[ENFP] ENFPs, Se, and Exes.

[ChocolateMoose123]

Wow. All I can say is this sound very familiar. A male and female ENFP friend has confided in me similarly. I don't know. ENFP's are somewhat of a mystery. Yet, I think they really respect that Ti/Se advice. Keeps them somewhat grounded. But they generally aren't adept at using an ISTP's advice practically. I've found that they like the listening board and it gives them consolation but they ultimately have to come to closure on their own. I have always found that ENFP's utilize other people for support but use their own functions to get over these kinds of things in the way they know best. They just need a non-judgmental sounding board for these sorts of things. For being F's they are very sensitive to being looked upon as "sensitive"....kind of strange. Just something I've noticed. They tend to get over these things over time (maybe a long period) and if you provide a good ear for them...that's the most important thing to them. You have their trust.

 

[StephMC]

^ You said it! Fortunately, it wasn't much of a struggle to accept the fact that some people will ask for advice and not take it (My ESTP friend does struggle with it a little though...she gets a little heated ) That's definitely what I'm trying to do... just give him a "listening board." I guess there's moments where I just want to figure him out so that I can at least have responses to encourage him to continue. ENFPs need to think out loud, right? Besides, even if no one really seems to act on advice given to them, a good conversation will at least get them seeing different points of view or onto new trains of thoughts... hopefully...

 

[Poki]

^ You said it! Fortunately, it wasn't much of a struggle to accept the fact that some people will ask for advice and not take it (My ESTP friend does struggle with it a little though...she gets a little heated ) That's definitely what I'm trying to do... just give him a "listening board." I guess there's moments where I just want to figure him out so that I can at least have responses to encourage him to continue. ENFPs need to think out loud, right? Besides, even if no one really seems to act on advice given to them, a good conversation will at least get them seeing different points of view or onto new trains of thoughts... hopefully...

Those 2 things kinda go hand in hand. In the process to figure them out you end up asking questions and they get to think out loud and dig deeper into things.

I dont usually mind not having my advice taken, I see them more as suggestions or ideas.

 

[StephMC]

I dont usually mind not having my advice taken, I see them more as suggestions or ideas.

Well said! And very true

 

[Charmed Justice]

I've found that they like the listening board and it gives them consolation but they ultimately have to come to closure on their own. I have always found that ENFP's utilize other people for support but use their own functions to get over these kinds of things in the way they know best. They just need a non-judgmental sounding board for these sorts of things. For being F's they are very sensitive to being looked upon as "sensitive"....kind of strange. Just something I've noticed. They tend to get over these things over time (maybe a long period) and if you provide a good ear for them...that's the most important thing to them. You have their trust.

^Wow, ENFPs much? All of the above is so very true. We like to appear strong and capable(not sensitive); we're often very judgmental of ourselves--self critical. It's one of the reasons I think it's so hard for us to accept judgment from others. Just having someone as a sounding board, rather than overwhelming us with further criticism, is most helpful.

ENFPs need to think out loud, right? Besides, even if no one really seems to act on advice given to them, a good conversation will at least get them seeing different points of view or onto new trains of thoughts... hopefully...

Yes. The only time I went to a counselor, I tried to get her to give me advice. After talking to me for a few minutes, she looked at me and laughed. She told me I had the answers, and I just needed to start talking them out. Problem solved. I just needed a person to hear me out without criticism.

 

[ChocolateMoose123]

^Wow, ENFPs much? All of the above is so very true. We like to appear strong and capable(not sensitive); we're often very judgmental of ourselves--self critical. It's one of the reasons I think it's so hard for us to accept judgment from others. Just having someone as a sounding board, rather than overwhelming us with further criticism, is most helpful.

Yup. ENFP's a lot! (I've been on the receiving end of ENFP "intrigue" a couple times).

The bolded part is very correct. I wish ENFP's would give themselves the same benefit of the doubt they so willingly give others. Yeah. You guys have a lot of internal struggling you wrestle with. It's only during these rare times that you open up and share it that I notice. Wow. I just realized that as I typed it. Damn. Being an ENFP would wear me out! lol.

 

[Charmed Justice]

Yup. ENFP's a lot! (I've been on the receiving end of ENFP "intrigue" a couple times).

ISTPs

The bolded part is very correct. I wish ENFP's would give themselves the same benefit of the doubt they so willingly give others. Yeah. You guys have a lot of internal struggling you wrestle with. It's only during these rare times that you open up and share it that I notice. Wow. I just realized that as I typed it. Damn. Being an ENFP would wear me out! lol.

Ok, you're hired! To be my uh....sounding board and all.
That is very true though. The Battle of Armageddon is actually inside some ENFPs head. When we're down, or beside ourselves, we give others more credit than we give ourselves. We end up being very vulnerable and subject to mistreatment over the long-term.

 

[Rachelinpa]

Yup. ENFP's a lot! (I've been on the receiving end of ENFP "intrigue" a couple times).

