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[NF] What is appealing about the various types, what is unappealing?

onemoretime

Dreaming the life
Joined
Jun 29, 2009
Messages
4,455
MBTI Type
3h50
Forewarning - this is a cheap, baldfaced attempt at relationship advice

So... what is it about the various other types that you NFs dig? What are the sort of things that they do to make you swoon, and what are the things that are an immediate turn-off? I sometimes feel as if I am walking through life with blinders on to these sorts of things, and any help would be much appreciated.
 

FaithBW

New member
Joined
Oct 9, 2009
Messages
26
MBTI Type
INFP
Umm, hmm...I can't say that there is something that would be an immediate turnoff about other types. My dh is an INTJ (I think...he refuses to take any mbti test so I can't be certain). I like that he is rational. In fact, I love it. When I get into one of my emotional moods, he can calm me down and help me to see the other side of my argument. I also love that he is intellectual and curious. He reads a lot like me and we can discuss so many different issues.

As for turn offs, I mean he does have some but since he's not the most open person and doesn't like a million people in his business (which is understandable), I'll keep that to myself. :)
 

Fidelia

Iron Maiden
Staff member
Joined
May 31, 2009
Messages
14,497
MBTI Type
INFJ
I started and then got bogged down. Can you be a little more specific about what you are looking for?

Love:
Integrity
Kindness
Critical thinking
Confidence
Strong thought out sense of values
Curious and life long learner
Interest in other people
Creativity
Liking me specifically, not just wanting a girlfriend
Being a good host
Gregarious
Someone who keeps a mental list of things I like and surprises me when I least expect it
Stick figure portraits of me
Picnics and walks
Being a good teacher
Cuts people slack without being a pushover
Is able to depend on me and is available to be depended on. Ability to trust.
Honesty (but still tactful)
Neither avoids nor seeks out conflict and when something comes up takes the lead in resolving it.
Tends to take the lead in the relationship while still taking my feelings, responses into account (doesn't pass off responsibility)

Dislike:
Excessive bluntness
Inflexibility
Wishy-washiness
Inconsistency
No willingness to verbalize thought processes (at least enough that I can rest easy and chill out)
Laziness or lack of drive to do anything
Rudeness to waiters/waitresses etc.
Impatience with children
Has friends of low character
Insecure
Lateness
Pushiness
Doesn't finish what they start.
Expects others to adapt, without being willing to make any concessions
Unwilling to seek advice
Moodiness
 

Coeur

New member
Joined
Jul 13, 2009
Messages
237
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
^ I'll copy fidelia and generate a formulate a general pro-con list.
YAY traits:
Openness
Honesty
Confidence
Energy
Friendliness/outgoingness
Smiling
Hugs
Affection
Depth
Wit
Well cultured/informed/educated
Intelligence
Creativity/uniqueness/strangeness
Diplomatic
Assertive
Not easily fazed
Logical
Constantly learning
Fun/Spontaneous
Mature
Initiates contact
Any positive qualities that counterbalance myself

Bad traits:
Tactless
Nitpicky
Pushy
Inconsiderate/rude
Can only see in black and white
Two-dimensional/shallow
Narrow-minded
Not willing to try new things
Manipulative
Controlling
Restrictive
Possessive
Insults/attacks others
Can’t handle conflict situations maturely/objectively
Bossy
Distant/cold
Disrespectful
Judgemental
People who think that they're better than me [can't we be equal, but different?]
Lack of common sense
 

OrangeAppled

Sugar Hiccup
Joined
Mar 20, 2009
Messages
7,626
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I stole a few listed :cheese:

Turn-offs:
arrogance
dishonesty
lack of morals
hedonistic
violent & general disrespect for life
belligerent
stupidity
clingy/needy
cruel or vulgar humor
shallow
false flattery
general fakeness
manipulative / users
slow (mentally and physically)
misogynistic
overly critical / nitpicky
lack of vision
rudeness
boring
won't try new things
close-minded / won't listen to anyone
controlling / bossy
too into physical things (not enough mental/emotional side)
doesn't like or "get" art or intellectual things
overly passive
too aggressive
immature or acts like an old man
no ambition / lazy
stingy / overly frugal
annoyingly happy or annoyingly depressed all the time
game-playing

Turn-ons:
loyalty
honesty
intelligent
intellectual
witty
silly
playful
cultured
creative
affectionate (verbally & physically)
friendly and warm
confident
respects women
respect for life
can be spontaneous
takes the lead/initiative
quirky/offbeat
generous / giving
responsible
strong morals
spiritual
compassionate
kind
thoughtful
supportive
encouraging
emotional depth
straight-forward with intentions
 

Qre:us

New member
Joined
Nov 21, 2008
Messages
4,890
Finding the Prince Charming to fit these *shoes*

I started and then got bogged down. Can you be a little more specific about what you are looking for?

