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  1. #1
    Dreaming the life onemoretime's Avatar
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    Default What is appealing about the various types, what is unappealing?

    Forewarning - this is a cheap, baldfaced attempt at relationship advice

    So... what is it about the various other types that you NFs dig? What are the sort of things that they do to make you swoon, and what are the things that are an immediate turn-off? I sometimes feel as if I am walking through life with blinders on to these sorts of things, and any help would be much appreciated.

  2. #2
    Junior Member FaithBW's Avatar
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    Umm, hmm...I can't say that there is something that would be an immediate turnoff about other types. My dh is an INTJ (I think...he refuses to take any mbti test so I can't be certain). I like that he is rational. In fact, I love it. When I get into one of my emotional moods, he can calm me down and help me to see the other side of my argument. I also love that he is intellectual and curious. He reads a lot like me and we can discuss so many different issues.

    As for turn offs, I mean he does have some but since he's not the most open person and doesn't like a million people in his business (which is understandable), I'll keep that to myself.

  3. #3
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    I started and then got bogged down. Can you be a little more specific about what you are looking for?

    Love:
    Integrity
    Kindness
    Critical thinking
    Confidence
    Strong thought out sense of values
    Curious and life long learner
    Interest in other people
    Creativity
    Liking me specifically, not just wanting a girlfriend
    Being a good host
    Gregarious
    Someone who keeps a mental list of things I like and surprises me when I least expect it
    Stick figure portraits of me
    Picnics and walks
    Being a good teacher
    Cuts people slack without being a pushover
    Is able to depend on me and is available to be depended on. Ability to trust.
    Honesty (but still tactful)
    Neither avoids nor seeks out conflict and when something comes up takes the lead in resolving it.
    Tends to take the lead in the relationship while still taking my feelings, responses into account (doesn't pass off responsibility)

    Dislike:
    Excessive bluntness
    Inflexibility
    Wishy-washiness
    Inconsistency
    No willingness to verbalize thought processes (at least enough that I can rest easy and chill out)
    Laziness or lack of drive to do anything
    Rudeness to waiters/waitresses etc.
    Impatience with children
    Has friends of low character
    Insecure
    Lateness
    Pushiness
    Doesn't finish what they start.
    Expects others to adapt, without being willing to make any concessions
    Unwilling to seek advice
    Moodiness

  4. #4
    Senior Member Coeur's Avatar
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    ^ I'll copy fidelia and generate a formulate a general pro-con list.
    YAY traits:
    Openness
    Honesty
    Confidence
    Energy
    Friendliness/outgoingness
    Smiling
    Hugs
    Affection
    Depth
    Wit
    Well cultured/informed/educated
    Intelligence
    Creativity/uniqueness/strangeness
    Diplomatic
    Assertive
    Not easily fazed
    Logical
    Constantly learning
    Fun/Spontaneous
    Mature
    Initiates contact
    Any positive qualities that counterbalance myself

    Bad traits:
    Tactless
    Nitpicky
    Pushy
    Inconsiderate/rude
    Can only see in black and white
    Two-dimensional/shallow
    Narrow-minded
    Not willing to try new things
    Manipulative
    Controlling
    Restrictive
    Possessive
    Insults/attacks others
    Canít handle conflict situations maturely/objectively
    Bossy
    Distant/cold
    Disrespectful
    Judgemental
    People who think that they're better than me [can't we be equal, but different?]
    Lack of common sense
    Everybody needs love.

  5. #5
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    I stole a few listed

    Turn-offs:
    arrogance
    dishonesty
    lack of morals
    hedonistic
    violent & general disrespect for life
    belligerent
    stupidity
    clingy/needy
    cruel or vulgar humor
    shallow
    false flattery
    general fakeness
    manipulative / users
    slow (mentally and physically)
    misogynistic
    overly critical / nitpicky
    lack of vision
    rudeness
    boring
    won't try new things
    close-minded / won't listen to anyone
    controlling / bossy
    too into physical things (not enough mental/emotional side)
    doesn't like or "get" art or intellectual things
    overly passive
    too aggressive
    immature or acts like an old man
    no ambition / lazy
    stingy / overly frugal
    annoyingly happy or annoyingly depressed all the time
    game-playing

    Turn-ons:
    loyalty
    honesty
    intelligent
    intellectual
    witty
    silly
    playful
    cultured
    creative
    affectionate (verbally & physically)
    friendly and warm
    confident
    respects women
    respect for life
    can be spontaneous
    takes the lead/initiative
    quirky/offbeat
    generous / giving
    responsible
    strong morals
    spiritual
    compassionate
    kind
    thoughtful
    supportive
    encouraging
    emotional depth
    straight-forward with intentions
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  6. #6
    Senior Member Qre:us's Avatar
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    Talking Finding the Prince Charming to fit these *shoes*

    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    I started and then got bogged down. Can you be a little more specific about what you are looking for?

