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Thread: INFP Attraction

  1. #51
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    Hmmm. I may be an odd person to answer this, but why not? I test an INFP pretty consistently at this point, but for work situations, where I either mimic or meld into an XNFX - borderline ENFJ.

    At work, I can get along with anybody but cruel/domineering types, which encompasses all myers briggs since cruelty is just a perversion of the self.

    I am a 100% "N", so the S placement can be uncomfoortable but interesting - incompatible, though.

    In my private life, I am attracted to depth, originality + kindness and strength, weirdness, privacy and people who have genuine relationships, but not so many that I am forced to socialize a lot. People who say things others won't, but express themselves fully in expression - silence, humor, art, scientific pursuits, writing - these are the people I have fallen for, other than a sprinkling of TJs that excited but ultimately offended even as they stirred me up

    Hope this helps

  2. #52
    Away with the fairies Southern Kross's Avatar
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    Hmmm, hard to explain. I know what I want but defining it is difficult. And I'm afraid of falling into the trap that most people do where they say what they think they want (eg. kind, sensitive) and not what they really want (a bad boy with a motorbike). I'll give it a go.

    In terms of behaviour/interaction:
    - somewhat forward, will pursue me - (as said earlier) I need to know for sure that you like me.
    - relaxed/laid back approach
    - quietly confident
    - easy to converse with - when we can just talk about all sorts of interesting things for hours on end.
    - makes me feel understood - I want someone who gets me (because almost no one does)
    - makes me feel encouraged - to go places and do things I have long wanted to do but lacked the nerve
    - makes me feel safe/comfortable to be myself - otherwise I'm wound up tight like a spring
    - nice guy manner - warm, friendly, pleasant, gets along with a sorts of people
    - indirectly romantic - not in a sentimental, mushy or cliched way

    In terms of personality:
    - Kind and considerate with others
    - loyal, moral and honest
    - authenticity of character
    - common interests - particularly having similar taste in music and film but also wide general interests
    - a sense of humour - witty is sexy (but not too much - needs to be able to be serious too)
    - interest in the world - politics, issues, events etc
    - un-superficial
    - open and non-judgemental
    - intelligent
    - more organized, steady, and on to it than me
    - patient and able to adapt, compromise when neccessary

    I think this might be an ENFJ?
    Likes DulcetRefrain liked this post

  3. #53
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fuzzcrossed View Post
    That's an ENFJ...or an ENTJ.
    True, but getting one to like an INFP when they're so dominant and were so passive isn't easy, even though opposites attract.

  4. #54
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fuzzcrossed View Post
    I too consider words very well when I write them to someone I care for.
    Not me. I start waxing poetic, speak silver-tongued, and act chivalrous when it happens naturally.

  5. #55
    Senior Member Cranky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jtanSis1 View Post
    Not me. I start waxing poetic, speak silver-tongued, and act chivalrous when it happens naturally.
    Awww.
    Personally, *I* think I'm hysterically funny.

  6. #56
    half-nut member briochick's Avatar
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    I would say in theory that every type is attractive in their own way.
    I have found that I often don't like NF men *that way*.
    Anyone who is 100% S is going to have conflict with me.
    Anyone who's 100% any function will probably have problems *getting me*, because I tend to see things from many angles, and have an "appalling" tendency to point them out.
    As for individual functions...they're all useful and have pros and cons.
    I want someone who is not like me, but gets me. Or, if they don't get me, appreciate my uniqueness and love me.
    I like someone who likes to spend time with me but doesn't need to be around me all the time, even if they're in love.
    And someone who will at least pretend to listen, if not genuinely listen.
    Who will support my endeavors, and won't get too pissed off about navel-gazing.
    Who doesn't need to be status quo.
    Who isn't over emotional and can help me calm down when I am (ie. not crying too and not yelling at me).
    and won't make fun of me for having strong morals.
    ...What type is that?
    -Brio

    "I have never in my life envied a human being who led an easy life; I have envied a great many people who led difficult lives and led them well."
    -Teddy Roosevelt
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  7. #57
    I drink your milkshake. Thessaly's Avatar
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    I'm attracted to guys with passion and intrigue. ENFJs definitely fit that criteria well.

  8. #58
    Away with the fairies Southern Kross's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by briochick View Post
    I would say in theory that every type is attractive in their own way.
    I have found that I often don't like NF men *that way*.
    Anyone who is 100% S is going to have conflict with me.
    Anyone who's 100% any function will probably have problems *getting me*, because I tend to see things from many angles, and have an "appalling" tendency to point them out.
    As for individual functions...they're all useful and have pros and cons.
    I want someone who is not like me, but gets me. Or, if they don't get me, appreciate my uniqueness and love me.
    I like someone who likes to spend time with me but doesn't need to be around me all the time, even if they're in love.
    And someone who will at least pretend to listen, if not genuinely listen.
    Who will support my endeavors, and won't get too pissed off about navel-gazing.
    Who doesn't need to be status quo.
    Who isn't over emotional and can help me calm down when I am (ie. not crying too and not yelling at me).
    and won't make fun of me for having strong morals.
    ...What type is that?
    Yeah, you seem to address the sorts of problems I have. You hit the nail on the head with the comment about how INFPs try to see things from all points of view. We try to understand people from their own perspective rather than a single fixed one. People rarely do us the same justice as we do them and this reduces their ability to understand us. Understanding us is so important, if not the most important thing. If there isn't understanding, every other quality and personality trait is completely irrelevant. I guess in my mind if you can truly understand me (and still manage to like me), everything else will follow.

    I guess it sounds so pathetic to whinge that 'nobody gets me' but its the pure and simple truth. INFPs don't really fit into boxes easily - we don't adhere to straight-forward rules of behaviour. Its not easy to see why we behave as we do, let alone forgive us for it. How can I be with someone if they are unable to comprehend me? How could they be expected to know what I need from a relationship? I don't expect them to be psychic or anything, but they need to come from a position of openess and sensitivity.

    And yay for passion and intrigue Thessaly!

  9. #59
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cranky View Post
    Awww.
    Shall I grace you with a poem about your kind and heartfelt affection

  10. #60
    Senior Member Cranky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jtanSis1 View Post
    Shall I grace you with a poem about your kind and heartfelt affection
    That's funny until you realize I actually F$%^ing WROTE love poetry for the last six months, got dropped by Mr. INFP, and now have absolutely nothing to do with reams of perfectly good paper marred with seventeen rhyming couplets apiece, all of which pair such immortal words as "fire/desire", "death/breath", and "moon/soon."

    I never said it was GOOD love poetry.

    Well, actually one was funny--and not in the OhGodPleaseSomebodyScoopMyEyesOutWithASporkBecause ICan'tUnseeThat kind of way. I might save that one for further adaptation.

    EEEEeewwww.
    Personally, *I* think I'm hysterically funny.

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