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  1. #51
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Nothing quite like watching an INT letting go
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  2. #52
    Senior Member Cranky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nonsequitur View Post
    Cranky, speaking from personal experience, alcohol doesn't really work. It just makes you feel more disgusted with yourself later on and reduces your productivity. Being understood by people, understanding people and empathy doesn't really work either. It just drags you further down into that blackhole. The best (and healthiest) solution IMHO is to find something else - an interest - to be OCD about, and healthily wean yourself off that when you naturally lose interest.
    I do agree about the alcohol; I am not going to be too hard on myself for a week or two, though. I play the piano (or more accurately, I USED to play the piano) very well, and I've scheduled a piano lesson today so that I have something to do and practice. Learning things always makes me feel better. And, if this makes sense, I'm not drinking to dull the pain, I'm doing a shot or two to be able to fully acknowledge it. I'm not going to crawl into a bottle. Besides, I have quite a tolerance, so that could get expensive QUICKLY. Also, fattening, and the LAST thing I want to do is get fat right now!

    I'd rather just drink some now, eat some pastries, and pull myself out of it by learning things, because that will make me happy.

  3. #53
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Usehername View Post
    This metaphor implies that it's possible to come out of a black hole--have you no scientific metaphor respect?!
    Hawking Radiation

    Quote Originally Posted by Cranky View Post
    I do agree about the alcohol; I am not going to be too hard on myself for a week or two, though. I play the piano (or more accurately, I USED to play the piano) very well, and I've scheduled a piano lesson today so that I have something to do and practice. Learning things always makes me feel better. And, if this makes sense, I'm not drinking to dull the pain, I'm doing a shot or two to be able to fully acknowledge it. I'm not going to crawl into a bottle. Besides, I have quite a tolerance, so that could get expensive QUICKLY. Also, fattening, and the LAST thing I want to do is get fat right now!

    I'd rather just drink some now, eat some pastries, and pull myself out of it by learning things, because that will make me happy.
    Eh, I rather use scotch when I want to really drink; beer is for being social with my uncles. Looks like you still have a healthy way of mapping your way out of the dump, though.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

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    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

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  4. #54
    Nerd King Usurper Edgar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cranky View Post
    Being an INTJ myself, I can understand how you feel.

    Here is a video to help you go through this:

    [YOUTUBE="unkIVvjZc9Y"]Chopper's advice[/YOUTUBE]
    Listen to me, baby, you got to understand, you're old enough to learn the makings of a man.

  5. #55
    Senior Member Cranky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Edgar View Post
    Being an INTJ myself, I can understand how you feel.

    Here is a video to help you go through this:

    [YOUTUBE="unkIVvjZc9Y"]Chopper's advice[/YOUTUBE]
    I just SPEWED my coffee all over my lap from laughing so hard! "This is Stefan. His name is Stefan. Harden the F#@$ UP, Stefan!"


  6. #56
    See Right Through Me Bubbles's Avatar
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    Speaking for myself, I have a huge desire when I'm in a relationship to know I'm 1) being totally honest about my feelings, 2) that this is something worth getting invested in, and 3) if neither of the above are there for me, I just want out.

    I sort of bottled it when I went through that, kind of thought, "but everything was going so well, I can fix this, I'll be happy." Er. Denial didn't work for me. I'd be saying one thing to the guy, another thing to a friend, and finally the friend just said to me "You're miserable. Get out of this. Tell him. It's killing you to be in denial like that."

    Soo. I took that advice. Pretty much was an emotional wreck while I spilled out my guts to the INTP. And instead of him just saying, okay be happy, he attacked me with logic until my little irrational fears went away. Talking about the problems I was bottling helped me be less of a freakout, I guess. Hah, I've discovered Ts get more Fi/Fe in emotional situations and Fs get more Ti/Te in them. Ironic.

    But from what I see in this thread, and in myself, INFPs need major major certainties. Because we are scaredy-cats in the realm of love.
    4w3, IEI, so/sx/sp, female, and Cancer sign.

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  7. #57
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by the state i am in View Post
    also, i identify with everything orangeappled said, although i don't know why (since i'm infj).

    i think nf types often have a strong calling or pull to a better possibility of emotional relationality
    I think a lot of it is just NF stuff. I can see bits of the accusations against ENFJs for being emotionally manipulative in what I wrote, and so I suppose any NF can seem that way. The needing time alone and space could probably apply to most introverts, and NFs particularly need to cultivate their own sense of identity.


    Quote Originally Posted by JivinJeffJones View Post
    Sorry to hear about that cranky.

    One thing I'll say is that I'm terrible at breaking up, and think other INFPs might be as well. I'm not quite sure why it is. Maybe the INFP drive for emotional authenticity means we can't stand feeling phoney, so once we realize we're not that into someone we want to get the breakup over and done with ASAP rather than pretending we still feel it.

    For me, that was usually my motivating force for breaking up, and my guiding force during the breakup was (sad to say) a self-protective desire to actively limit empathy. Possibly the stress of such situations is enough to flip INFPs into their ESTJ shadow (still not sure I believe in the concept of shadows), though that seems a bit harsh to ESTJs and very generous to INFPs.

    Again, sorry.
    I'm so guilty of this. I've done email breakups, and also just blown people off....you'd think I'd be more sensitive. I'm just afraid of getting talked into not breaking up, and I have this huge guilt when there's nothing for me to be guilty about.

    And the ESTJ shadow is mainly the bad qualities or a distortion, which is why it can be ugly in an INFP.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

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  8. #58
    On a mission Usehername's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nonsequitur View Post
    I meant rabbithole.


    Quote Originally Posted by runvardh View Post
    From your link:

    the gravitation is so powerful that nothing, not even radiation, can escape from the black hole.
    ...
    This radiation does not come directly from the black hole itself, but rather is a result of virtual particles being "boosted" by the black hole's gravitation into becoming real particles.
    *You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.
    *Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason once accepted, despite your changing moods.
    C.S. Lewis

  9. #59
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    well, that was fun while it lasted... The proces does, however, remove mass from the blackhole causing it to evaporate.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  10. #60
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cranky View Post
    Ok, now I'm nothing but PISSED OFF. I'm watching multiple threads in this forum, and what I see are INFPs complaining that INTJs walk all over them.

    (Yes, I am aware that I'm whining and being unjust, but I'm also starting to get angry)

    INFPs complain that we are insensitive and ruthless. They acknowledge that we don't mean to be; it's simply the way we're built.

    Should I just acknowledge that INFPs are emotionally manipulative and take advantage of our total incapacity to deal with our feelings? I'll trade you. I cause the harm I do UNINTENTIONALLY out of insensitivity and cluelessness; you do what you do INTENTIONALLY out of curiosity and a desire to be helpful.

    Now, *I'M* the one who feels like a lab rat.
    I'm behind on this thread. My feelings get hurt soooooooooo easily. If I started something that you feel is unfair, I apologize. But I too have befriended a few INTJ folks, never fallen in love with any of them, but I love them as friends once I get to know them.

    Edit: I just noticed I read the time wrong. I didn't start anything you might have read.

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