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  1. #1
    Senior Member LindseyLadybug's Avatar
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    Default ENFP + INFJ = Good Roommates?

    I'm an INFJ and next semester I'm planning on rooming with one of my new ENFP friends. We've been friends for about 7 months but have already opened up to each other and become close. She is incredibly kind to and considerate of others. She's actually really good at reading me already. For example, one time we were at a social event and I got quiet all of a sudden. She simply walked up to me and put her hand on my arm and said, "Hey, you need to relax. It's okay." Another time I became quiet in her room and she put her hand on my shoulder and asked, "Do you need to go back now? You seem tired." Few people have been able to distinguish my moods so accurately. She tells me I'm able to read her really well too. We're both in a social/service organization at our university but have no classes together. Oh, I should mention that I have an ESFP mom so I am (or at least I think I am) used to the E and P differences.

    Any suggestions for making our rooming together more harmonious?
    "Life is like a box of crayons. Most people are the 8-color boxes, but what you're really looking for are the 64-color boxes...I fancy myself to be a 64-color box...I can only meet the 8-color boxes...I mean there are so many different colors of life, of feeling, of articulation...so when I meet someone who's an 8-color type... I'm like, "Hey girl, magenta!" and she's like, "Oh, you mean purple!" and she goes off on her purple thing, and I'm like, "No - I want magenta!" -John Mayer

  2. #2
    Senior Member 2XtremeENFP's Avatar
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    I have an INFJ best friend, and I think she annoys me more than I annoy her. A week trip sharing a hotel room was torture for me. Her wanted to sleep, me wanting to stay up after a night out and watch TV.

    Being used to E and P differences is a good thing to get used to.. but can you get used to her as a person's E and P. That's what most important.

    Is there anything that she does now that can annoy you?

  3. #3
    Senior Member LindseyLadybug's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 2XtremeENFP View Post
    I have an INFJ best friend, and I think she annoys me more than I annoy her. A week trip sharing a hotel room was torture for me. Her wanted to sleep, me wanting to stay up after a night out and watch TV.

    Being used to E and P differences is a good thing to get used to.. but can you get used to her as a person's E and P. That's what most important.

    Is there anything that she does now that can annoy you?
    Well, I stay up late too. We actually go to bed around the same time which is 11pm or 12pm. We're both night owls. She has a rule with her current roommate that if one of them falls asleep during a tv show, the other can finish watching the show at a low volume but if one of them is sleeping, the other cannot turn on the tv. And she already told me the show she has to watch so I can plan accordingly.

    Good point. She seems pretty subdued for an extrovert. At least, more so than my mom. She loves being around people but she still gets self-conscious and nervous at times...if that makes sense. Most of the time we hang out, it's one-on-one and if we're in a group, it's usually 3 or 4 people...no more than 10. She's also a lot less P than my mom.
    "Life is like a box of crayons. Most people are the 8-color boxes, but what you're really looking for are the 64-color boxes...I fancy myself to be a 64-color box...I can only meet the 8-color boxes...I mean there are so many different colors of life, of feeling, of articulation...so when I meet someone who's an 8-color type... I'm like, "Hey girl, magenta!" and she's like, "Oh, you mean purple!" and she goes off on her purple thing, and I'm like, "No - I want magenta!" -John Mayer

  4. #4
    Magical BlackCat's Avatar
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    You should live with other Js or other Ps (if you're P). Another introvert would be preferable for you as well. I'm living with an INTP and it's quite excellent, we live at the same pace and understand the other's procrastination etc, we just *get* each other's living styles. And the conversations are great.

    I mean sure you're both NFs, you both will understand each other, but you don't share E/I and J/P, which are the two most important IMO for living with someone.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

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  5. #5
    Senior Member Clonester's Avatar
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    As long as the ENFP has other social outlets so you get a bit of downtime, it'll be great. I get along very well with INFJ's.
    ENFP Male: E-74% N-95% F-58% P-84% 3w2
    "I feel there are two people inside me - me and my intuition. If I go against her, she'll screw me every time, and if I follow her, we get along quite nicely." -Kim Basinger

  6. #6
    Senior Member Rachelinpa's Avatar
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    I dunno. My best roommate was an ESTJ. Lots of space.

  7. #7
    Senior Member LindseyLadybug's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlackCat View Post
    You should live with other Js or other Ps (if you're P). Another introvert would be preferable for you as well. I'm living with an INTP and it's quite excellent, we live at the same pace and understand the other's procrastination etc, we just *get* each other's living styles. And the conversations are great.

    I mean sure you're both NFs, you both will understand each other, but you don't share E/I and J/P, which are the two most important IMO for living with someone.
    I see what you're saying but I think it'll be nice to balance things out because she's more likely to say, "Hey, this is what I've noticed. Did you want to talk about it?" I would think with two introverts, there wouldn't be very good communication...but I could be wrong. She never forces me out of my comfort zone. And she's somewhat spontaneous but definitely not as spontaneous as my mom. I think I might enjoy having someone who understands me. That kind of connection is very important to me, especially if I'll be living with her.
    "Life is like a box of crayons. Most people are the 8-color boxes, but what you're really looking for are the 64-color boxes...I fancy myself to be a 64-color box...I can only meet the 8-color boxes...I mean there are so many different colors of life, of feeling, of articulation...so when I meet someone who's an 8-color type... I'm like, "Hey girl, magenta!" and she's like, "Oh, you mean purple!" and she goes off on her purple thing, and I'm like, "No - I want magenta!" -John Mayer

  8. #8
    Senior Member LindseyLadybug's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Clonester View Post
    As long as the ENFP has other social outlets so you get a bit of downtime, it'll be great. I get along very well with INFJ's.

    Yes, she's doing an internship right now off campus. Then she'll be getting a job in the area. She's very mature in that she understands not everyone is like her and she usually adapts to her friends' preferences from time to time. For example, she knows I prefer one-on-one interaction and written communication so sometimes she'll suggest we do that.

    Would you be willing to describe the dynamics of your current/past relationships with INFJs?
    "Life is like a box of crayons. Most people are the 8-color boxes, but what you're really looking for are the 64-color boxes...I fancy myself to be a 64-color box...I can only meet the 8-color boxes...I mean there are so many different colors of life, of feeling, of articulation...so when I meet someone who's an 8-color type... I'm like, "Hey girl, magenta!" and she's like, "Oh, you mean purple!" and she goes off on her purple thing, and I'm like, "No - I want magenta!" -John Mayer

  9. #9
    Senior Member LindseyLadybug's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rachelinpa View Post
    I dunno. My best roommate was an ESTJ. Lots of space.
    What do you mean by "lots of space"?
    "Life is like a box of crayons. Most people are the 8-color boxes, but what you're really looking for are the 64-color boxes...I fancy myself to be a 64-color box...I can only meet the 8-color boxes...I mean there are so many different colors of life, of feeling, of articulation...so when I meet someone who's an 8-color type... I'm like, "Hey girl, magenta!" and she's like, "Oh, you mean purple!" and she goes off on her purple thing, and I'm like, "No - I want magenta!" -John Mayer

  10. #10
    Senior Member mockingbird's Avatar
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    Judging from your description of your friend, she seems like a mature and considerate person. The maturity of the person in question is a much more important factor in determining how well you can live together than their type, IMO.
    Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.
    ~ Groucho Marx

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