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  1. #101
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    Thanks OrangeAppled and Biaxident - I'm glad if it's remedied with maturity because I like all you people. I just hate (bad) surprises. Especially emotional ones.

    You two seem so reasonable, but it was worrying me...and I didn't know there were ample hints. In that case...

  2. #102
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cranky View Post
    Maybe that's the difference. I'm already a hardened realist. Even though Mr. INFP turned out to not be able to deal with me or whatever the issue was, he had a kind heart, and was so ridiculously idealistic that he glowed. I want that glow. I already know how to bring people down to earth; I want someone who can get me into the clouds.
    infj. my intj is really supportive and acts treats my writing like it's rilkean. i actually put her thru something like this before, but she gave me another chance. it's bc the last sentence.

    even when i get fickle or moody or just caught in one of those ephemeral moments or whims, she puts up with it and always feels like home to me. i trust her to see the best in me and get me back on the right track, and, as a result, she's seen 100x more of me than anyone else. parts of me were invented with her. in contrast, she knows i can see down to the very core. i may not share her Fi the same way an infp would, but i share Ni perceptions to ridiculous degree. and can do magic tricks with them! and she knows i can see her as a whole more than anyone else ever could. which is extremely freeing (plus we both are in love with domesticity).

    if you need a hint, sometimes you can pry an infj open all the way and kinda skip steps by feeding him magic mushrooms so that he gets so open all you can do is laugh that he can't stop trying to bear hug the entire world at once!

    also, N dom can be a revelation.

  3. #103
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    and I didn't know there were ample hints. In that case...
    Feelers usually pick that stuff up easily. Dealing with denser NTs and STs is where things can be tricky . The INFP may have to take a more unnatural direct style, when of course, we prefer the more subtle, informative style. Informative style can leave too much interpretation up to the other person, meaning that wishful thinking on their part can block our hints. However, the direct style, often coming through inferior Te, may make INFPs seem cold and terse, because it's not our usual way. It's not excuse though, because as I said before, age/maturity usually adds finesse in these matters.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  4. #104
    Senior Member Lex Talionis's Avatar
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    I must admit that INFPs have a certain air of sincere exuberance about them (if you get to know them) that draws me in. It's more of a playful relationship where I find the INFP (female, males are a different story) adorable, like a little ball of yarn in my paws.

    Bad analogy? Perhaps, but it's the best I can come up with.
    "Death is nothing, but to live defeated and inglorious is to die daily."
    —Bonaparte

  5. #105
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    Feelers usually pick that stuff up easily. Dealing with denser NTs and STs is where things can be tricky . The INFP may have to take a more unnatural direct style, when of course, we prefer the more subtle, informative style. Informative style can leave too much interpretation up to the other person, meaning that wishful thinking on their part can block our hints. However, the direct style, often coming through inferior Te, may make INFPs seem cold and terse, because it's not our usual way. It's not excuse though, because as I said before, age/maturity usually adds finesse in these matters.
    i had a situation with an infp 4w5 where i think i crossed a line when i had no understanding of the signals whatsoever. then another time i had no idea that i wasn't crossing the line when i was supposed to. in the first instance i felt badly about it afterward for a month or two. it was terrible. i may be kind of a dunce generally in this way, but i didn't think it/she was clear at all. it took us a month or two just to be able to communicate again at all, which is weird, bc even our N games were all blocked up, and i wasn't pushing for anything in particular (altho i was mighty impressed by her). i felt like she was very hostile and she said i was just being crazy, that she didn't feel like that at all. i guess we were both probably quite wary of each other and just overly introverted and cautiously you-make-the-first-move-or-we-will-never-talk-again kind of approach.

  6. #106
    Senior Member Cranky's Avatar
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    There is certainly no doubt that he was hinting.

    I just didn't know what he was hinting ABOUT.

    Here's my problem: I'm used to being clueless about people, and so I've worked overtime to understand them. The issue is that I start with the assumption that I don't know what I'm doing when it comes to reading people, and I don't trust my own judgment about what their reactions mean. As a result, I either totally misunderstood what he was saying, or assumed that it couldn't mean what I thought it did.

    Part of it was willful ignorance, and part of it was wishful thinking.:confused:

  7. #107
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cranky View Post
    Maybe that's the difference. I'm already a hardened realist. Even though Mr. INFP turned out to not be able to deal with me or whatever the issue was, he had a kind heart, and was so ridiculously idealistic that he glowed. I want that glow. I already know how to bring people down to earth; I want someone who can get me into the clouds.
    Damn, I'm already grounded. I wish I had a safe place to float...
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  8. #108
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cranky View Post
    There is certainly no doubt that he was hinting.

    I just didn't know what he was hinting ABOUT.

    Here's my problem: I'm used to being clueless about people, and so I've worked overtime to understand them. The issue is that I start with the assumption that I don't know what I'm doing when it comes to reading people, and I don't trust my own judgment about what their reactions mean. As a result, I either totally misunderstood what he was saying, or assumed that it couldn't mean what I thought it did.

    Part of it was willful ignorance, and part of it was wishful thinking.:confused:
    And hey, a big part of it was that he wasn't being clear and direct enough.

    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  9. #109
    See Right Through Me Bubbles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bamboo View Post
    moral of the story: DON'T BAKE FOR INFPs.
    But...but...I want a pie baked with love!!
    4w3, IEI, so/sx/sp, female, and Cancer sign.

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    DISCLAIMER: If I offend you, I'm 99.9% sure it's unintentional. So be sure to let me know, m'kay? (And yes, an INFP would stick this in their signature, lol.)

  10. #110
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bubbles View Post
    But...but...I want a pie baked with love!!
    Here, just pour this in the next time you want one made.



    You didn't think that love REALLY came from the INTJs own heart, did you?

    And how do you think they make fast food taste so good? They put mass-produced love into it.

    Love is rather fattening, though, so you might want to reconsider.

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