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Thread: NFs with NFs

  1. #21
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SheWaits View Post
    They're wonderful people. I just get worn out after awhile. It would be refreshing to have a relationship with someone who is more of a giver than a taker for a change.
    Are you implying that INFPs are takers?

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  2. #22
    Junior Member SheWaits's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SillySapienne View Post
    Are you implying that INFPs are takers?

    Not a global reference that all INFPs are takers. The people I've encountered who are high in Fi drain my resources. Like, having to clarify everything I say to make sure I don't hurt their feelings, and assuring them I didn't say one thing but really mean another.

    Like I said, they're wonderful people...but they wear me out after awhile.
    "Idealists expect to discover a deeper meaning in almost everything, as profound truths can be extrapolated from even the most transparent of subjects. We would do well to realize, though, that some things are exactly what they seem." ~Myself

  3. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by SheWaits View Post
    Not a global reference that all INFPs are takers. The people I've encountered who are high in Fi drain my resources. Like, having to clarify everything I say to make sure I don't hurt their feelings, and assuring them I didn't say one thing but really mean another.

    Like I said, they're wonderful people...but they wear me out after awhile.
    I get that, we have a need to understand people, especially those who are close to us, their feelings, their thoughts, their intentions, their worries, their desires, etc.

    But, when and if we love you, we love so freely and deeply.

    I can't recall a single relationship I've been in where I have been the taker.

    If anything, the absolute opposite is true.

    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

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  4. #24
    Junior Member SheWaits's Avatar
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    My son is INFP, so I understand the warmth, genuine concern, good will, and giving nature of INFPs. He's the apple of my eye, and we understand each other very well. Would never want to give the impression that they are "takers." I could have worded the earlier post a little differently.

    The two long relationships I've had with high Fi people were all about them. I found that I was the one who always thought of their needs and they were only too happy to let me cater to them...it was mostly a one-way street. For once, I would love to feel treasured and be treated like fine China. Not all the time, and not excessively so...I'm just a girl that's never been pampered or felt protected. That would be nice for a change.
    "Idealists expect to discover a deeper meaning in almost everything, as profound truths can be extrapolated from even the most transparent of subjects. We would do well to realize, though, that some things are exactly what they seem." ~Myself

  5. #25
    I drink your milkshake. Thessaly's Avatar
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    1. NFs, have you been with other NFs?


    .....If so, does this description ring true to you?


    My current BF is an ENFP, my last ENFJ and before that INFJ. I am an NF addict. It is all pretty spot on.


    2. If you are an NF currently in a relationship with another NF, how is it going?

    .....What, if any, are the main issues you struggle with?

    .....Any tips for other NFs with NFs?


    I struggle with, and always struggle with, a conflict in values. There is no deterring NFs from adhering to their often ridiculous values. Often their only use for logic is in twisting it to advance their crap.

    Advice? Despite the massive quantities of communication NFs always have with one another they still tend to leave crucial info out of conversation for whatever reason. It's important to make sure you communicate the stuff that really matters and articulately because NFs have wild imaginations and can fill in gaps in the most bizarre sense.

  6. #26
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SheWaits View Post
    The two long relationships I've had with high Fi people were all about them. I found that I was the one who always thought of their needs and they were only too happy to let me cater to them...it was mostly a one-way street. For once, I would love to feel treasured and be treated like fine China. Not all the time, and not excessively so...I'm just a girl that's never been pampered or felt protected. That would be nice for a change.
    That's too bad!!!

    And, I feel you, sister!

    Women need to feel as though their partners are not just self-obsessed assholes.

    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

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    Intelligentle sparkles

  7. #27
    I drink your milkshake. Thessaly's Avatar
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    Yeah, my ENFP has incredibly high Fi and that is a contention in our relationship. We both need to be emotionally soothed and I appear to be the only one with developed Fe.

