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  1. #211
    See Right Through Me Bubbles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cranky View Post
    Oh, we're capable of suffering in silence for years. I've carried torches for six, seven years at a time.

    Also, we grow up getting told over and over again (especially FEMALE INTJs) that we need to moderate our honesty, not to hurt other people's feelings with our directness and mental capacity, and not to be so competitive.

    If this INTJ dude beat your pants off in 4 moves in a game of chess, it's because he thought you could handle it, which is a compliment of the highest order. He didn't see you as the typically weak female who would go and sulk in a corner, but would instead enjoy seeing how his mind works. He was letting you into his strategies, not trying to hurt your feelings. This is VERY intimate to us, akin to...well, I don't really know what the equivalent for an INFP would be...maybe letting us see your feelings or something.
    I'd liken it to an INFP showing you their flaws. We hate criticism, so we trust you majorly when we do that.
    4w3, IEI, so/sx/sp, female, and Cancer sign.

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    DISCLAIMER: If I offend you, I'm 99.9% sure it's unintentional. So be sure to let me know, m'kay? (And yes, an INFP would stick this in their signature, lol.)

  2. #212
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bubbles View Post
    I'd liken it to an INFP showing you their flaws. We hate criticism, so we trust you majorly when we do that.
    absolutely. and especially e4 types, e4 + infp = shame, shame, and more shame.

    it's difficult literally taking everything personally and then wrapping up your whole defense strategy and motivation system in "self-understanding." it makes new criticism and perceived hostility read as personal attacks, attacking your sense of self, your validity and value, etc. a very tough defense system until you have almost all your shit worked out, have settled on your final answer, and are pretty much stuck in solidly with your back feet firmly rooted into the ground like a tree.

    the wing for 4s says that some will rely on knowledge/expertise/technicalcapability to provide this extra sense of structure, support, and defense, whereas others will use achievement, accolades, and worldly success to fortify their sense of self. but good god until that happens it sounds even more exhausting than my 5w4 designation.

  3. #213
    Uniqueorn William K's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by the state i am in View Post
    absolutely. and especially e4 types, e4 + infp = shame, shame, and more shame.
    Yup. If I tell you something embarassing that happened or that I did a long time ago in the past that probably no one else remembers, it means I truly trust you as a friend

  4. #214
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cranky View Post
    If this INTJ dude beat your pants off in 4 moves in a game of chess, it's because he thought you could handle it, which is a compliment of the highest order. He didn't see you as the typically weak female who would go and sulk in a corner, but would instead enjoy seeing how his mind works. He was letting you into his strategies, not trying to hurt your feelings. This is VERY intimate to us, akin to...well, I don't really know what the equivalent for an INFP would be...maybe letting us see your feelings or something.
    I need to keep reminding myself of this difference between NTs particularly INTJ, and NFs particularly INFP. When an NF shares on a forum, he may feel like he is putting a piece of his soul out on the forum, and if people cut his words to pieces, he may feel like they are cutting him to pieces, where the NT feels like he is paying the NF a huge compliment by showing him how he can improve his statement. The NT's actions are showing that the NF is worthy of the NT's efforts. Do I have the NT side right? I have seen misunderstandings because of this difference on many occasions.

  5. #215
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    Quote Originally Posted by the state i am in View Post
    absolutely. and especially e4 types, e4 + infp = shame, shame, and more shame.

    it's difficult literally taking everything personally and then wrapping up your whole defense strategy and motivation system in "self-understanding." it makes new criticism and perceived hostility read as personal attacks, attacking your sense of self, your validity and value, etc. a very tough defense system until you have almost all your shit worked out, have settled on your final answer, and are pretty much stuck in solidly with your back feet firmly rooted into the ground like a tree.

    the wing for 4s says that some will rely on knowledge/expertise/technicalcapability to provide this extra sense of structure, support, and defense, whereas others will use achievement, accolades, and worldly success to fortify their sense of self. but good god until that happens it sounds even more exhausting than my 5w4 designation.
    To me criticism, especially from significant others feels like rejection, or at least a lack of acceptance. I tend to hand out lots of acceptance to almost everyone, and crave to receive it, but that often seems to be a pipe dream. Criticism tends to communicate to me, "If you wish to earn my acceptance you cannot be yourself. You will have to change." Sometimes when I am depressed it looks like everyone else in the world gains acceptance merely by being genuine, but I'm not awarded that privilege. I once told an online INTJ friend about my craving for unconditional acceptance, and she informed me that I was destined to be disappointed all my life.

  6. #216
    Senior Member Cranky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by will5250 View Post
    I need to keep reminding myself of this difference between NTs particularly INTJ, and NFs particularly INFP. When an NF shares on a forum, he may feel like he is putting a piece of his soul out on the forum, and if people cut his words to pieces, he may feel like they are cutting him to pieces, where the NT feels like he is paying the NF a huge compliment by showing him how he can improve his statement. The NT's actions are showing that the NF is worthy of the NT's efforts. Do I have the NT side right? I have seen miss communications and misunderstandings because of this difference on many occasions.
    This is absolutely 100% correct.

    You misspelled "miss communications."


  7. #217
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cranky View Post
    This is absolutely 100% correct.

    You misspelled "miss communications."

    He meant "Miss Communications".

  8. #218
    Senior Member Cranky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Biaxident View Post
    He meant "Miss Communications".
    Then he was still wrong. (Er, INFP dude...you know I'm teasing, right?? )

    I am Ms. DEMEANOR.

    Ms. Demeanor - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

  9. #219
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cranky View Post
    Then he was still wrong. (Er, INFP dude...you know I'm teasing, right?? )

    I am Ms. DEMEANOR.

    Ms. Demeanor - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

    He knows, and so do I.

    Oh and, pick pick pick pick....


    Or perhaps this would work better.

  10. #220
    Senior Member Liminality's Avatar
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    I hath an ISFx mother, must be where the slight extraversion comes from...somehow...ish...
    Come along Fool
    A direct hit of the senses you are disconnected
    It's not that it's bad, it's not that it's death
    It's just on the tip of your tongue, and you're so silent

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