• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

[INFP] Are INFPs Easy to Pick on?

INTP

Active member
Joined
Jul 31, 2009
Messages
7,803
MBTI Type
intp
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx
You are gonna get reamed on this one. I'll just let the INFPs do it.

Haha, bring it on :D

But soon ill get some sleep, its allready 4am here
 

Udog

Seriously Delirious
Joined
Aug 2, 2008
Messages
5,290
MBTI Type
INfp
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
In meny aspects, so meny that i cba to list them all. But theyr easy to pick on to person who wants to pick on to someone.

You are gonna get reamed on this one. I'll just let the INFPs do it.

One of the reasons we are easy to pick on is because we don't go for the finishing blow, even when it's right there for the taking.

Instead, I'll just point out this guy is trying to prove that we are easy to pick by well, picking on us using empty, unsubstantiated claims. If we get upset, we sort of prove his point. So I think it'll be more worthwhile to me to go off and play Scrabble with my cat.
 

Biaxident

Charting a course
Joined
Jan 10, 2009
Messages
3,617
MBTI Type
INFP
Hah! I KNEW you people couldn't be as innocent as you looked! Every INTJ on earth will now be informed of your duplicitous natures. Be prepared for your inevitable destruction!

:hi:

Hehehe...

It only happens to people who deserve it.

:)
 

OrangeAppled

Sugar Hiccup
Joined
Mar 20, 2009
Messages
7,626
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
When I first met my INFP friend, I used to joke around and poke fun at her all the time. See, I have the problem of assuming that everyone likes to play joke/make-fun of each other for fun like I do. This wasn't the case with the INFP. At first she would play along a little and give a sad sort of laugh of reluctance, but then after a while she'd do the stare tactic or the complete ignore, so I cut back. More recently, however, she'd give a perfectly calm and serious defense of the behavior I was mocking, which is just no fun at all.

In any case, though, it would only be fun if I completely outraged her, because otherwise she isn't the type that strikes back to keep the banter going.

I like banter! As long as it's playful and not mean-spirited. There's a line of course, but most people know that.

I can get very mean if I'm not amused though, so it's better for me to glare than to snap back. I've really hurt people's feelings - except an INFP probably knows when they are hurting feelings, whereas NTs get to claim ignorance. :devil:
 

Biaxident

Charting a course
Joined
Jan 10, 2009
Messages
3,617
MBTI Type
INFP
I like banter! As long as it's playful and not mean-spirited. There's a line of course, but most people know that.

I can get very mean if I'm not amused though, so it's better for me to glare than to snap back. I've really hurt people's feelings - except an INFP probably knows when they are hurting feelings, whereas NTs get to claim ignorance. :devil:


Banter is good.

I have hurt peoples feelings, deliberately. Because they deserved it for treating someone badly. And I have also done it unintentionally, for which I immediately apologize.

Plus, I have the added bonus of being able to turn them into a nice puddle on the floor if they push me too hard.

Though it seldom gets that far, and hasn't for a long time.
 

Orangey

Blah
Joined
Jun 26, 2008
Messages
6,354
MBTI Type
ESTP
Enneagram
6w5
I like banter! As long as it's playful and not mean-spirited. There's a line of course, but most people know that.

I can get very mean if I'm not amused though, so it's better for me to glare than to snap back. I've really hurt people's feelings - except an INFP probably knows when they are hurting feelings, whereas NTs get to claim ignorance. :devil:

Maybe she's a little more sensitive than you are, but she doesn't like banter that's directed at her. She likes the normal kind of banter, where we make fun of someone else (although she has her limits here, whereas I fear I probably cross into her "malicious" category) or something else. She just doesn't take it well if I make fun of her, which I did often because she is so earnest about everything.
 

William K

Uniqueorn
Joined
Aug 13, 2009
Messages
986
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
Maybe she's a little more sensitive than you are, but she doesn't like banter that's directed at her. She likes the normal kind of banter, where we make fun of someone else (although she has her limits here, whereas I fear I probably cross into her "malicious" category) or something else. She just doesn't take it well if I make fun of her, which I did often because she is so earnest about everything.

I think the thing to remember is that INFPs are easygoing on many things because we don't care enough about them, but the things that we are passionate about, we invest our hearts into it because we used our Fi to make that decision. She may be earnest, but I doubt she is the type to just decide to start something on a whim. So if you "attack" her hobbies/causes/favourite singer, she will feel that you are attacking her values deep down inside her.
 

