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  1. #1
    Nickle Iron Silicone Charmed Justice's Avatar
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    Default P is for Perfectionism

    I'm a fairly freewheeling P with the a serious perfectionist streak. I've realized that a lot of my spontaneity, a lot of my ideas, have been killed by a deeply ingrained fear of failure. It's sporadic though, I can't really find a pattern to it all. A lot of times(most of the time?), I do random things that may not make sense to most people in my life, but I approach the situation with confidence and optimism. Other times though, I hesitate and sit on something for months or even years for fear that I may make some horrible, irrevocable error. But situations almost always work out as I hope, so I'm not sure where the fear of failure originates.
    Any other NPs suffer from random bouts of anxiety fueled perfectionism that prevent them from acting in a way that feels authentic?
    There is a thinking stuff from which all things are made, and which, in its original state, permeates, penetrates, and fills the interspaces of the universe.

  2. #2
    12 and a half weeks BerberElla's Avatar
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    Sounds exactly like me, although my fear of failure has become more extreme in the last year, to the point that I'm not even trying anymore.

    Sometimes I believe I can write, that I'm gifted at spinning a fantasy world that people will want to vist, other times I feel I need lessons, professional advice, that I'm just good enough. It has to be perfect or it has to be nothing, and because of this I do seize up alot.

    Other times leap in with no fear and come out on top, the newer the thing the better because I have yet to start seeing myself as not perfect enough, once I've tried it a few times I start to set the bar higher, to place perfectionism so far out of reach and I just let it go again.

    I'm trying hard to overcome these moments, but then again the overcoming has to be perfect so of course I seize up on that too.
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  3. #3
    Nickle Iron Silicone Charmed Justice's Avatar
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    Berbs, I can relate to your entire post. I talk myself out of so many things, and convince myself that I need more of everything in order to do something: time, money, space, people, excitement, information.

    I mean, I actually do get a hell of a lot accomplished, but there's always something more that I want to do. Something bigger. And it's almost like it just takes me waking up one morning, not thinking at all, and just having some random burst of energy to accomplish it. It's like, the more I think about something, the less I know, and the less I do.
    There is a thinking stuff from which all things are made, and which, in its original state, permeates, penetrates, and fills the interspaces of the universe.

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by BerberElla View Post
    Other times leap in with no fear and come out on top, the newer the thing the better because I have yet to start seeing myself as not perfect enough, once I've tried it a few times I start to set the bar higher, to place perfectionism so far out of reach and I just let it go again.
    This seems like a circle

    I dont think Ps are types that can push through things as good as Js can. We tend to back off sooner.

    My opposite of N is that I generally go in to everything without goals, I use my energy to push me until the desire is gone. I get obsessed and give it my all, but dont really have any goals to achieve. If my desire stays up there my energy seems to follow and I can keep pushing pretty hard, but still have no real goals as to what im pushing for. When my desire stops I have a real hard time pushing. I dont really think about goals, just trying to make the process fun.

    I can still be a perfectionist even though I dont have goals. I want the quality to be there, but dont really have a goal.

  5. #5
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    This is just like in job interviews when they ask you what is your weakness.

    And the scripted answer is "I'm a perfectionist." Everyone's a perfectionist! It means nothing and anything at the same time, which is why it's such a great answer.

    Ooh! I thought of something new to add to my resume!

    "Promoted/Encouraged sales opportunities," aka I was ruthless, mercenary, and mowed other sales reps down when I thought I had a customer spending $200+ within my grasp.
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
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  6. #6
    Senior Member Liminality's Avatar
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    If it's not perfect, what's the point in starting? Is somewhat my philosophy.

    There are so many possibilities, threads, open ends, and how are we to know which is correct? There are so many it can be a comfort to find something concrete and unchanging.
    Come along Fool
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    It's not that it's bad, it's not that it's death
    It's just on the tip of your tongue, and you're so silent

  7. #7
    Nickle Iron Silicone Charmed Justice's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by poki View Post
    This seems like a circle
    I dont think Ps are types that can push through things as good as Js can. We tend to back off sooner.
    I can still be a perfectionist even though I dont have goals. I want the quality to be there, but dont really have a goal.
    I think we back off sooner, but we also pick up more, so there's more for us to leave behind, ya know? We want to experience so much, so we dabble in a million different things. Once I'm really into something and get that unexplainable and uncontrollable urge to act, like you said, it's like an obsession. I wont stop until I've done it. Sometimes I have stated goals, but other times I just see something that interest me, or think of something, and I push towards it. But the perfectionism is sometimes so severe that I will drop something, knowing I want it, simply because I stop believing that I can do it "right".
    There is a thinking stuff from which all things are made, and which, in its original state, permeates, penetrates, and fills the interspaces of the universe.

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by EnFpFer View Post
    I think we back off sooner, but we also pick up more, so there's more for us to leave behind, ya know? We want to experience so much, so we dabble in a million different things. Once I'm really into something, like you said, it's like an obsession. I wont stop until I've done it. Sometimes I have stated goals, but other times I just see something that interest me, or think of something, and I push towards it. But the perfectionism is sometimes so severe that I will drop something, knowing I want it, simply because I stop believing that I can do it "right".
    I really like my dads company when I dont feel like I can do things "right". I feel like with him we can tackle any "job" whether it be handyman stuff, yard work, fixing cars, building things. Without him I question some of my abilities to do things right. To me thats what the people in our life are for. My dad calls me anytime he needs me to bounce ideas off of or just needs a hand. I think its because our functions and thought processes are so different. We are both T so we get stuck in F(female) things.

    If it wasnt for the Father/Son thing I dont think a connection would have been created between us because we dont really hang out much and just talk about life. Our viewpoints are to different(P vs J), but when we have a job to get done, we can do anything together. Sometimes just having him there is help enough.

  9. #9
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Liminality View Post
    If it's not perfect, what's the point in starting? Is somewhat my philosophy.
    Huh. And I guess I tend to take it as a given that things/I will never be perfect. But I don't shy away from that fact...it's simply a truth that I accept, and I carry on with my life and don't let it stop me. The idea of not doing something perfectly has never stopped me in my tracks, I guess. Hopefully I improve over time with whatever I'm attempting to do, and if in the end I tire of it, or realize I will always royally suck at it and it's useless, then I tire of it and that's that. But that's my philosophy.
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

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  10. #10
    Nickle Iron Silicone Charmed Justice's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by poki View Post
    I really like my dads company when I dont feel like I can do things "right".
    Yea, I have a few people I can go to when I slow myself down. It's so important to have that. That's awesome your dad is that person. Good stuff.

    Quote Originally Posted by Liminality View Post
    If it's not perfect, what's the point in starting? Is somewhat my philosophy.
    When I'm just vegging out, I'm guessing this is what's going through my head.
    There is a thinking stuff from which all things are made, and which, in its original state, permeates, penetrates, and fills the interspaces of the universe.

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