Love:
Integrity
Kindness
Critical thinking
Confidence
Strong thought out sense of values
Curious and life long learner
Interest in other people
Creativity
Liking me specifically, not just wanting a girlfriend
Being a good host
Gregarious
Someone who keeps a mental list of things I like and surprises me when I least expect it
Stick figure portraits of me
Picnics and walks
Being a good teacher
Cuts people slack without being a pushover
Is able to depend on me and is available to be depended on. Ability to trust.
Honesty (but still tactful)
Neither avoids nor seeks out conflict and when something comes up takes the lead in resolving it.
Tends to take the lead in the relationship while still taking my feelings, responses into account (doesn't pass off responsibility)

Dislike:
Excessive bluntness
Inflexibility
Wishy-washiness
Inconsistency
No willingness to verbalize thought processes (at least enough that I can rest easy and chill out)
Laziness or lack of drive to do anything
Rudeness to waiters/waitresses etc.
Impatience with children
Has friends of low character
Insecure
Lateness
Pushiness
Doesn't finish what they start.
Expects others to adapt, without being willing to make any concessions
Unwilling to seek advice
Moodiness

^ I'll copy fidelia and generate a formulate a general pro-con list.
YAY traits:
Openness
Honesty
Confidence
Energy
Friendliness/outgoingness
Smiling
Hugs
Affection
Depth
Wit
Well cultured/informed/educated
Intelligence
Creativity/uniqueness/strangeness
Diplomatic
Assertive
Not easily fazed
Logical
Constantly learning
Fun/Spontaneous
Mature
Initiates contact
Any positive qualities that counterbalance myself

Bad traits:
Tactless
Nitpicky
Pushy
Inconsiderate/rude
Can only see in black and white
Two-dimensional/shallow
Narrow-minded
Not willing to try new things
Manipulative
Controlling
Restrictive
Possessive
Insults/attacks others
Can’t handle conflict situations maturely/objectively
Bossy
Distant/cold
Disrespectful
Judgemental
People who think that they're better than me [can't we be equal, but different?]
Lack of common sense

I stole a few listed :cheese:

Turn-offs:
arrogance
dishonesty
lack of morals
hedonistic
violent & general disrespect for life
belligerent
stupidity
clingy/needy
cruel or vulgar humor
shallow
false flattery
general fakeness
manipulative / users
slow (mentally and physically)
misogynistic
overly critical / nitpicky
lack of vision
rudeness
boring
won't try new things
close-minded / won't listen to anyone
controlling / bossy
too into physical things (not enough mental/emotional side)
doesn't like or "get" art or intellectual things
overly passive
too aggressive
immature or acts like an old man
no ambition / lazy
stingy / overly frugal
annoyingly happy or annoyingly depressed all the time
game-playing

Turn-ons:
loyalty
honesty
intelligent
intellectual
witty
silly
playful
cultured
creative
affectionate (verbally & physically)
friendly and warm
confident
respects women
respect for life
can be spontaneous
takes the lead/initiative
quirky/offbeat
generous / giving
responsible
strong morals
spiritual
compassionate
kind
thoughtful
supportive
encouraging
emotional depth
straight-forward with intentions

^ If you move your scroll button up and down really fast, it's an awesome dizzying effect. The powa of such lists. :dry:
 

Willfrey

New member
Joined
Nov 9, 2008
Messages
615
MBTI Type
IsTP
That is quite a list, so to paraphrase...

Turn-ons: Positive Traits

Turn-offs: Negative Traits

Missing anything? :)
 

Fidelia

Iron Maiden
Staff member
Joined
May 31, 2009
Messages
14,497
MBTI Type
INFJ
Not really. That's why I asked him to be more specific.
 

entropie

Permabanned
Joined
Apr 24, 2008
Messages
16,767
MBTI Type
entp
Enneagram
783
Dislike:
Excessive bluntness - double check
Inflexibility - depends on the issue at hand
Wishy-washiness - dont understand
Inconsistency - check
No willingness to verbalize thought processes (at least enough that I can rest easy and chill out) - check
Laziness or lack of drive to do anything - check
Rudeness to waiters/waitresses etc. - check
Impatience with children - check
Has friends of low character - check
Insecure - check
Lateness - check
Pushiness - check
Doesn't finish what they start. - check
Expects others to adapt, without being willing to make any concessions - check
Unwilling to seek advice - depends on the person, giving, but in this case check
Moodiness - check

------------

Fidelia, I dont know what you think, but I am sure, we will never get together :)
 

Fidelia

Iron Maiden
Staff member
Joined
May 31, 2009
Messages
14,497
MBTI Type
INFJ
You're gf will be pleased to hear that, I'm sure, my dear Entropie!
 

2XtremeENFP

New member
Joined
Jul 23, 2008
Messages
446
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
3w4
Distinct traits that are related to personality type.

Uh.. did u want something like this? I'm only going to do Ts because in short, i don't find F dominating men attractive. I am too emotional myself and I need a logic rock in my life. -- So that's my immediate Turn-off.

INTJ
Good: Intelligent, SO intelligent, interesting ideas, independent
Bad: too independent, may live in their own world TOO much

ENTJ
Good: takes charge, confident, hard worker
Bad: controlling, manipulative

INTP
Good: intelligent, good discussions, fun to sit around with
Bad: lazy, arrogant, too shy

ENTP
Good: Witty, laidback, funny, intelligent, creative, Great use of Ne, charismatic, talkative, passion (need I got on :wubbie: )
Bad: Too many ups and downs, can be aggressive

ISTJ
Good: hard worker, dedicated, loyal, sensible, logical, honest, kind
Bad: too stuck in their ways, cant try new things, no depth, cant have fun 'N' talk

ESTJ
Good: Goal oriented, loyal, hard worker
Bad: Bleh, I cant put my finger on it. Just .. too 'normal'

ISTP
Good: fun, exciting, risk taker, handy repairman
Bad: too logical and emotionally detached

ESTP
Good: exciting, party guy, fun to be around, funny
Bad: untrustworthy

---
ENFP
Good:
Bad:

INFP
Good:
Bad:

ENFJ
Good:
Bad:

INFJ
Good:
Bad:

ESFJ
Good:
Bad:

ISFJ
Good:
Bad:

ESFP
Good:
Bad:

ISFP
Good:
Bad:
 
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