[MBTI General] Bloody INFPs and their capacity to turn INTJs into fuzzy hug addicts.

[Cranky]

Yes...that's about right. Only it took me until just recently to realize that it had even happened

*mopes*

Anyway, recognizing that you've been hurt (an isolated incident of hurt perpetrated by one individual who is now missing out) seems to be a good first step for maintaining optimism.

It would be illogical to assume that all men are like him; I have ample proof to the contrary.

My problem is not that I was hurt, nor that he's not around (although those are serious problems). My problem is that I am so picky that it seems unrealistic that another person will come along who combines not only the set of traits that I require to be comfortable with a person romantically, but also the chemistry to make me WANT to try with them.

I can intellectually accept the idea of being alone, because I quite enjoy being free and unaffected by another person's problems and neuroses. Unfortunately, now I KNOW what it's like to be in love like that, and it makes it unlikely that I'll be able to settle for anything less than that intensity of feeling.

 

[BlackCat]

It would be illogical to assume that all men are like him; I have ample proof to the contrary.

My problem is not that I was hurt, nor that he's not around (although those are serious problems). My problem is that I am so picky that it seems unrealistic that another person will come along who combines not only the set of traits that I require to be comfortable with a person romantically, but also the chemistry to make me WANT to try with them.

I can intellectually accept the idea of being alone, because I quite enjoy being free and unaffected by another person's problems and neuroses. Unfortunately, now I KNOW what it's like to be in love like that, and it makes it unlikely that I'll be able to settle for anything less than that intensity of feeling.

Bolded- GREAT! You weren't totally jaded from it!

And all you can do is hope like the rest of us that that special someone will come around...

I'd say being picky and happy when you find it is better than not being picky and taking anyone and never really being happy.

 

[poppy]

It would be illogical to assume that all men are like him; I have ample proof to the contrary.

My problem is not that I was hurt, nor that he's not around (although those are serious problems). My problem is that I am so picky that it seems unrealistic that another person will come along who combines not only the set of traits that I require to be comfortable with a person romantically, but also the chemistry to make me WANT to try with them.

I can intellectually accept the idea of being alone, because I quite enjoy being free and unaffected by another person's problems and neuroses. Unfortunately, now I KNOW what it's like to be in love like that, and it makes it unlikely that I'll be able to settle for anything less than that intensity of feeling.

I've been through that exactly!!

And have no advice.

 

[Cranky]

Oooh! Oooh! I have an idea!

Let's line up all heterosexual INFP and INFJ males in a 60-mile radius of my metropolitan area. I will dismiss all those of inappropriate age, religious orientation, and criminal history. I will then sort them by relative physical attractiveness ++, previous marriages or children --, socioeconomic status +-, and history of mental stability ++.

I will then stare deeply and meaningfully into the eyes of the first man in line, and say..."You meet all my relevant criteria for human pair-bonding. Mate with me?"

 

[poppy]

 

[Fidelia]

This again underlines my feelings of deep suspicion towards INFPs and ENFPs. I like them tremendously as friends and have many of them for friends. I like all of you here. But they seem fickle sometimes. At least to my INFJ sensibilities if there's one thing I'd like to be sure of, it is not getting blindsided by spilling my guts to someone or falling for them and then having them excuse themselves (or not) without explanation. Is this the same deal with both types? Is it Fi related?

 

[Biaxident]

Oooh! Oooh! I have an idea!

Let's line up all heterosexual INFP and INFJ males in a 60-mile radius of my metropolitan area. I will dismiss all those of inappropriate age, religious orientation, and criminal history. I will then sort them by relative physical attractiveness ++, previous marriages or children --, socioeconomic status +-, and history of mental stability ++.

I will then stare deeply and meaningfully into the eyes of the first man in line, and say..."You meet all my relevant criteria for human pair-bonding. Mate with me?"

I refuse to stand in line.

 

[BlackCat]

Oooh! Oooh! I have an idea!

Let's line up all heterosexual INFP and INFJ males in a 60-mile radius of my metropolitan area. I will dismiss all those of inappropriate age, religious orientation, and criminal history. I will then sort them by relative physical attractiveness ++, previous marriages or children --, socioeconomic status +-, and history of mental stability ++.

I will then stare deeply and meaningfully into the eyes of the first man in line, and say..."You meet all my relevant criteria for human pair-bonding. Mate with me?"

...Fine leave me out.

 

[Cranky]

...Fine leave me out.

(1) If you're in North Carolina, you're on the wrong coast.

(2) I'm not entirely sure what the difference in the N/S thing would be like, but I'm also not entirely sure I even want to find out.

In what ways would you define yourself as different from an INFP?

 

[Cranky]

I refuse to stand in line.

:chicken:

 

[Biaxident]

This again underlines my feelings of deep suspicion towards INFPs and ENFPs. I like them tremendously as friends and have many of them for friends. I like all of you here. But they seem fickle sometimes. At least to my INFJ sensibilities if there's one thing I'd like to be sure of, it is not getting blindsided by spilling my guts to someone or falling for them and then having them excuse themselves (or not) without explanation. Is this the same deal with both types? Is it Fi related?

