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Thread: NFs with NFs

  1. #71
    Professional Trickster Esoteric Wench's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wonkavision View Post
    Though some opposite qualities may be a good compliment, it seems that having similar preferences in certain areas is critical.

    I think N-N and S-S is extremely important. After that, I think that J-J and P-P may be pretty important. Not sure after that. Maybe the same temperament (NF-NF, SJ-SJ, NT-NT, and SP-SP). In any case, I think NF-NF is a good match, even with all the challenges that come with it.
    Yes. Yes. Yes. +1. The N-N and S-S is extremely important! I've come to believe this is MOST important for those of us with dominant perceiving preferences, be it Sensing or Intuiting.

    Types with Dominant Sensing or Dominant Intuition
    ISFJ / ISTJ / ESFP / ESTP / INFJ / INTJ / ENFP / ENTP

    These types experience the greatest communication gap with persons of the opposite perceiving preference. Point and case: Imagine an INFJ and ESFP dating? Egad! These types are on different planets.

    J with P can work well IF both partners are willing to view the other as having complementary skills. AND, if both partners are committed to minimizing their J or P excesses. Otherwise, the J with P thing is akin to banging one's head into a cement wall.

    I thought this post / thread was very insightful. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.


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    I can't believe how the author of this topic made me sound like barbie in her quote.

    Edited: I don't want to be that person out loud. I'm closet sensitive.

  3. #73
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    Quote Originally Posted by the state i am in View Post
    i think it works pretty well. it is but one way of grouping priorities, so it makes sense to use these as a guide to understand how you would relate to someone and have similar life goals.

    i prefer cognitive functions that i find desirable, agreeable, and complementary. i prefer N doms first and foremost in terms of sheer communicability, but i also have certain enneagram types who inspire me and i find attractive (7, 4, 5, and sometimes 6 and 9 work well for me too). nf is high on the priority list, anyone who doesn't have a strong desire for self-actualization is dead to me, but nt types often have this too- it just sometimes comes in a different package depending on enneagram defense. infps and intps are really viable mates for infj too, i find- enfj would be really tough, i can't imagine myself with enfj or entj.

    throughout the course of my life sparks have *almost* exclusively been with other nfs. a few other isfjs and sfps.
    You should post this to the NF Females' List of Deal Breakers!


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    Quote Originally Posted by Sytpg View Post
    They might show their pain in some forms but I know quite a few FJs that will never overtly complain about their situation. Yes, they can be very stoic from what I've experienced. I know plenty of FJs. In my core family alone there are at least 3.
    I've known a few stoic FJs. I think it also has to do with them not wanting to express themselves unless they are sure of how it's going to be received.

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    I posted earlier in this thread, and I didn't even reread it, but, I think I could be with an ENFJ, hypothetically.



    (It would be spicayyy, fo sho! )
    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

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    ^ Hahahahaa, I've been watching too much Frasier, although I don't find Frasier that attractive, he's so pathetic in a cute kind of way.
    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

    Ride si sapis

    Intelligentle sparkles

  7. #77
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    Quote Originally Posted by Esoteric Wench View Post
    Yes. Yes. Yes. +1. The N-N and S-S is extremely important! I've come to believe this is MOST important for those of us with dominant perceiving preferences, be it Sensing or Intuiting.

    Types with Dominant Sensing or Dominant Intuition
    ISFJ / ISTJ / ESFP / ESTP / INFJ / INTJ / ENFP / ENTP

    These types experience the greatest communication gap with persons of the opposite perceiving preference. Point and case: Imagine an INFJ and ESFP dating? Egad! These types are on different planets.

    J with P can work well IF both partners are willing to view the other as having complementary skills. AND, if both partners are committed to minimizing their J or P excesses. Otherwise, the J with P thing is akin to banging one's head into a cement wall.

    I thought this post / thread was very insightful. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

    I agree with this. I've always been attracted to and have the best romantic relationships with a fellow P. I'm also a believer of the N-N relationship, though I haven't had long-term romantic relationships with Ns. I have very good friends (life-long) with Ns, though. I've often wondered why I've fallen in love, hard, a few times with NFs, and why, instead of becoming lovers, they instead became my beloved friends. I don't love them less that we weren't lovers but I know that to know another N as more than friend would be so good for me. Well, one did become more than friend for a few weeks--I never forgot him. A shared imagination and love of the potential, the romantic, the unseen, the abstract, is wonderful.

  8. #78
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    PS--I definitely fit the description of Emphathist as it applies to relationships (posted by Wonkavision). I can relate to most of that. I don't expect a partner to feel the way that I do about a relationship because, in my experience, men who feel similarly don't come along that often. I know that I'll bring that emphathist quality to the relationship while understanding it may be appreciated by my partner, if not fully understood. The trouble begins when an NF gives too much in a relationship because they are following their ideals, and a partner takes them for granted. With NF-NF, you both want to give to one another and look for ways to make the other person feel good. It's a relationship of increase.

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    [youtube="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4pXfHLUlZf4&feature=channel"]Mating Style[/youtube]

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    As someine in a real-life NF+NF relationship I consider it my privilege to contribute here

    Oh my GOSH I never thought I'd say this but pleeeease baby could you me a tiny bit more aware of your surroundings for five seconds. Contrary to how you make it seem, it's not that hard to find your way using a map. Get yourself some new shoes.

    I think it was mentioned here somewhere, but I can't find it now: NF+NF can get a bit too much sometimes and then one of them compensates by going ST on the other one. This may also have to do with the theory that ENFPs will become nasty immature ISTJs when under pressure.

    He is still the man of my dreams, but I'm just more aware of our mutual shortcomings now and sometimes they drive me up the wall.

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