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  1. #11
    Junior Member feckn_eejit's Avatar
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    edit: oops posted to wrong topic! okay it was sort of topical but not perfectly fitted! all i know is i was wrong for one ENFJ.....
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  2. #12
    Senior Member Heinel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    ISTPs "get" me. Nuff said.
    What do you mean by "get?" I think having someone who's a complete opposite could be exciting for an ISTP (at least for awhile), but what is in it for the ENFJ?

    I also find communicating with ENFJs difficult, but then it could just be my sister...
    Check out my blog: http://OrnateRitual.com

  3. #13
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    I could be wrong but ENFJ - INTJ looks like good match if both sides are accepting enough. Which is because they are quite different but they use same approach (Ni).
    What means that they balance each other quite well. Especially since ENFJ tends to work with people while INTJ solves more imperesonal problems in the background.
    Also they are both Js so they will not annoy each other if they have similar/same goals.

    (just a thought)

  4. #14
    Senior Member TopherRed's Avatar
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    I've been thinking along the same lines lately...I'm pretty sure the only NF I could stand would be the INFJ (at the moment), at least until an INFP comes round with similar views and a very mature attitude (yeah right...not unless they're at least thirty and are willing to trust my side of the iNtuition). Though I don't think one can go wrong with an INFJ, and she'd be best suited to me and my goals...and just the right level of cutesy without being extraordinarily annoying.

    Plus, just look at that type comparison:
    ENFJ INFJ
    Fe Ni
    Ni Fe
    Se Ti
    Ti Se

    So long as we don't collapse on each other, that seems like a provocative relationship where we're constantly helping each other to develop. Or a rather nitpicky one where we're co-dependent--either way.


    As far as the NTs go, right now I'd take on both introverts, but I don't the the INTP would truly be amable enough to me until at least 30 as well. *shrug* Se la ve, as they say, just don't stick me with any big Si.
    Love is the point.

  5. #15
    Senior Member Keps Mnemnosyne's Avatar
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    I would suggest rethinking the INFJ Fuzzcrossed. For me I see the worst and best of myself in ENFJs, and although friendships I would easily do, I don't think I would date an ENFJ (if you had to pick someone solely on type I would not do it, I would date any girl regardless of type if I liked her). I am not trying to be mean to ENFJs, I think that you, Fuzzcrossed, if you looked at INFJ's would also see the worst and best of yourself in them.
    Love wouldn't exist without loneliness to inspire it.

    Peach yogurt is made of love. And gnome kidneys. - Domino

    I can cope and will cope without polluting my lungs. - Saslou

  6. #16
    Senior Member LostInNerSpace's Avatar
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    There is no one best type. Depends on the individual.

  7. #17
    Senior Member Silly_Siren's Avatar
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    I cast my vote as ISTP, if I had to pick one.

    My mother is an ENFJ and my dad is an ISTP. They fight a lot, and my ISTP father was a bit more balanced when they married (He was 41 and she was 28, so now he's pretty ancient), but it's a good marriage. The problems occur when he gets restless and insensitive or she gets a bit too controlling. But I find they balance each other out nice. In best cases, he's the engine and she's the steering wheel.

    Also, I find ENFJ's generally aren't as attracted to INTP's, but then again I only know a few ENFJ's.
    =universal solution

  8. #18
    Senior Member groovejet02's Avatar
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    INTP ..............!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  9. #19
    Senior Member tibby's Avatar
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    My ENFJ mom has been with who I believe is an INFP for some time now, and it seems to be going very well for them both. He is just absolutely everything I'd ever imagine my mom being balanced with in a relationship so harmoniously. I don't know about best types, but he must be doing something right - I think I could say he "tames" her in all every way and my mom on the other hand has captivated and disarmed him. She has so much energy - so much passion and outward intensity - I guess he has this calming effect and also this kind of antenna in which she can direct all of it or a lot of it in a very positive and healthy way.

  10. #20
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Silly_Siren View Post
    I cast my vote as ISTP, if I had to pick one.

    My mother is an ENFJ and my dad is an ISTP. They fight a lot, and my ISTP father was a bit more balanced when they married (He was 41 and she was 28, so now he's pretty ancient), but it's a good marriage. The problems occur when he gets restless and insensitive or she gets a bit too controlling. But I find they balance each other out nice. In best cases, he's the engine and she's the steering wheel.

    Also, I find ENFJ's generally aren't as attracted to INTP's, but then again I only know a few ENFJ's.
    Yes. Even though I don't advocate using type to screen romantic interests, people have got to remember that the mythic and fabled INxJ/ENxP relationship (and ESxP/ISxJ) does not create the same type of reactions as ExFJ/IxTP (and ExTJ/IxFP). Dom perceivers getting together don't have each others opposite inferior function to deal with unless it's ENxP and ISxJ and INxJ and ESxP.

    Dom Fe and Dom Ti interacting often requires a maturity or rather positive interaction with each others inferior so that it doesn't rattle and jar each other. If I use these forums to judge, I know that I prefer the INTPs that are older typically 30+ and the younger ones I sometimes just want to dash to pieces.

    If ENFJs and IxTPs do embark in a relationship together, I think ISTP /ENFJ fares better than INTP/ENFJ. I think this depends actually on the ENFJ's function strength rather than the INTP's. If an ENFJ has a pretty strong Fe-Se loop then I think ISTP will be more appealing because there will be a greater desire for physical action, impact, and movement that the ISTP can provide. ISTPs get The Itch and so does the ENFJ and I feel like an ISTP naturally knows how to fend off an ENFJ if they get out of control better than an INTP. Honestly, INTPs seem to wilt after awhile. If you have an ENFJ with weaker Se and reasonable toleration of Ti then the INTP will look more appealing. Ne often doesn't really need to do anything and if the INTP has stronger tertiary Si they tend to be more comfortable exploring settled routines and familiar patterns while the ENFJ eventually needs to start roaming.

    ExTPs and ENFJs don't seem to interrupt each other as badly either. I have a very strong respect for TJs because I get the structure of extroverted judgment even if it can sometimes seem harsh to me. It's so funny, in my department at work we have one TJ and the lack of Te (tertiary and inferior of FPs and shadow FJ and TP) is very apparent. There is absolutely no structure except for Feeling structure with Fe being more apparent because it's extroverted but Fi being equally manifest even if not as conspicuous. So well have all the FJs and even the TPs feeling something's amiss and reacting to that and the FPs walking around as if nothing is going on but emitting rather strong waves.

    I'd also like to add the ASO's observation has worked well for me. Two of my best friends are INTJs and we get along better than what is often reported on the MBTI forums. I do notice they tend to go for FPs and that often ends in blistering infernos but whatever.
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

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