I understand.Hmm. I think it's possible that my visible personality shifted. I wasn't so much slavishly attempting to fulfill his every whim, as I was desperately trying to figure out what WORKED to make him smile.
I don't think I was clingy; I probably came off as confused, though. I hadn't ever experienced this set of feelings, and I certainly am capable of doing TOO much when I don't know what to do.
In the end, though, there's plenty of blame to go around. HE should have had the character to do what is right, and to tell me that it wasn't going to work. I think I treated him with courtesy and respect, and I don't believe I got the same back from him. While I would have forgiven him and worked with him to find a way for us to get along with both parties feeling respected and free, I think he simply didn't have the feelings necessary to make him want to try.
If there is any quality I need in a man, it is the capacity to do what's right, regardless of the cost to oneself in inconvenience or personal lack of desire to see conflict. I need to see that, and I believed he possessed it; I just didn't see any of that character when I needed him to display it.
Off to the coal mines for me.