  8. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wonkavision View Post
    1. NFs, have you been with other NFs?
    I tend to date other NFs. I'm drawn to other feelers for romance. Fi is like CRACK. I seriously keep on falling for INFPs (who are always sooo cute but immature or "dealing with problems") I don't know what's wrong with me - and no I'm not trying to 'fix' people!

    Also, the Ni/Fe combo can be really magnetic to me. Two of the most affectionate and warmest people I have known (and dated) were an INFP and an INFJ respectively.

    I know there is a lot of of NT/NF mutual attraction from the boards, but I would not want to date an NT. I have a lot of NT friends and have been involved with an INTP before.

    Based on my friendships and past experience - it's not what I want in a romantic relationship.

    For me NF/NF is not too much, at all. I like muchly the warmth of Fe as well as the curious nature of Fi (it's gooey inside a cold prickly contrarian exterior! LOL)

    .....If so, does this description ring true to you?
    That was a too long description. And kinda depressing. But yes, basically it can be passionate but also tumultuous. I find that when dating more sensitive and needy NFs, I turn into the "bad cop" emotionally but as far as practical matters the other person takes the lead more.

    Also, when you feel you know someone well (because they are so similar to you) you can feel greater frustration with them and have less patience with them.

    I find with INFJs moreso than ENFPs it takes a while to get a rhythm going or get through that Fe wall? I dunno what it is. All I know is that I had to stop dating this INFJ to establish an emotional connection with her and start dating again.

    INFJs are very similar to INTJs when you are just getting to know them.

    2. If you are an NF currently in a relationship with another NF, how is it going?

    .....What, if any, are the main issues you struggle with?

    .....Any tips for other NFs with NFs?
    Man, if you are ENFP or INFP and you think someone ELSE is overly sensitive - something's wrong! I tend to think the INFPs I date are extremely sensitive. INFJs overthink things.

    The most important thing for two NFs dating is to be very very honest and forthcoming. INFPs especially have a tendency to withdraw or put up with things that they don't like and only tell you much later. Fi makes you withdraw when you are hurt and if this happens to often soon the relationship has just gone to hell and it takes a lot of work to bring it back.

    There is a lot of "processing" with an NF-NF pairing. Sometimes too much (I know this and the above paragraph seem to contradict each other). The overthinking just kills things and makes problems worse. NFs need to take a step back, breathe, and either learn to just enjoy each other's company or else let go.

    3. If you're curious about the NF-NF pairing, does this description help you at all?
    Not really...I just say it's "like crack". Much better description. And shorter, too.

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  9. #29
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SheWaits View Post
    My son is INFP, so I understand the warmth, genuine concern, good will, and giving nature of INFPs. He's the apple of my eye, and we understand each other very well. Would never want to give the impression that they are "takers." I could have worded the earlier post a little differently.

    The two long relationships I've had with high Fi people were all about them. I found that I was the one who always thought of their needs and they were only too happy to let me cater to them...it was mostly a one-way street. For once, I would love to feel treasured and be treated like fine China. Not all the time, and not excessively so...I'm just a girl that's never been pampered or felt protected. That would be nice for a change.
    You reap what you sow. This is an issue I have with Fe types. Don't sacrifice yourself expecting something in return. And voice your needs, instead of acting like stoic caregivers or something...


    (no I have never dated an FJ, but I see a pattern in FJs not feeling appreciated)

  10. #30
    Senior Member Silent Stars's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SheWaits View Post
    Not a global reference that all INFPs are takers. The people I've encountered who are high in Fi drain my resources. Like, having to clarify everything I say to make sure I don't hurt their feelings, and assuring them I didn't say one thing but really mean another.

    Like I said, they're wonderful people...but they wear me out after awhile.
    That happened with my INFP girlfriend for a while, but eventually she trusted me completely, and then all of that stuff stopped. Those times were very rocky and dramatic, but it was more than worth the effort; helping her to feel totally secure in our relationship has been one of the best things I've done in my life, especially in how it's helped her with her views on life in general and enabling her to be more open with others.
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