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  1. #11
    Glycerine
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    I have a fear of coming off sounding stupid and ignorant (but that's a given at times). Also, the idea of potentially offending others scares me to no end (even though I don't really know any of you).

  2. #12
    Phantonym
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    Quote Originally Posted by souffle View Post
    Any other NF's here feel the same way?
    Unfortunately, very much so. There are numerous times when I've started to reply to a thread, written quite long passages and then decided against posting it or I delete it quickly afterwards. The thing that bothers me the most and affects my posting is that my ideas/thoughts might be ridiculed and that I'd probably be pulverized by "experts" in arguments.

  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Edgar View Post
    Look into this:

    You own shares in Pfizer?

  4. #14
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    A lot of times, I feel that stuff I wrote down may not be correct or not significant enough to post it. That's what usually cause me to abandon my written posts half way. It seems that I want to keep up some kind of appearance even through it isn't likely that someone will be able to identify Ozz in real life.

    So yeah.. many responses that got posted are irrelevant and off topic like the one above.

  5. #15
    Uniqueorn William K's Avatar
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    I certainly can understand the way you feel. The anxiety can be so agonizing at times that it's almost physical.

    Personally, I tell myself that this is a learning experience. Much like the best way to improve your public speaking skills is to speak in public regularly. You need to figure out when you are content enough with what you have written to just click on the Submit Reply before your inner critic overanalyzes it. It's a very fine line sometimes.

    Actually, the worst thing that can happen (other than the occasional trolls) is that no one responds to your post at all. If someone corrects you over something, at least you can learn to avoid that mistake again. And from what I've seen, most of the people are very cool here unless you go over the line with personal insults.

    Oh yeah, and if you see a post that you agree with, use the "add to reputation" under that user's avatar. Imagine what a perk that will give you if someone agreed with your post.

  6. #16
    Senior Member souffle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by William K View Post
    I certainly can understand the way you feel. The anxiety can be so agonizing at times that it's almost physical.

    Personally, I tell myself that this is a learning experience. Much like the best way to improve your public speaking skills is to speak in public regularly. You need to figure out when you are content enough with what you have written to just click on the Submit Reply before your inner critic overanalyzes it. It's a very fine line sometimes.

    Actually, the worst thing that can happen (other than the occasional trolls) is that no one responds to your post at all. If someone corrects you over something, at least you can learn to avoid that mistake again. And from what I've seen, most of the people are very cool here unless you go over the line with personal insults.

    Oh yeah, and if you see a post that you agree with, use the "add to reputation" under that user's avatar. Imagine what a perk that will give you if someone agreed with your post.
    Yep, you expressed how I feel really well. And I definitely agree about when no one responds to your post. The first thing I will think, is that my post sucked so much that no one thought it relevant to answer. :rolli:

    I never knew about this 'add to reputation' tool. I'll have to look into that.

    Quote Originally Posted by Ozz
    A lot of times, I feel that stuff I wrote down may not be correct or not significant enough to post it. That's what usually cause me to abandon my written posts half way. It seems that I want to keep up some kind of appearance even through it isn't likely that someone will be able to identify Ozz in real life.

    So yeah.. many responses that got posted are irrelevant and off topic like the one above.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sky is BLUE!
    Unfortunately, very much so. There are numerous times when I've started to reply to a thread, written quite long passages and then decided against posting it or I delete it quickly afterwards. The thing that bothers me the most and affects my posting is that my ideas/thoughts might be ridiculed and that I'd probably be pulverized by "experts" in arguments.
    Yep! I've also neglected to finish and/or publish a few posts. Deleting can be soo tempting as well, especially if no one replies for a while.

    Quote Originally Posted by Pitseleh

    I have a fear of coming off sounding stupid and ignorant (but that's a given at times). Also, the idea of potentially offending others scares me to no end (even though I don't really know any of you).
    Yes, yes, yes. Unfortunately my fear of offending others is a little selfish though- I fear it mostly because I don't want to make myself look like a mean, offensive person and make people not like me. Well okay, not like my random, anonymous user profile.

    Quote Originally Posted by slumdogtrillionaire
    i dont have such a fear infact a little opposite. something like not being sufficiently engaged (intellectually) or having too esoteric an interest that no one else does or having too wide and balanced a view which no one wants to contribute too. it doesnt induce fear tho. i like the intellectual volley argument after argument.. heated arguments especially. lots of fun but come rarely.
    I also enjoy intellectual arguments.. as long as they don't become personal. This is what terrifies me.



    Nanook- those are some very interesting insights you have there as well.

    Thanks everyone for the responses so far! I'm really glad that people agree, makes me feel accepted!

  7. #17
    Senior Member Drezoryx's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by souffle View Post
    I also enjoy intellectual arguments.. as long as they don't become personal. This is what terrifies me.

    Thanks everyone for the responses so far! I'm really glad that people agree, makes me feel accepted!
    i cant agree more. . attack the message not the messenger!
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  8. #18
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    I often critique posts, but it's never meant as an attack on the poster. Nor does it mean that I think less of them . (That's reserved for those who have an affinity for personal attacks)

    I enjoy seeing the NF perspective on things. Don't be afraid to post.

  9. #19
    Nickle Iron Silicone Charmed Justice's Avatar
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    It's all very similar to real life. The more you open up, the more people come to respect and disrespect you.

    We NFs are very sensitive to how others, even random others, perceive us. We have a way of internalizing everything. Forums can be good practice in saying what's on your mind.
    There is a thinking stuff from which all things are made, and which, in its original state, permeates, penetrates, and fills the interspaces of the universe.

  10. #20
    a scream in a vortex nanook's Avatar
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    Default just talking to myself...

    Quote Originally Posted by nanook View Post
    so we are often slaves to previous intent, but what is that? where does it hide? it's selfimage, moral ideas. being a good person. not loosing affection. it's also the echo of a desicion we once made in a rather traumatic situation. the belive that we have to react to offenders more nasty than socially acceptable (so we cant actually do it on a message board) or the believe that we must play the angsty victim to survive. (for example)

    anything else?
    impatience.

    to compassionately allow other people their inner reactions, even if they are weak, wrong, hostile, ignorant... which is sub-optimal and sad, in the eye of compassion, but the important thing is, that compassion can still witness such things and accept them. it's to understand and grant the freedom, .... duh how can i say it? they are lost (we are too, but maybe in a better place), they don't have a chance to warp-jump from their place to the place of another insight, -- you cant blame them for how mental space is constructed. its to see that they want to progress, but fail for complicated reasons, rather than to believe that they want to sabotage progress, which is what they do, but only because they don't see it for what it is. basically you don't want them to please you (your position), but themselves.

    lets say i am doing wrong, speaking ill, mean no harm, plus speaking cant do objective harm anyway, but someone really hates it, and fears it, and comes back at me, knocks me out, virtually. i have to grant that from the heart, because it only reflects the actual truth at his space, something he has to live in. to witness this reality with compassion, "realize it" - it's the patience of the witness, the endurance that can hold this vision. its just a matter of time until the clouds change, but every bit of time must be granted.

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