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  1. #71
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cranky View Post
    No, no, no. That would have been by far the EASIEST thing for me to accept. I know perfectly well that you cannot measure, fake, or artificially produce chemistry between two people, and I would have been completely fine if he'd simply said "You simply are not attractive to me." I would have been upset, but not angry at myself for failing to see that he did NOT have the strength of character that I believed he did.

    Part of that comes from the fact that I am no slouch in the looks department, so his opinion of my attractiveness is no critique of my physical appearance. What makes me angry is the niggling suspicion that I was wrong about his character. Really, the romantic gestures that I was making were over the top gooeyness. I think he had a responsibility to spit out that he did not see us together, and was not attracted to me in the same way that I was to him. Instead, he ran, and I chased, and chased, and chased...until I finally threw the gauntlet down and demanded either reciprocation or the truth about how he felt...and he STILL avoided, until I called him on it; it was then that I heard about three of the coldest sentences I've ever heard, and I proceeded to shatter into little tiny pieces on the asphalt.
    Okay, well then he needs to grow a spine . He was too afraid of confrontation, so he let you chase him. That was wrong. Just know that in these sort of INFPs, it often comes from a misguided good place - not wanting to hurt people. There are INFPs who know it's better to be upfront then to draw it out and ending hurting someone worse in the long run.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  2. #72
    Senior Member Cranky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tiltyred View Post
    Oh. You weren't listening.
    He was the one who started the chasing and pursuing.

  3. #73
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    Okay, well then he needs to grow a spine . He was too afraid of confrontation, so he let you chase him. That was wrong. Just know that in these sort of INFPs, it often comes from a misguided good place - not wanting to hurt people. There are INFPs who know it's better to be upfront then to draw it out and ending hurting someone worse in the long run.
    It's funny, even at 20 I knew to open my mouth and not just avoid. I may have pussied out when it came to intensity when I was younger; but at least I've always been man enough to state what's wrong in a situation when it happens.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  4. #74
    Senior Member Cranky's Avatar
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    So, are there simply not enough INTJ women who have gotten their hearts broken...so as to provide me with useful strategies?

  5. #75
    Senior Member Bamboo's Avatar
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    dude, i baked an INFP girl a pie too.

    she's totally being a bitch to me now. or i'm assuming she is.

    shitty.

    moral of the story: DON'T BAKE FOR INFPs.

    you'll get your head back in a few days, don't worry.

    (sweet potato w/ crushed honey pecans - good stuff)
    Don't know how much it'll bend til it breaks.

  6. #76
    triple nerd score poppy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cranky View Post
    So, are there simply not enough INTJ women who have gotten their hearts broken...so as to provide me with useful strategies?
    Lol.

    I think you know how to deal with this as well as any of us. Learning stuff, improving your skill set...also the description of that breakfast you made is making me really hungry...oh um, anyway. It takes time to deal with. Eventually the raging anger will subside and you'll come to an understanding of where he was coming from, which will help you learn to recognize warning signs and save you a lot of flour and butter. Think of it as an opportunity to learn about the human psyche hands on.
    "There's no need to be embarrassed about it, Mr. Spock. It happens to the birds and the bees!"

  7. #77
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by poppy View Post
    Lol.

    I think you know how to deal with this as well as any of us. Learning stuff, improving your skill set...also the description of that breakfast you made is making me really hungry...oh um, anyway. It takes time to deal with. Eventually the raging anger will subside and you'll come to an understanding of where he was coming from, which will help you learn to recognize warning signs and save you a lot of flour and butter. Think of it as an opportunity to learn about the human psyche hands on.
    But don't overdo it and totally clam up and never want another man again!
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

  8. #78
    triple nerd score poppy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlackCat View Post
    But don't overdo it and totally clam up and never want another man again!



    But yes. Hopefully Cranky comes out the other side with an outlook that remains positive. Eh. I'm afraid I'm not the one to advise on how to do that though.
    "There's no need to be embarrassed about it, Mr. Spock. It happens to the birds and the bees!"

  9. #79
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by poppy View Post



    But yes. Hopefully Cranky comes out the other side with an outlook that remains positive. Eh. I'm afraid I'm not the one to advise on how to do that though.
    Yeah. It seems like when INTJs get wronged romantically their minds divide by zero and they lose all rationality towards people or the opposite/same sex (depending on preference), and get super jaded.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

  10. #80
    triple nerd score poppy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlackCat View Post
    Yeah. It seems like when INTJs get wronged romantically their minds divide by zero and they lose all rationality towards people or the opposite/same sex (depending on preference), and get super jaded.
    Yes...that's about right. Only it took me until just recently to realize that it had even happened

    *mopes*

    Anyway, recognizing that you've been hurt (an isolated incident of hurt perpetrated by one individual who is now missing out) seems to be a good first step for maintaining optimism.
    "There's no need to be embarrassed about it, Mr. Spock. It happens to the birds and the bees!"

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