The bolded part is very correct. I wish ENFP's would give themselves the same benefit of the doubt they so willingly give others. Yeah. You guys have a lot of internal struggling you wrestle with. It's only during these rare times that you open up and share it that I notice. Wow. I just realized that as I typed it. Damn. Being an ENFP would wear me out! lol.

yeah, it wears me out too!

ENFPs need to think out loud, right?

absolutely we do.

 

[BerberElla]

ISTPs


Ok, you're hired! To be my uh....sounding board and all.
That is very true though. The Battle of Armageddon is actually inside some ENFPs head. When we're down, or beside ourselves, we give others more credit than we give ourselves. We end up being very vulnerable and subject to mistreatment over the long-term.

Hah, I like that, captures my insides perfectly.

Oh, umm, lady ISTP's, where do you usually hang out? I need an ISTP sounding board friend.

 

[Rachelinpa]

Hah, I like that, captures my insides perfectly.

Oh, umm, lady ISTP's, where do you usually hang out? I need an ISTP sounding board friend.

you totally do. istps are the bestest ones.

 

[Poki]

Thats pretty much the role I took with an ENFP, I was a sound board. Now that I think about it I am a sound board to quite a few people.

 

[Clonester]

Step away from Teh Soshi1niks. Their type descriptions are very insightful. Their model theory is shit.

I don't agree with everything to do with socionics either. But it well describes how each type uses each function. Something I've seen very lacking in other personality type descriptors.

I do agree that a combination of two functions will have a different effect for a different type. But you're still underestimating Se in ENFP's. It has a use, particularly when an ENFP is in a self-reflective state like the OP's friend. I see it used in me. It's just not used nearly as often as our dominant function.

 

[Kalach]

I do agree that a combination of two functions will have a different effect for a different type. But you're still underestimating Se in ENFP's. It has a use, particularly when an ENFP is in a self-reflective state like the OP's friend. I see it used in me. It's just not used nearly as often as our dominant function.

And you're not willing to call it Si? I think I recall reading Jung thought Si was an oxymoron and didn't really exist, but still... why are seemingly so many ENFPs in Si-denial?

 

[INTP]

why are seemingly so many ENFPs in Si-denial?

maybe because the function is so weak usually that they cant recognice it very well?

 

[Amargith]

Who'd ve thought it was going to be ISTPs that had the answers when it comes to ENFPs...

Question: doesn't it wear ISTPs out to listen to the rambling of an ENFP? I mean..we're so different that the things we break our heads over are bound to seem so...ridiculous and unimportant to you, no?

 

[Charmed Justice]

I was wondering that too. Are we exhausting?

 

[Poki]

Who'd ve thought it was going to be ISTPs that had the answers when it comes to ENFPs...

Question: doesn't it wear ISTPs out to listen to the rambling of an ENFP? I mean..we're so different that the things we break our heads over are bound to seem so...ridiculous and unimportant to you, no?

I think I may smirk or chuckle a little at times, but unimportant, no. Its not our decision to decide whats important to you.

I was wondering that too. Are we exhausting?

Exhausting, No.

edit: now that I really think about it the frustration and the look comes across more as cute and I think thats what drives the smile or chuckle, not the ridiculous.

 

[StephMC]

^ As always, I agree with Poki. I may not always be able to relate, but if I sense something is genuinely bothering someone I care about, I -will- be there to listen. It's all about the genuineness. When other types complain about, say, an ex (in this case)... it sometimes comes across as bitching and whining, and doesn't appear as genuine hurt or pain. When ENFPs are upset about something, you can sense it from their entire being. And if that's the case, something that may ordinarily seem frivolous to ISTPs suddenly becomes important... because it -is- important to the ENFP.

Although I do admit I -sometimes- get exhausted with my ENFP sister. Only because I've listened to every detail about every serious relationship she's ever had for my entire life. However, those are the moments she just seems to be complaining... when I can tell she's seriously bothered about something, that's another story. Either way, I'm her sister, and I'll be there to listen regardless.

 

[Charmed Justice]

^She's lucky to have you listen to her complain.

Poki, it's good to hear we aren't exhausting to you. That's what I always wonder with my relationships with introverts. For me, I can be very quiet, very calm, even shy. But once I really get excited about a person, or become friends with them, I can go on and on. I invite people to tell me to shut up.

 

[ChocolateMoose123]

Who'd ve thought it was going to be ISTPs that had the answers when it comes to ENFPs...

Question: doesn't it wear ISTPs out to listen to the rambling of an ENFP? I mean..we're so different that the things we break our heads over are bound to seem so...ridiculous and unimportant to you, no?

I think it's in our natures to listen. We are born listeners. I have to say what is annoying - and this is with any type but one of my ENFP friends does this ALL the time- is when I decide to speak or answer a question in response to listening for a while and I get no eye contact. I always have to ask if he's listening to me and then he gets frustrated and says that "He can do more than one thing at a time!" That's kind of a big thing with me. Don't know if other ISTP's are similar. Er..but yeah. I agree with Poki's post. Pretty right on.