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  1. #21
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    I still advocate INFP-enfj relations but only when infp wises up, then not only do they see the extreme inner-beauty but can also handle it equally and not be overwhelmed, then the ENFJ can calm down into enfj, see the inner infp and be putty for the INFP. I think one day I'll write a how to mature an infp into an INFP.

  2. #22
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jtanSis1 View Post
    I still advocate INFP-enfj relations but only when infp wises up, then not only do they see the extreme inner-beauty but can also handle it equally and not be overwhelmed, then the ENFJ can calm down into enfj, see the inner infp and be putty for the INFP. I think one day I'll write a how to mature an infp into an INFP.
    I personally don't need anyone to calm me down. I need someone to roll with me.
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

  3. #23
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    I think I could make it work with one. But the fact that I have a very moderate E and J helps. They would be able to expand my point of view. And they fall hard when they fall, just like me. We could both be frighteningly committed to each other. They could help me be more social when I feel like I'm alone in a crowded room. She would be my angel, saving me every time it feels like life has given me too much to handle. She might even be my shoulder to cry on one day. She would be strong, of will and character. I'm looking for nothing less than perfect, 'till death (fuck that, my love is forever), sacrifice my life for you love.


    I can do so much in return. I would be as honest with her as I am with myself. I would listen to everything she had to say every time. I would want nothing less than her telling me everything. She would be my queen. The only one who I have to listen to. I would be her rock, unflinching, unrelenting, adoring. I could give her advice on all things logic. I would be her knight, I could protect her from anything. I would love her more than I love myself. I would make her laugh. I could tell her everything thats going on in the world. I could tell her all about a ton of things she's never heard of. I would make her feel like a kid again. We would be two old souls that rediscovered their inner child together. We would be adventurous. We would travel the world together, I will earn the money to do it. I am passionate about justice, it's my life's calling. The first day i sat in orientation at law school I realized that this is what I want to do for the rest of my life. I'm more idealistic than materialistic. I will have the option to take a (VERY) lucrative job in the private sector, or pursue my dream of pursuing justice as a state and federal prosecutor, and I will choose to pursue justice. I have an internship with a Federal Circuit Court Judge over Christmas. I am going to go into politics. Because of this, I need a good host. My sister's boyfriend's father is a state senator in Georgia (my mom thinks this BF is going to be the one). I was born into wealth, but I would not see a penny of it if I didn't work my ass off to make something of myself in law school. I will always do my best to remain in my best shape for you. I currently train MMA 4 days a week, and play tennis on fridays. We could discover all the foods, cultures, beaches, mountains, lakes, and escapes of the world together. I will work on myself for you. I am self aware and am currently having impressive success growing into a more balanced human being (I just need a light to shine the path). I believe in God.

    EDIT: I tango in the bedroom with a deft touch.

    I'm waiting for this girl.

    Maybe one day, I'll find her...

  4. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    I personally don't need anyone to calm me down. I need someone to roll with me.
    I forgot that people don't like that phrase but that's what I meant.

  5. #25
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jtanSis1 View Post
    I forgot that people don't like that phrase but that's what I meant.
    I've said this before...I think ENFJ male and INFP female works very well. The only INFPs I know are women; they're my friends, I think they're great, but no. I don't know any INFP males that I recognize as being INFP.

    Once again, it's really up to individual preference. A number of ENFJs and INFPs on the forum say this pairing works and I can see it working. I personally don't do dreamy people, people less attentive to reality or someone I need to continually coax to open up. I don't feel like that's my responsibility to do and I'm more likely to just walk away than pursue. Five years ago I would've started trying to crack the nut open but not so anymore. It feels lopsided to me.
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

  6. #26
    Senior Member Drezoryx's Avatar
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    ^ my vote for for an infp! the only one i know IRL is my cousin and shes married!! eeeks but they're quite attractive
    Type 8 sx/sp/so
    O:C:E:A:N :: 65:69:59:57:9

  7. #27
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    I personally don't need anyone to calm me down. I need someone to roll with me.
    I think you just need someone that can put you in your place.

    .... KIDDING!!! *quickly runs off*

  8. #28
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    What I posted before may also apply to INFJ's.

  9. #29
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Heinel View Post
    What do you mean by "get?" I think having someone who's a complete opposite could be exciting for an ISTP (at least for awhile), but what is in it for the ENFJ?
    It's supremely difficult to describe the sort of kismet I've experienced with certain ISTPs. I shall attempt it at any rate...

    My best friend for years was a male ISTP and we hardly ever fought. When we did fall out, it felt so bad that we'd both be a wreck and would get the disagreement over with as fast as humanly possible. We'd talk about literally everything from politics to religion to books, hot rod cars and race together, he wasn't even remotely afraid of me and my Fe volcano. He'd write me notes and leave them under the wipers of my car when we weren't together. I'd steal his car and go to lunch. He didn't care. He willed her to me, in fact, and she was his prized possession. She meant the same thing to me as she did to him. He was there to scrape me off the ceiling and hold on to me until I got calm when being hideously sick and in pain finally drove me to the breaking point. Things like that. It was grounding and it was safe. He'd walk through fire for me, mostly because he knew I'd never ask him to. It was a relief to not be treated like a ticking time bomb.

    I was in a relationship with an IsTP, was deeply in love with him and it was mutual, but he was a drug addict. End of story, I guess.

    It's not every ISTP (though I get along with 99% of them). I tend to fall in with the "high neurotics" -- strong Ti and extremely assertive (and frequently punishing) tertiary Ni.

    I also find communicating with ENFJs difficult, but then it could just be my sister...
    A word to the wise: Never use your family members as a template or base for judgment in romantic relationships.

    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    I personally don't need anyone to calm me down. I need someone to roll with me.
    Oh how I need that...

    I've had some positive experiences with just a few INTP males (and about a million of the girls I'd love to be boys!) and they were all married. *shrug* That's no good. The one INTP bf I had was a disaster because he was a severe control freak, extremely jealous and condescended to me on a regular basis. He criticized me so much I felt ugly around him. That, to me, is a personal problem, not a whole type problem. I have difficulty warming up to the general anti-social bent they have too. ENTPs, even when maladjusted, are social animals, and I feel more relaxed around them.

    Not to say that I haven't felt a strong pull towards INTPs before because I have. Ti-primaries (and Ne-Ti for the ENTPs) is incredibly attractive to me.

    Quote Originally Posted by Udog View Post
    I think you just need someone that can put you in your place.

    .... KIDDING!!! *quickly runs off*
    You wanna go, big boy?? *slaps hands together* C'mere! Lemme hug your neck!
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  10. #30
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    I personally don't need anyone to calm me down. I need someone to roll with me.
    This seems to summarize E__Js quite well. This is exactly how my mom is, she's an ENFJ and she can deal with an incredible amount of things going on at once, and just wants someone to support her in her life.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

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