Well cripes.

Why shouldn't we be just as picky as everyone else?

And I don't care what 'type' you are, anyone who doesn't at least attempt to explain reasons for ending a relationship should be flayed alive. Then turned into fertilizer with a wood chipper.

 

[Cranky]

Well cripes.

Why shouldn't we be just as picky as everyone else?

And I don't care what 'type' you are, anyone who doesn't at least attempt to explain reason's for ending a relationship should be flayed alive. Then turned into fertilizer with a wood chipper.

yes.

 

[Biaxident]

:chicken:

Not at all.

I shall make my way to the front of the line. But I refuse to be treated like cattle.

Therefore, I shall not stand in line.

And while the other suckers are cringing at your disdain. I shall be watching from a corner and smiling, till all the losers are gone.

 

[Biaxident]

yes.

Like I said, it just happened to me as well. And I was married less than a year. I wasn't talking out my ass.

 

[Cranky]

Like I said, it just happened to me as well. And I was married less than a year. I wasn't talking out my ass.

What was her personality type?

 

[BlackCat]

In what ways would you define yourself as different from an INFP?

Let's see...

Not an idealist. I'm realistic. It's Se vs Ne generally. But I consider myself very balanced on intuition and sensing... I thought that I was an INFP for a long time. I'm very in touch with my Ni, but it's not preferred over sensing. I was stuck in an Fi-Ni loop for a long while, and Se just recently started to really hit me, and that's when I realized it. I always knew that I was different from INFPs.

I don't really get random ideas all the time... I don't really think about very deep issues all the time. I don't let things bother me, things only really bother me if they are ambiguous in meaning or they are unclear to me, and I will generally try to figure it out in my head or get some sort of tangible proof to counter the feelings that I have (preferred method). I just tend to think of the present really, or things that have happened to me that were meaningful to me. I find it easy to assert myself (Se). I'm not complicated for no reason. Etc...

Believe me we could have as many wacky and imaginative conversations as you wanted to. All of my friends and my parents are Ns (I live with an INTP right now who is one of my best friends), it's totally normal for me. I do have some deeply thought out beliefs and views on things, I consider myself a pretty deep person.

 

[OrangeAppled]

This again underlines my feelings of deep suspicion towards INFPs and ENFPs. I like them tremendously as friends and have many of them for friends. I like all of you here. But they seem fickle sometimes. At least to my INFJ sensibilities if there's one thing I'd like to be sure of, it is not getting blindsided by spilling my guts to someone or falling for them and then having them excuse themselves (or not) without explanation. Is this the same deal with both types? Is it Fi related?

It's certainly not an INFP hallmark trait, just a few with misguided good intentions, as I brought out. You mistakenly think that being too upfront may hurt people's feelings. I got over that by my early 20s.

And it's rare that ample hints are not sent before a direct cut is made. Some people just choose not to see them.

 

[Cranky]

Let's see...

Not an idealist. I'm realistic. It's Se vs Ne generally. But I consider myself very balanced on intuition and sensing... I thought that I was an INFP for a long time. I'm very in touch with my Ni, but it's not preferred over sensing. I was stuck in an Fi-Ni loop for a long while, and Se just recently started to really hit me, and that's when I realized it. I always knew that I was different from INFPs.

I don't really get random ideas all the time... I don't really think about very deep issues all the time. I don't let things bother me, things only really bother me if they are ambiguous in meaning or they are unclear to me, and I will generally try to figure it out in my head or get some sort of tangible proof to counter the feelings that I have (preferred method). I just tend to think of the present really, or things that have happened to me that were meaningful to me. I find it easy to assert myself (Se). I'm not complicated for no reason. Etc...

Believe me we could have as many wacky and imaginative conversations as you wanted to. All of my friends and my parents are Ns (I live with an INTP right now who is one of my best friends), it's totally normal for me. I do have some deeply thought out beliefs and views on things, I consider myself a pretty deep person.

Maybe that's the difference. I'm already a hardened realist. Even though Mr. INFP turned out to not be able to deal with me or whatever the issue was, he had a kind heart, and was so ridiculously idealistic that he glowed. I want that glow. I already know how to bring people down to earth; I want someone who can get me into the clouds.

 

[Biaxident]

What was her personality type?

IS, or N, FJ. I think. She would never type herself.

* I was so tempted to type her as BITCH. But I am a better person than that. I hope she's happy, because she made me miserable. And sometimes, I still am.*

But I am working on it.

 

[BlackCat]

Maybe that's the difference. I'm already a hardened realist. Even though Mr. INFP turned out to not be able to deal with me or whatever the issue was, he had a kind heart, and was so ridiculously idealistic that he glowed. I want that glow. I already know how to bring people down to earth; I want someone who can get me into the clouds.

Yep find an NF. My INTJ or ISTJ lady will come to me some day...