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  1. #381
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cranky View Post
    It was VERY disorienting, and unfortunately for me, I was most certainly exploited while emotionally vulnerable.

    I'm glad you weren't being manipulative towards your INTJ friend; doing so and maintaining contact with her would have been a bad idea. We plan long-term, and I happen to enjoy me some revenge.

    I in essence gave up any chance for revenge by cutting all ties with him. It's far more emotionally healthy this way, but there is a piece of me that wants to demonstrate to him what it's like to tangle with me when I'm not baking pies and making cow eyes at him. Just a small piece. And the desire will fade over time along with the anger.
    Give it time. Give the whole thing time...especially as you may not fully understand whatever his perspective & experience was. While I understand your need for closure, real life can weirdly unpredictable. On Facebook, several of my friends are women I had emotionally messy breakups or whatnot with. At the time, I preferred not to interact with them, but now, many years hence, I'm happy to talk to them and know that they are well...

    The wind knocks my window, the room it is wet.
    The words to say I'm sorry, I haven't found yet.
    I think of her often and hope whoever she's met
    Will be fully aware of how precious she is.

    --Bob Dylan, INFP--

  2. #382
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fecal McAngry View Post
    Incorrect. Letterman is an extremely private near-recluse when away from work; despite being an ultra-famous NYC & CT resident for 25+ years he has no public profile whatsoever in real life.
    I have an entj brother who has maybe two people who he calls friends, so it goes without saying much else that his type doesn't need to have a social life.

    I've also watched a video on youtube of an entj describing how, despite his willingness to mingle with anyone, is pretty reclusive/has very few friends. It'd probably turn up if you typed in 'entj'.

    Now that I'm out of facts...

    I think entjs tend to be more in your face, and have more of hot potato mentality to ideas.

    His interviews of Natalie Portman/B. Obama (both isfjs in my mind; some agree and others don't) looks like the isfj/entj duality pairing that I've seen once in a while. Maybe he interviews Ben Stiller, too. I'll check after I post this. But I imagine they'd get along tick-tock together like the other two.

    thinking of you

  3. #383
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    Quote Originally Posted by candylandjoe View Post
    I have an entj brother who has maybe two people who he calls friends, so it goes without saying much else that his type doesn't need to have a social life.
    You are missing the point. I have plenty of people I'd call friends, nevertheless I am a very strong introvert. I can also give examples of the converse.

    To highlight the absurdity, let's take some preposterously extraverted person--a Bill Clinton, for example. If we kill all his friends, does he become an introvert?

  4. #384
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
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    I guess you could call me a moderate extravert, and I think I have 2-3 friends, and that's it.

    Just because you have outward focus does not mean that you need five billion people around you to listen. Besides I have lots of people around me all the time.

    However, I share my core with a very few, hand-picked people. I think that's healthy - it's really not good to share your inner self with everyone because most people are assholes and not worth it.
    If you are interested in language, words, linguistics, or foreign languages, check out my blog and read, post, and/or share.

  5. #385
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fecal McAngry View Post
    You are missing the point. I have plenty of people I'd call friends, nevertheless I am a very strong introvert. I can also give examples of the converse.

    To highlight the absurdity, let's take some preposterously extraverted person--a Bill Clinton, for example. If we kill all his friends, does he become an introvert?
    I hinted at what you just said with my last few lines.

    thinking of you

  6. #386
    Head Pigeon Mad Hatter's Avatar
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    I have no intention to turn any person I know into a something like a "hug addict." I'm not a physical person, and being hugged all the time would really make me somewhat uncomfortable (even if it happened with a SO).

  7. #387
    Aspiring Troens Ridder KLessard's Avatar
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    I've had a similar experience with an INTP friend. Since INFJs and INTPs can sometimes be very similar in some ways (at first sight), I thought she was like me and kept her emotions under a lid. I really liked her (used her as model in my art and all) and tried to make her comfortable so she would let the emotions out and we could share a meaningful friendship, but no matter how hard I tried, she wasn't too emotional about anything. She was clumsy with hugs and I tried harder to get her to open up (not a good idea). When I began understanding the NT unemotional structure (I discovered MBTI in my attempt to understand her better), I started to let go, even though I felt it like a rejection or something.
    Well, now that I've let go and started treating her like every other colleague and be just casual with her, she started being kinder with me (in her own NT way), like she's missing it or something! She came back to work in the fall after a computer engineering stage and she came to see me, standing next to me like she was waiting for something. I stared and just talked to her, but she was waiting for her hug !!! (I gave it to her, but I was the one feeling clumsy about it...)

  8. #388
    Senior Member Cranky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KLessard View Post
    I've had a similar experience with an INTP friend. Since INFJs and INTPs can sometimes be very similar in some ways (at first sight), I thought she was like me and kept her emotions under a lid. I really liked her (used her as model in my art and all) and tried to make her comfortable so she would let the emotions out and we could share a meaningful friendship, but no matter how hard I tried, she wasn't too emotional about anything. She was clumsy with hugs and I tried harder to get her to open up (not a good idea). When I began understanding the NT unemotional structure (I discovered MBTI in my attempt to understand her better), I started to let go, even though I felt it like a rejection or something.
    Well, now that I've let go and started treating her like every other colleague and be just casual with her, she started being more affectionate with me (in her own NT way), like she's missing it or something! She came back to work in the fall after a computer engineering stage and she came to see me, standing next to me like she was waiting for something. I stared and just talked to her, but she was waiting for her hug !!! (I gave it to her, but I was the one feeling clumsy about it...)
    Dude, she has it so bad for you.
    Personally, *I* think I'm hysterically funny.

  9. #389
    Senior Member bighairything's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KLessard View Post
    I've had a similar experience with an INTP friend. Since INFJs and INTPs can sometimes be very similar in some ways (at first sight), I thought she was like me and kept her emotions under a lid. I really liked her (used her as model in my art and all) and tried to make her comfortable so she would let the emotions out and we could share a meaningful friendship, but no matter how hard I tried, she wasn't too emotional about anything. She was clumsy with hugs and I tried harder to get her to open up (not a good idea). When I began understanding the NT unemotional structure (I discovered MBTI in my attempt to understand her better), I started to let go, even though I felt it like a rejection or something.
    Well, now that I've let go and started treating her like every other colleague and be just casual with her, she started being kinder with me (in her own NT way), like she's missing it or something! She came back to work in the fall after a computer engineering stage and she came to see me, standing next to me like she was waiting for something. I stared and just talked to her, but she was waiting for her hug !!! (I gave it to her, but I was the one feeling clumsy about it...)
    INTPs are sooo cute!

  10. #390
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cranky View Post
    This is going to sound a bit strange...and I certainly don't want to act like a total drama queen, but how I really feel is violated. Not really in any sexual sense, but more as if someone cracked open my brain, shuffled about to get what they wanted, and failed to properly reorder everything when leaving. Also, they didn't suture me properly, and now I'm leaking goo and huggles.

    The best way to get over one INFP is to get under another INFP.


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