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Thread: NFs with NFs

  1. #11
    Senior Member Hexis's Avatar
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    I have tried this a couple of times and from the little i read of the description its fairly accurate. However the problems comes from being exactly what we are, beings who entire life philosophy is based and built on a few highly guarded values. When these values clash, their is no hope. End of story.

    So if your interested in pairing up with another NF be sure before you do so that you know them well enough that your values wont clash...ever.
    SDMF

  2. #12
    Junior Member feckn_eejit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hexis View Post
    So if your interested in pairing up with another NF be sure before you do so that you know them well enough that your values wont clash...ever.
    yup!
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  3. #13
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    Hmm...reading that description actually kinda nauseated me.

    But, then, I tend to have preferences for NT men, and more of what I consider a complementary dynamic. NF/NF is almost too much, for me. An excess of feeling; I'd like more of a balance I guess.

    I have been in a relationship with an unhealthy ENFP, and with an ENFJ. The relationship with the ENFP was not positive, but that was perhaps mostly due to him not being the healthiest of individuals, and my not knowing enough about myself at that time and asserting my own needs. I also think there was a pretty marked issue with the differing Fi/Fe preference between the two of us, and that caused some problems I think. (I didn't know about cog functions back then, but in hindsight I think Fi/Fe caused big misunderstandings/distrust). The relationship with the ENFJ was fine, although it seemed quite slanted towards being more platonic in nature, and lacked any real passion; we both nurtured and healed one another, in a way, but our personalities were too similar for my liking - for longterm compatibility/growth. In terms of how I'd like relationship dynamics to be and how I see myself best able to grow as a person. I personally would like a little bit more of a contrast and different perspective. I don't feel the ENFJ and I would have pushed or challenged each other enough. It would be like two therapists dating each other - constant assurance/support, yes, but I would like someone who has a different set of strengths than I, such that strengths don't overlap but rather complement, and weaknesses don't overlap either.
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  4. #14
    Senior Member Silent Stars's Avatar
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    I'm with an Enneagram 4w3 INFP girl, and that's pretty much how we are. There have been many times where she has seen me as hurtful and whatnot (my F preference is very slight), though the more times she really opened up to me, the more we got to understand each other better, and at this point it doesn't happen any more [her saying I'm being rude/hurtful/insisting that I don't care/etc.].

    She's extremely sensitive and has had a lot of problems with trust and paranoia (which is understandable considering the things she's been through), though now she's stopped being paranoid about our relationship and trusts me fully.

    She's also much more sensor-ish than I am, though I think a lot of this is due to the fact that she doesn't have very much in her life to engage her Ne (We're working on changing this cause she's getting into more art classes and photography.), which ends up with her falling back on tertiary Si, which is not a good thing because she's had very bad experiences in the past (to the point where she even has post-traumatic stress disorder), and it's been very difficult to get her to not base how she views everything on that. When there's nothing to engage her Ne and keep her mind occupied, she often ends up getting caught in a depressive, self-destructive cycle that's really hard to help her out of.

    She's extremely artistically creative and can be surprisingly spontaneous, but she's not particularly intellectual (kinda breaks the stereotype that all intuitives are intellectual, haha), whereas I'm completely the opposite, but this hasn't caused any problems at all, and it actually works quite well for us.

    We have a lot of differences, but quite a lot in common too in how we think and feel about things (our "base," I guess you could call it), so we compliment perfectly and are able to help each other grow.

    Considering that we've only been together for not quite five months, we've made a remarkable amount of progress, and we're completely committed to each other as well.
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  5. #15
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    I recently tried to go out for drinks with an ENFP guy I work with.

    I have been friends with him for a long time. I comforted him awhile back when he was with some sort of thinker chick who kept yelling at him for crying. At that point in time I could establish a real Fi connection on a friendship level as I understood how he was feeling and I knew exactly what he needed.

    However at the last minute, when it came to a date, I decided not to go. I cant "think" with him. I cant have intellectual debates and discussions and-good god this sounds horrible-he was too sensitive. I would end up hurting him as I am too direct and mean. Also the Fi connection-it made me feel like I was choking a bit. It felt entrapping.

    I chatted a bit with an INFJ friend once-(friends only, as he is married). He says I need to date a strong man who would make me feel like a woman. After giving myself about five seconds to get over wanting to bitch slap his sexist ass, I realized he is picking up on something real. In his mind he sees Fe shades of feminine behavior, however reframing to Fi , I can only trust Fi to someone who is strong enough to protect it. However I also want someone who I can go head to head intellectually with, ie Te.

    INFPs I offend, ENFJs and I are like aliens to each other, INFJs I like but the Fe misunderstandings may be problematic. So I dont think NFs would be ideal honestly.

  6. #16
    Senior Member Chunes's Avatar
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    I'm in a relationship with an INFJ and it's every bit as smokin' as the description in the OP reads. It's not even really about avoiding clashing values; we are both so empathetic to the other that we share each other's values for all practical purposes. It's wonderful because we both understand that love is literally understanding. The more I come to understand her, the more I love her. It doesn't really have anything to do with whether I agree with her or not; I find it impossible to hate someone whom I deeply understand.

    To drift apart is merely the lack of desire to understand. And it may seem like the more you understand in your partner, the more you take for granted, but I just don't see it like that. That's a thinly veiled way of saying "I know you." It's lazy. People constantly change. If you constantly keep this empathy stream open between the two of you, the love only grows the longer you're together. Only problem with that is, it takes two willing, hardworking people to maintain this conduit, but it's so worth it. My heart aches for these willing souls who do not have a willing partner, or once had.
    "If you would convince a man that he does wrong, do right. But do not care to convince him. Men will believe what they see. Let them see."
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  7. #17
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    I think I have always fantasized about NF men, ever since I was a young girl.

    But, since my father was such a hardcore T, (an INTP to be exact), I repeatedly find myself attracted to T men.

    Maybe one day I will stop this madness and do that whole contrary action thing, and find a brilliant INFP zoologist or architect to whisk me off my feet!

    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

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  8. #18
    Junior Member SheWaits's Avatar
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    For me, I think the ideal match would be NF with Fe, so another INFJ or an ENFJ. The other two NFs are Fi, and I can envision my face melting off my skull after awhile. No more men who are high Fi or Se. Love them like brothers, but I don't want them as partners.
    "Idealists expect to discover a deeper meaning in almost everything, as profound truths can be extrapolated from even the most transparent of subjects. We would do well to realize, though, that some things are exactly what they seem." ~Myself

  9. #19
    Senior Member TopherRed's Avatar
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    The one INFP I dated was dripping with Fi. Drove me crazy. The cutesy-cutesy-key-UTSY! crap all the time drove me bonkers. I still couldn't help being drawn to her though...lake a moth to an open flame.
    Love is the point.

  10. #20
    Junior Member SheWaits's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fuzzcrossed View Post
    The one INFP I dated was dripping with Fi. Drove me crazy. The cutesy-cutesy-key-UTSY! crap all the time drove me bonkers. I still couldn't help being drawn to her though...lake a moth to an open flame.
    They're wonderful people. I just get worn out after awhile. It would be refreshing to have a relationship with someone who is more of a giver than a taker for a change.
    "Idealists expect to discover a deeper meaning in almost everything, as profound truths can be extrapolated from even the most transparent of subjects. We would do well to realize, though, that some things are exactly what they seem." ~Myself

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