Udog

Seriously Delirious
Joined
Aug 2, 2008
Messages
5,290
MBTI Type
INfp
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Maybe she's a little more sensitive than you are, but she doesn't like banter that's directed at her. She likes the normal kind of banter, where we make fun of someone else (although she has her limits here, whereas I fear I probably cross into her "malicious" category) or something else. She just doesn't take it well if I make fun of her, which I did often because she is so earnest about everything.

If she can joke other people, but gets upset when she is joked, it's likely she deserves whatever teasing you give her. (As long as you don't go too far. No need to cause damage.)
 

Hands Mechanical

New member
Joined
Oct 6, 2009
Messages
42
MBTI Type
INFP
I got picked on some as a kid, but also did my own share of picking on others and generally participating in the immature douchebaggery of the times...

I don't think I'm easy to pick on though, I defend myself pretty readily and get pretty fiery when I feel like I'm being condescended to or made fun of. That's not to say I'm easy to provoke, but if I feel someone is clearly out of line and offensive in their behavior towards me, I don't back down or ignore it. I'd rather get in a confrontation than have other people see me getting demeaned or humiliated by some asshat and just taking it.

Usually this works out well because when I get self-righteously indignant I spew caustic phrases and vitriol from every orifice.

This is learned behavior though, my natural response to being picked on is displeasure and avoidance. I think INFPs are certainly more prone to getting messed with. We feel the sting of other people's wanton cruelty more readily and deeply than most other types, and when that's combined with the tendency to avoid and ignore negative emotional factors and agents in our life, it makes it pretty easy for us to get picked on.
 

ayoitsStepho

Twerking & Lurking
Joined
Sep 20, 2009
Messages
4,838
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
right on :). It's hard as i've been there, but you can achieve that will power
with practice :hug:.

Peacebaby indeed you are wise and very articulate :).

ok, i swear. every INFP i know says 'right on'
xD
 

Hazle Weatherfield

New member
Joined
Mar 5, 2009
Messages
62
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w4
I don't know why, but there's something about my appearance that says "pick on me". Ever since I was a wee lad, I have been pestered by random children. Even now that I am an adult, my friends think I am "easy to mess with". :steam: Furthermore, it seems that I am a primary target for those who want to borrow money (and never give it back).

Why is this? Do INFPs have some "essence" about them that indicates that we're door mats for other people? What can I do to fix my dilemma without sacrificing my "kind" exterior?

I want to keep my integrity, and I love helping those who ask for it; particularly in the academic arenas. Working to communicate with others in order to help them learn is ecstasy . :)

I don't have any great advice, but I do have a story. I have three older siblings and when I was younger, they liked to tease me. Not because they were mean people or because they wanted to hurt me, but because they were entertained by my responses! Yes, I believe they were entertained because whenever I would respond by getting upset and "attacking" back they thought it soooo hilarious to get me riled up and would continue to do that. However, I did end up, at different intervals, throwing a science textbook at my sister's head and cut her lip open, throwing a fork in my sister's general direction but with no intent to harm her, swinging my baton (i was taking twirling lessons) full force into my bedroom door leaving a hole (i was very remorseful) because my brother pissed me off, and running away on a number of occasions always after I yelled "my own family is child abusing me!" I always returned for fear my dad, who was a general contractor and came home sometimes during the middle of the day, would see me outside our neighborhood and I would get in trouble for being so far from home.

Thank goodness I never had to learn what actual "by law" child abuse was, but, yeah, sometimes I think it has to do with my reactions and not so much initial reasons to step all over. But...being the youngest did pretty much offer me up as the doormat.
 

OrangeAppled

Sugar Hiccup
Joined
Mar 20, 2009
Messages
7,626
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
ok, i swear. every INFP i know says 'right on'
xD

Right on! :banana2:

I thought that would be more of an SP thing....although I suppose they'd use current slang. I prefer the outdated variety. :cheese:
 

ayoitsStepho

Twerking & Lurking
Joined
Sep 20, 2009
Messages
4,838
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
Right on! :banana2:

I thought that would be more of an SP thing....although I suppose they'd use current slang. I prefer the outdated variety. :cheese:

well thats what i thought to, but i just hear it comming from INFP's. i think it has to do with like a vintage...old soul kinda vibe. atleast with the one's i know.
 

