalty, compassion, honesty etc). I generally want someone physically attractive to me with intelligence, common interests (mostly the arts for me), strong morals and similar life goals/values, and a compatible sense of humor (witty and silly). I think I'd prefer someone who seems warm externally, and an extrovert who is more outgoing than me. I think that's why types with some Fe appeal to me, even if it's inferior Fe, haha.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe
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    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    I definitely want to be pursued, but not thrust upon (no pun ).
    How do you know an INFP likes you? We let you try and win us over.

    (Not that I'm advocating our approach here, especially for the males. But you gotta admit there is truth to it.)

  8. #8
    Member Gothmawg's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sizzling Berry View Post

    Finally, I think we should have "a tiger" emoticon.
    Precisely the reason for my avatar...rawr!

  9. #9
    Senior Member Coeur's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Udog View Post
    How do you know an INFP likes you? We let you try and win us over.

    (Not that I'm advocating our approach here, especially for the males. But you gotta admit there is truth to it.)
    ^Exactly.

    We pick up on signals really well. Not overtly responding to the signals isn't a bad sign. The fact that we're letting you continue is good. If we don't like you, we will flee from those same signals.

    Edit: Also, do any other INFPs have the tendancy to ignore someone that is looking at you? O_o I usually do it as a test to see if they are really looking at me, or if I'm just imagining it. XD If someone creepy or undesireable is staring at me, I will leave the area. Immedietely. This ties into the above.
    Everybody needs love.
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  10. #10
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coeur View Post
    ^Exactly.

    We pick up on signals really well. Not overtly responding to the signals isn't a bad sign. The fact that we're letting you continue is good. If we don't like you, we will flee from those same signals.
    I need clear signals though, or I will convince myself it's all in my head.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe
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