    Love:
    Integrity
    Kindness
    Critical thinking
    Confidence
    Strong thought out sense of values
    Curious and life long learner
    Interest in other people
    Creativity
    Liking me specifically, not just wanting a girlfriend
    Being a good host
    Gregarious
    Someone who keeps a mental list of things I like and surprises me when I least expect it
    Stick figure portraits of me
    Picnics and walks
    Being a good teacher
    Cuts people slack without being a pushover
    Is able to depend on me and is available to be depended on. Ability to trust.
    Honesty (but still tactful)
    Neither avoids nor seeks out conflict and when something comes up takes the lead in resolving it.
    Tends to take the lead in the relationship while still taking my feelings, responses into account (doesn't pass off responsibility)

    Dislike:
    Excessive bluntness
    Inflexibility
    Wishy-washiness
    Inconsistency
    No willingness to verbalize thought processes (at least enough that I can rest easy and chill out)
    Laziness or lack of drive to do anything
    Rudeness to waiters/waitresses etc.
    Impatience with children
    Has friends of low character
    Insecure
    Lateness
    Pushiness
    Doesn't finish what they start.
    Expects others to adapt, without being willing to make any concessions
    Unwilling to seek advice
    Moodiness
    Quote Originally Posted by Coeur View Post
    ^ I'll copy fidelia and generate a formulate a general pro-con list.
    YAY traits:
    Openness
    Honesty
    Confidence
    Energy
    Friendliness/outgoingness
    Smiling
    Hugs
    Affection
    Depth
    Wit
    Well cultured/informed/educated
    Intelligence
    Creativity/uniqueness/strangeness
    Diplomatic
    Assertive
    Not easily fazed
    Logical
    Constantly learning
    Fun/Spontaneous
    Mature
    Initiates contact
    Any positive qualities that counterbalance myself

    Bad traits:
    Tactless
    Nitpicky
    Pushy
    Inconsiderate/rude
    Can only see in black and white
    Two-dimensional/shallow
    Narrow-minded
    Not willing to try new things
    Manipulative
    Controlling
    Restrictive
    Possessive
    Insults/attacks others
    Canít handle conflict situations maturely/objectively
    Bossy
    Distant/cold
    Disrespectful
    Judgemental
    People who think that they're better than me [can't we be equal, but different?]
    Lack of common sense
    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    I stole a few listed

    Turn-offs:
    arrogance
    dishonesty
    lack of morals
    hedonistic
    violent & general disrespect for life
    belligerent
    stupidity
    clingy/needy
    cruel or vulgar humor
    shallow
    false flattery
    general fakeness
    manipulative / users
    slow (mentally and physically)
    misogynistic
    overly critical / nitpicky
    lack of vision
    rudeness
    boring
    won't try new things
    close-minded / won't listen to anyone
    controlling / bossy
    too into physical things (not enough mental/emotional side)
    doesn't like or "get" art or intellectual things
    overly passive
    too aggressive
    immature or acts like an old man
    no ambition / lazy
    stingy / overly frugal
    annoyingly happy or annoyingly depressed all the time
    game-playing

    Turn-ons:
    loyalty
    honesty
    intelligent
    intellectual
    witty
    silly
    playful
    cultured
    creative
    affectionate (verbally & physically)
    friendly and warm
    confident
    respects women
    respect for life
    can be spontaneous
    takes the lead/initiative
    quirky/offbeat
    generous / giving
    responsible
    strong morals
    spiritual
    compassionate
    kind
    thoughtful
    supportive
    encouraging
    emotional depth
    straight-forward with intentions
    ^ If you move your scroll button up and down really fast, it's an awesome dizzying effect. The powa of such lists.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Willfrey's Avatar
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    Default

    That is quite a list, so to paraphrase...

    Turn-ons: Positive Traits

    Turn-offs: Negative Traits

    Missing anything?
    ...Then I ducked my head and the lights went out, and two guns blazed in the dark;
    And a woman screamed, and the lights went up, and two men lay stiff and stark...

  8. #8
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    Not really. That's why I asked him to be more specific.

  9. #9
    Dreaming the life onemoretime's Avatar
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    Distinct traits that are related to personality type.

  10. #10
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    Default

    Dislike:
    Excessive bluntness - double check
    Inflexibility - depends on the issue at hand
    Wishy-washiness - dont understand
    Inconsistency - check
    No willingness to verbalize thought processes (at least enough that I can rest easy and chill out) - check
    Laziness or lack of drive to do anything - check
    Rudeness to waiters/waitresses etc. - check
    Impatience with children - check
    Has friends of low character - check
    Insecure - check
    Lateness - check
    Pushiness - check
    Doesn't finish what they start. - check
    Expects others to adapt, without being willing to make any concessions - check
    Unwilling to seek advice - depends on the person, giving, but in this case check
    Moodiness - check

    ------------

    Fidelia, I dont know what you think, but I am sure, we will never get together
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

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