[INFP] INFP Attraction

[Bubbles]

Okay, who said 4w3 INFPs love obsession? Was that you, BlackCat? :steam:

I need space. Obsession freaks me out. I need to ease into that sort of thing, though I suppose my SJ mom rubbed off on me growing up on being "logical" in relationships. It's a trait I carry to this day, and which nags me at strange moments.

As for you, Fuzz, my first love was an ENFJ and a part of me still has a harmless girl crush on that boy. So if your type is any indication, you are an INFP magnet.

What I find attractive, hmm...this list fluctuates but always has:

Passion.
Perspective.
Self-confidence.
Initiative. (I don't initiate anything )
Intelligence.
Kindness.
Patience. (Because I won't speak my mind until I feel like it! )

But I need to trust him. Really, in a relationship I desperately need a best friend. If you're not that close to me, or I can't let you get that close to me, you're going to get an uncooperative human being on your hands:

"What's wrong?"
"Nothing! "
"..."
"...?"
"-sigh-"

 

[chickpea]

almost every guy i've been attracted to has been a ExxP. since i'm pretty shy i wouldn't do well with another introvert because i'm not willing to make the effort. i need for the guy to be aggressive enough to make the first move.

 

[jawz]

Personally, I've come to love NT types. I love and really appreciate that they call me out when I am being ridiculous and I think they have the best sense of humor.

 

[Ginkgo]

I value integrity first and foremost, because I hate having to analyze flaky women. Sure, it's a nice puzzle to solve every once in a while, but love isn't about puzzles.

I like abstract conversations about the world and systems. This could be why some of my best friends over the years were ENTPs and INTPs.

Being appreciated for my gifts is extremely important because I feel that I have several that I never have the chance to use. If some little lady approached me one day and asked me to paint for her or write something, I would be enthralled with joy.

I like all functions, to be honest. Some more than others, but I know how to alter myself to suite a person's mentality. I can tell you that my least favorite functions are Se and - to a lesser extent - Si. Extroverted Se users literally drain my energy like vampires. If you plan on finding an INFP mate, don't succumb to tertiary temptation.

My very favorite functions are Ne, Fe, and Ni because they tend to be the most "socially appreciative" functions.

EDIT: I also despise small talk. I sometimes wish that people would just delve right in to meaningful conversations. Unfortunately, the population is overrun with sensors, so this is a rare occurrence for me.

I knew an INFP girl who seemed extremely withdrawn and jaded on the exterior, but one day I decided to start talking politics and religion, and her face lit up like a light bulb.

 

[Thalassa]

.

Different thought: Trust is when I can allow myself to get mad at you and you won't go away.

This statement resonates with me.

 

[eternal_learner]

^ I can kind of relate to that. I'm so dense sometimes. And I'm often afraid that I am just assuming things though I can really sense something sometimes! Lol.

 

[TopherRed]

Okay, who said 4w3 INFPs love obsession? Was that you, BlackCat? :steam:

I need space. Obsession freaks me out. I need to ease into that sort of thing, though I suppose my SJ mom rubbed off on me growing up on being "logical" in relationships. It's a trait I carry to this day, and which nags me at strange moments.

As for you, Fuzz, my first love was an ENFJ and a part of me still has a harmless girl crush on that boy. So if your type is any indication, you are an INFP magnet.

What I find attractive, hmm...this list fluctuates but always has:

Passion.
Perspective.
Self-confidence.
Initiative. (I don't initiate anything )
Intelligence.
Kindness.
Patience. (Because I won't speak my mind until I feel like it! )

But I need to trust him. Really, in a relationship I desperately need a best friend. If you're not that close to me, or I can't let you get that close to me, you're going to get an uncooperative human being on your hands:

"What's wrong?"
"Nothing! "
"..."
"...?"
"-sigh-"

Interesting...let me see here...
Passion. Oh yeah.
Perspective. Like a Betazoid.
Self-confidence. Sometimes, I have too much.
Initiative. (I don't initiate anything ) I wanna press the big red button!!! :crazy:
Intelligence. I think so. Most people believe that I'm above average.
Kindness. This one is hard to show totally, unless I trust you.
Patience. (Because I won't speak my mind until I feel like it! ) That's what computer games are for...but sometimes I do get when I put my heart out there and the answer requires a lot of thought. Those times are good for me though, any thing that doesn't kill me, makes me stronger.
Trust. Most people trust me. I cannot betray the one I love. I'd rather die.

Now all I gotz ta do is camp out at a library until one of you comes along and spills your latte all over a book or something to give me a chance to be Prince Charming. *sigh*

 

[OrangeAppled]

EDIT: I also despise small talk. I sometimes wish that people would just delve right in to meaningful conversations. Unfortunately, the population is overrun with sensors, so this is a rare occurrence for me.

