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  1. #31
    Senior Member Drezoryx's Avatar
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    ^ LOL

    i repeat

    ^^ that post bugs me...just sayin...

    that attitude of needing to do it the "right" way..blech

    people just have different strengths ya know...
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  2. #32
    Reptilian Snuggletron's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sad Lounge View Post
    I think it needs to be pointed out that
    I think the problem is that since P's aren't goal-oriented, they don't know what they want. They do know what they don't want or like, and that's where the perfectionism comes in. And since they can't motivate themselves the way J's can, they stop. They don't have the will-power to push themselves through to the end. Once the inspiration is gone, the action is gone, and they move on to something else, and the cycle repeats. This can also be attributed to their impulsivity.

    Any thoughts?
    it's fair to say this may hold some truth, at least from my own account. I'm known to not start 'x' at all because of my lack of knowing whether or not I'll hold the same motivation all the way through or not. It can be embarrassing when you start something big, get excited and alert the entire universe, and then a bit later decide you want to do something else.

    This equals a 'LAZY' or 'UNCOMMITTED' label. I'm not sure if being an NFP magnifies this problem, but it seems to.

  3. #33
    Uniqueorn William K's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sad Lounge View Post
    I was the kind of kid who would get a 97% on a test and obsess about the 3 questions I got wrong instead of the 97 I got right. I wouldn't give myself enough credit.

    I thought P's didn't care enough to be perfectionists. They seem so easy-going and flexible, that I could see them going "That's good enough."
    Well for me, it depends on whether something is important enough. When I was in school, I knew I was smart enough to pass all my subjects with minimal studying, so I'd just study perhaps a couple of days before each exam. My parents would usually be tearing their hair out and biting their fingernails. But when the results come out, I'd usually score in the 70s to 80s. Would I get a much higher score if I studied more? Maybe but I didn't really care for it at all. Why spend 100% of effort and time to get 85%, when I can spend 50% of effort, enjoy life and still get 75%?

    Similarly in my IT research work now, my boss knows that I'm good at developing algorithms and prototypes but not when it comes to the itty-bitty details of making it ready for the market. So, he pairs me up with someone(s) who can polish off all the rough edges and makes it into a product.

    The time I have trouble with perfectionism, is when I have to communicate with other people. For example, every single word that I'm writing in this reply is going through an extremely harsh internal critic who will question how anyone reading is going to react and what impression I am giving them. It doesn't even matter if what I'm saying is 'correct'. As long as there is room for questions and criticisms, the self-doubt will start creeping in and I'll try to make the words as perfect as possible. A lot of times, the self-doubt is so bad that I'll just give up and keep my thoughts to myself.

  4. #34
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    I do understand where your coming from. Sometimes when you get in your head, the optimistic nature can see all the different ways that a situation could work out to be perfect. How everything can tie together to create this master piece. How every person can fit, what they can provide. But things keep coming up, the master piece is never realized, people let you down, things get screwed up. You being a dynamic person keep trying to flex, to bend, but eventually have to give up on this "perfection".

    Is this what your talking about?

  5. #35
    Senior Member Clonester's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sad Lounge View Post
    I know that I would get frustrated with myself if I thought I wasn't putting enough effort into something, because I set impossibly high standards for myself. I was the kind of kid who would get a 97% on a test and obsess about the 3 questions I got wrong instead of the 97 I got right. I wouldn't give myself enough credit.

    I thought P's didn't care enough to be perfectionists. They seem so easy-going and flexible, that I could see them going "That's good enough."

    I think the problem is that since P's aren't goal-oriented, they don't know what they want. They do know what they don't want or like, and that's where the perfectionism comes in. And since they can't motivate themselves the way J's can, they stop. They don't have the will-power to push themselves through to the end. Once the inspiration is gone, the action is gone, and they move on to something else, and the cycle repeats. This can also be attributed to their impulsivity.
    1- Your 97% test example is exactly the same as me. I find my perfectionism is very private. I expect it of myself. Not of others. And other probably don't know I expect it of myself.

    2- P's are easygoing and flexible in many ways. It's more we like to keep our schedules open. But I NEVER go 'that's good enough.'

    3- WHOA. "P's aren't goal oriented." WHAT?! I'm ALL ABOUT GOALS. I set goals all the time for myself in all areas of my life. And I work VERY hard to reach my goals. I thought that setting goals was very much an all across the board NF trait, regardless of the J or P. And certainly an N trait since N's always think future.
    ENFP Male: E-74% N-95% F-58% P-84% 3w2
    "I feel there are two people inside me - me and my intuition. If I go against her, she'll screw me every time, and if I follow her, we get along quite nicely." -Kim Basinger

  6. #36
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Clonester View Post
    1- Your 97% test example is exactly the same as me. I find my perfectionism is very private. I expect it of myself. Not of others. And other probably don't know I expect it of myself.

    2- P's are easygoing and flexible in many ways. It's more we like to keep our schedules open. But I NEVER go 'that's good enough.'

    3- WHOA. "P's aren't goal oriented." WHAT?! I'm ALL ABOUT GOALS. I set goals all the time for myself in all areas of my life. And I work VERY hard to reach my goals. I thought that setting goals was very much an all across the board NF trait, regardless of the J or P. And certainly an N trait since N's always think future.
    yep totally...that's just like me too
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  7. #37
    Nickle Iron Silicone Charmed Justice's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    yep totally...that's just like me too
    Me too. I have goals and all. They usually aren't very specific though, and I can and will drop them when something else comes my way that seems more interesting or profitable in some way. We are so misunderstood.
    There is a thinking stuff from which all things are made, and which, in its original state, permeates, penetrates, and fills the interspaces of the universe.

  8. #38
    Senior Member Drezoryx's Avatar
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    @op this thread is dragging on and manifesting the exact qualities u r complaining about. do u want a closure or just dilatory discussion? from the seriousness of the issue described in op it seemed like u wanted decent understanding and a closure to take some action IRL.
    Type 8 sx/sp/so
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  9. #39
    Senior Member groovejet02's Avatar
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    YES YES YES

  10. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by EnFpFer View Post
    Me too. I have goals and all. They usually aren't very specific though, and I can and will drop them when something else comes my way that seems more interesting or profitable in some way. We are so misunderstood.
    This is one of the scary things about ENFPs. I had a conversation with my wife about something that she had done and how it affects what I see and think. I was explaining how when you realize what some people are capable of, you not only see what they can do, but how it can turn on you. At this point all you have left is trust, trust that this person will not use it in a malicious way against you. The only people in life you can trust are the ones that love you. These are the people who I have noticed will not turn on you because of fear of losing that love.

    I hide what I am capable of alot because I dont want people to fear it.

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