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  1. #81
    Senior Member Cranky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by poppy View Post
    Yes...that's about right. Only it took me until just recently to realize that it had even happened

    *mopes*

    Anyway, recognizing that you've been hurt (an isolated incident of hurt perpetrated by one individual who is now missing out) seems to be a good first step for maintaining optimism.
    It would be illogical to assume that all men are like him; I have ample proof to the contrary.

    My problem is not that I was hurt, nor that he's not around (although those are serious problems). My problem is that I am so picky that it seems unrealistic that another person will come along who combines not only the set of traits that I require to be comfortable with a person romantically, but also the chemistry to make me WANT to try with them.

    I can intellectually accept the idea of being alone, because I quite enjoy being free and unaffected by another person's problems and neuroses. Unfortunately, now I KNOW what it's like to be in love like that, and it makes it unlikely that I'll be able to settle for anything less than that intensity of feeling.

  2. #82
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cranky View Post
    It would be illogical to assume that all men are like him; I have ample proof to the contrary.

    My problem is not that I was hurt, nor that he's not around (although those are serious problems). My problem is that I am so picky that it seems unrealistic that another person will come along who combines not only the set of traits that I require to be comfortable with a person romantically, but also the chemistry to make me WANT to try with them.

    I can intellectually accept the idea of being alone, because I quite enjoy being free and unaffected by another person's problems and neuroses. Unfortunately, now I KNOW what it's like to be in love like that, and it makes it unlikely that I'll be able to settle for anything less than that intensity of feeling.
    Bolded- GREAT! You weren't totally jaded from it!

    And all you can do is hope like the rest of us that that special someone will come around...

    I'd say being picky and happy when you find it is better than not being picky and taking anyone and never really being happy.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

  3. #83
    triple nerd score poppy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cranky View Post
    It would be illogical to assume that all men are like him; I have ample proof to the contrary.

    My problem is not that I was hurt, nor that he's not around (although those are serious problems). My problem is that I am so picky that it seems unrealistic that another person will come along who combines not only the set of traits that I require to be comfortable with a person romantically, but also the chemistry to make me WANT to try with them.

    I can intellectually accept the idea of being alone, because I quite enjoy being free and unaffected by another person's problems and neuroses. Unfortunately, now I KNOW what it's like to be in love like that, and it makes it unlikely that I'll be able to settle for anything less than that intensity of feeling.
    I've been through that exactly!!

    And have no advice.

    "There's no need to be embarrassed about it, Mr. Spock. It happens to the birds and the bees!"

  4. #84
    Senior Member Cranky's Avatar
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    Oooh! Oooh! I have an idea!

    Let's line up all heterosexual INFP and INFJ males in a 60-mile radius of my metropolitan area. I will dismiss all those of inappropriate age, religious orientation, and criminal history. I will then sort them by relative physical attractiveness ++, previous marriages or children --, socioeconomic status +-, and history of mental stability ++.

    I will then stare deeply and meaningfully into the eyes of the first man in line, and say..."You meet all my relevant criteria for human pair-bonding. Mate with me?"

  5. #85
    triple nerd score poppy's Avatar
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    "There's no need to be embarrassed about it, Mr. Spock. It happens to the birds and the bees!"

  6. #86
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    This again underlines my feelings of deep suspicion towards INFPs and ENFPs. I like them tremendously as friends and have many of them for friends. I like all of you here. But they seem fickle sometimes. At least to my INFJ sensibilities if there's one thing I'd like to be sure of, it is not getting blindsided by spilling my guts to someone or falling for them and then having them excuse themselves (or not) without explanation. Is this the same deal with both types? Is it Fi related?

  7. #87
    Charting a course
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cranky View Post
    Oooh! Oooh! I have an idea!

    Let's line up all heterosexual INFP and INFJ males in a 60-mile radius of my metropolitan area. I will dismiss all those of inappropriate age, religious orientation, and criminal history. I will then sort them by relative physical attractiveness ++, previous marriages or children --, socioeconomic status +-, and history of mental stability ++.

    I will then stare deeply and meaningfully into the eyes of the first man in line, and say..."You meet all my relevant criteria for human pair-bonding. Mate with me?"

    I refuse to stand in line.


  8. #88
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cranky View Post
    Oooh! Oooh! I have an idea!

    Let's line up all heterosexual INFP and INFJ males in a 60-mile radius of my metropolitan area. I will dismiss all those of inappropriate age, religious orientation, and criminal history. I will then sort them by relative physical attractiveness ++, previous marriages or children --, socioeconomic status +-, and history of mental stability ++.

    I will then stare deeply and meaningfully into the eyes of the first man in line, and say..."You meet all my relevant criteria for human pair-bonding. Mate with me?"
    ...Fine leave me out.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

  9. #89
    Senior Member Cranky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlackCat View Post
    ...Fine leave me out.
    (1) If you're in North Carolina, you're on the wrong coast.

    (2) I'm not entirely sure what the difference in the N/S thing would be like, but I'm also not entirely sure I even want to find out.

    In what ways would you define yourself as different from an INFP?

  10. #90
    Senior Member Cranky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Biaxident View Post
    I refuse to stand in line.

    :chicken:

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