I knew an INFP girl who seemed extremely withdrawn and jaded on the exterior, but one day I decided to start talking politics and religion, and her face lit up like a light bulb.

Very true.

I really don't mind people just jumping into random, meaty conversation. It's quite refreshing, and I will definitely be more responsive. I have nothing to say in small talk and draw huge blanks, and so I find myself following some social script in asking the "right " questions and giving the "appropriate" responses. I probably come off as a bit slow and dull, until someone brings up a topic that I have thoughts on and you can't shut me up .

 

[runvardh]

Very true.

I really don't mind people just jumping into random, meaty conversation. It's quite refreshing, and I will definitely be more responsive. I have nothing to say in small talk and draw huge blanks, and so I find myself following some social script in asking the "right " questions and giving the "appropriate" responses. I probably come off as a bit slow and dull, until someone brings up a topic that I have thoughts on and you can't shut me up .

Yeah, sounds about right on this end too. I never knew people wanted to know I put 4 sugars in my coffee and no cream when I'm not adding hot chocolate...

 

[sleuthiness]

I'm attracted to those who are able to come to most decisions on their own. Or those who genuinely need an ear to listen to them.

People who post a 1k times in one internet thread or rattle off in real life, no thanks. The more one says, the less one's words mean is my motto.

 

[Thessaly]

I realized today that the two men I have loved were both Fe dominant and every other guy I've dated long term has had secondary or tertiary Fe. Interesting! I'm gonna guess that's what does it for me. Makes sense though because I love guys who wear their hearts on their sleeves and that's exactly what Fe is: a heart on a sleeve.

 

[jtanSis1]

That's funny until you realize I actually F$%^ing WROTE love poetry for the last six months, got dropped by Mr. INFP, and now have absolutely nothing to do with reams of perfectly good paper marred with seventeen rhyming couplets apiece, all of which pair such immortal words as "fire/desire", "death/breath", and "moon/soon."

I never said it was GOOD love poetry.

Well, actually one was funny--and not in the OhGodPleaseSomebodyScoopMyEyesOutWithASporkBecauseICan'tUnseeThat kind of way. I might save that one for further adaptation.

EEEEeewwww.

Although I would like to receive a poem, it's so much better when you do gestures your way, like helping me out when I need advice, or showing me what your currently working on. It shows me that's how you want to express that you care. Let me write the poetry for you, especially since mine would have no structure, but would come straight from the heart as I would feel it.

They can even be short, such as: The way you help truly sends my soul to the heavens, and when I see how you truly care about your goals, brings tears of joy. May you never end in your depth, and continue to share your dreams.

 

[Frenetic Tranquility]

Hi, I wouldn't mind reviving this thread. It seems laden with information.

I had a question for the infps. I was wondering how if you were in a previous longterm relationship turned marriage where your spouse cheated on you, how that would affect the attraction if at all. Would you still be attracted to the same things? Would you be more worried when someone says something that hurts your feelings? Even more hesitant than an already hesitant self on letting people in?

 

[Lily flower]

Well, I'm an INFJ, but I am often similar to an INFP, so I'm going to respond.

If you are an ENFJ, just keep being yourself. We won't be able to help being drawn to you naturally.

 

[Adasta]

I tend to like:

• ENFPs
• ENFJs
• ISFPs
• ISFJs
  
  Things that are attractive to me are Ne, Auxiliary Fi, and Si.
  
  
  
  

 

[Frenetic Tranquility]

Well, I'm an INFJ, but I am often similar to an INFP, so I'm going to respond.

If you are an ENFJ, just keep being yourself. We won't be able to help being drawn to you naturally.

Do ENFJ ever tend to hurt feelings like ENTP? lol. I guess they do have Fi in there, ENTP not so much.

 

[PerSempre]

I find other intuitives fascinating. Not sure what it is exactly, just that they can make the same leaps and bounds I make, and I don't have to explain in detail.

Met an INTJ recently, that I've fallen hard for before I even realized what was happening.

He's intelligent, observant, well read, and imaginative. He really, really listens when I talk, and so far we seem to have similar interests, which is a rarity for me. During the day he seems more guarded, and I sometimes find him observing me keenly. He kind of pops up where ever I wonder off to. At night when we get together with friends, and after he's had a drink, he warm, gregarious, talkative, and curious.

He's the first guy in a very long time who engages me on so many levels, and that's key. Its not enough to have a face that I find handsome, or have emotional depth. He engages my creativity and my imagination, and I think that's why I fell so hard so fast.

 

[Forever]

Why are you INFP's so difficult.

Oh wait yeah you too ISFP's.



Why are like 95% of my crushes are FP's

 

[jcloudz]

oooo look at that. you got a cute enfj trying to get in your panties

 

[Forever]

oooo look at that. you got a cute enfj trying to get in your panties

Who????