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  1. #21

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lauren Ashley View Post
    *doorslams all ENTPs*
    None of 'em noticed.

  2. #22
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    But Matthew Z, there is a point when at the very end of our string, having exhausted all possibilities and all hope and when the other person has acted in a particular way that the door slams on them. Not even in an angry, emotion filled way. Just a click and a forever locked door.
    Yes, it seems like the inevitable unavoidable conclusion.

    We aren't that great at tough love because we often look for reasons why people may have behaved as they did, underlying messages, or are looking to confirm that our perceptions are indeed accurate before just quitting on a person. I think we are aware of it when we are being taken advantage of and do allow it if we feel there is something still to be figured out, but it's not because we don't know the difference.
    I found this fascinating, when i think of function use. My Ni/Fe are out of order for me (by the theory's standing), they're very strong, and I'm wondering how much of this deals with a combination of Ti, Fe, and Ni... spinning things around to get into other people's heads, caring about them as individuals within the relational context and not wanting to sunder things, and using conceptual logic to understand the situation and puzzle through what to do next.

    What you wrote here is something I struggle with myself. I'm fully aware of what is going on, I just don't want to act prematurely, treat someone else unfairly, or sunder things unnecessarily... for both intellectual as well as emotional reasons.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  3. #23
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    When an employer exploits me, I quit and do everything in my power to not have to go back. I am not aware of doing a door-slam in a personal context. I might quit communicating and initiating, but that isn't a door-slam. There are times I finally give up after trying everything, but if they approached me, that would be fine. Sometimes I re-distribute my emotional energy, but that has nothing to do with rejection.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

    I want to be just like my mother, even if she is bat-shit crazy.

  4. #24
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
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    we just get too easily off-balanced when we are around something destructive that offers no hope of positive change. once it is hopeless, we are done for. we can not live in the shadow of hopelessness, and we will do everything in our power to search for it, find it, actualize it, etc.

    until we get balanced Fe input/output strength, an equilibrium between efficacy/expression and listening to others/reading them, we are too easily squashed by negativity. and once that equilibrium improves and Ti function goes up, we can more easily get back on track, take more value(evaluation) for granted, know what we care about even when we don't FEEL it in the same way due to our clouded Fe, and stay on-course even with the heavy winds.

    also, we can be very difficult, fickle, and persnickety. three words seem better than one.

  5. #25
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by the state i am in View Post
    we just get too easily off-balanced when we are around something destructive that offers no hope of positive change. once it is hopeless, we are done for. we can not live in the shadow of hopelessness, and we will do everything in our power to search for it, find it, actualize it, etc.

    ...

    also, we can be very difficult, fickle, and persnickety. three words seem better than one.
    No name-calling.

    Yeah, I totally agree with this post.

  6. #26
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    I identify with a lot of what Z Buck McFate said!

    Jennifer, how does your function order compare to the typical INFJ's? I'm not familiar yet enough with the order of things to be able to make comparisons.

  7. #27
    Senior Member The Outsider's Avatar
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    I likely wouldn't care nor notice. Negativity goes both ways, and I just don't bother with people I don't like.

  8. #28
    Member tetsuwanatom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kyi View Post
    . He had also NEVER told me how he felt during our relationship, so there was no way of me ever being able to know what was wrong and try to fix it, because I would have been more than willing to do so.

    When we broke up, he pretty much unfriended me on Myspace/Facebook, blocked me, and deleted every single post and picture of us.
    Quote Originally Posted by firstjudge View Post
    I'm definitely guilty of doing this. I do it mostly out of self-defense - people can be so aggressive and controlling at times without even realizing it. I have a tendency to get overwhelmed by people who keep expecting and wanting something from you, something you can't or no longer wish to offer. The harder they try, the more I pull away. If someone is having negative effects on my state of mind, or is trying to take away my independence (whether intentionally or not), then I have to put an end to it.

    It's nothing personal, though I understand it's often taken that way.
    Quote Originally Posted by Kyi View Post
    But he did say he felt that he felt like we were bringing each other down. He didn't seem at all affected by the break up, and left it really easily
    My INFJ friend is like this too. In certain conflict situations, he finds it VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY difficult to tell the other person what is wrong, why is it wrong and why is he hurting. He would tell other close friends, but not the person he has the problem with. Eventually, he would write the person a very long email.

    Before that though, there would be some cold-shouldering where you kinda know something is wrong but you don't know what, and when you ask him he'll say something like he's tired or this or that, and nothing to do with what triggered him off.

    Usually the other person doesn't realise how much she/he is dragging down said INFJ by their expectations or their demands. My friend said sometimes he feels like everybody is pulling at his leg, demanding stuff from him, and he gets so overwhelmed.

    The blocking and banning from facebook/msn/etc... is what he does when he's already decided to cut off that person from his life. But the cutting-off by an INFJ is not the same as the cutting-off by some other types, because I think the INFJ would usually still be willing to talk to the other person and would be more receptive to being friends again----AFTER they have made peace with the inner you (who they had the conflict with) in their minds.

    On the other hand, my ISTP self would already be gallavanting to new lands and forgot that she automatically filtered all your emails to the spam box... and she probably lost her cellphone too so you couldnt call her... and she has multiple google/msn accounts.... and well... she would talk to you, but the experience she had with you has already been incorporated into her broad and all-encompassing Ti system and now, oops sorry, can't talk to you anymore, have to go... uhmm... for an appointment... yes... bye! have a nice life!

    Oh, and i find that that the people INFJ "cut off" with, sometimes they still try to maintain some Fe civility with in social contexts---like saying hi and bye, or just small talk. With me, it would be a complete ignore if i found myself in a situation with them...

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