Hazle Weatherfield

New member
Joined
Mar 5, 2009
Messages
62
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w4
I don't have any great advice, but I do have a story. I have three older siblings and when I was younger, they liked to tease me. Not because they were mean people or because they wanted to hurt me, but because they were entertained by my responses! Yes, I believe they were entertained because whenever I would respond by getting upset and "attacking" back they thought it soooo hilarious to get me riled up and would continue to do that. However, I did end up, at different intervals, throwing a science textbook at my sister's head and cut her lip open, throwing a fork in my sister's general direction but with no intent to harm her, swinging my baton (i was taking twirling lessons) full force into my bedroom door leaving a hole (i was very remorseful) because my brother pissed me off, and running away on a number of occasions always after I yelled "my own family is child abusing me!" I always returned for fear my dad, who was a general contractor and came home sometimes during the middle of the day, would see me outside our neighborhood and I would get in trouble for being so far from home.

Thank goodness I never had to learn what actual "by law" child abuse was, but, yeah, sometimes I think it has to do with my reactions and not so much initial reasons to step all over. But...being the youngest did pretty much offer me up as the doormat.

I should follow up by sharing my siblings and I (all older) are so very close now and it is so very important to us all. The only type I know for sure is my older brother, INTP, but his twin may be ENTP, and my older sister maybe INFJ or ISFJ? Who knows, I'll find out more next weekend.
 

Silly_Siren

New member
Joined
Sep 14, 2009
Messages
102
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7
I find the problems with a lot of INFP's are:

- Being introverted they generally travel in smaller packs that make them more vulnerable to bullying. Then you also factor in the part how they are not that engaged with external reality makes them look like easy targets. Muggers for instance, will often only mug people who don't look aware of their surroundings.

- INFP's often have strange esoteric interests that subject them to discrimination

- Even though they often have a good sense of humor, they will sometimes take jokes too seriously and get easily strung along. They are very sensitive. This sensitivity makes them less likely to be tough and to submit in times of conflict.

- INFP's are rarely the possessors of prodigious physical skills since they often aren't interested in matters that would develop these skills.


So when you think of an oversensitive loner who is kind of weird, physically unintimidating and not watching where he's going, you can't help but think bullies must see a big red target on INFP's back. Again this is the negative stereotypical point of view of INFP's, but I imagine that's how bullies see them. I have an INFP who even though he's over 6 feet tall and 200lbs with just huge shoulders, still gets picked on. He even lets small children push him around.
 

Biaxident

Charting a course
Joined
Jan 10, 2009
Messages
3,617
MBTI Type
INFP
I find the problems with a lot of INFP's are:

- Being introverted they generally travel in smaller packs that make them more vulnerable to bullying. Then you also factor in the part how they are not that engaged with external reality makes them look like easy targets. Muggers for instance, will often only mug people who don't look aware of their surroundings.

- INFP's often have strange esoteric interests that subject them to discrimination

- Even though they often have a good sense of humor, they will sometimes take jokes too seriously and get easily strung along. They are very sensitive. This sensitivity makes them less likely to be tough and to submit in times of conflict.

- INFP's are rarely the possessors of prodigious physical skills since they often aren't interested in matters that would develop these skills.


So when you think of an oversensitive loner who is kind of weird, physically unintimidating and not watching where he's going, you can't help but think bullies must see a big red target on INFP's back. Again this is the negative stereotypical point of view of INFP's, but I imagine that's how bullies see them. I have an INFP who even though he's over 6 feet tall and 200lbs with just huge shoulders, still gets picked on. He even lets small children push him around.


*RWWWAAAWWR*!! I don't get picked on.

Small children are allowed. :)
 

JivinJeffJones

New member
Joined
Apr 25, 2007
Messages
3,702
MBTI Type
INFP
You don't have to pick on us. Just compliment us on something we aren't especially strong on, and let us stew on that. We'll take it from there. :newwink:
 

BlackCat

Shaman
Joined
Nov 19, 2008
Messages
7,038
MBTI Type
ESFP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I find it very easy to mess with INFPs... but I only do that in a friendly banter sort of way.
 
Top