Wow Ne-Monster, you really have studied us. I pretty much agree with everything you said, except:
Also, sometimes this is done to protect the recipient. This just happened to me today, so I have some frame of reference. I was on the phone with someone who seemed a bit snarky with me, so I excused myself and hung up quickly. This is because I genuinely like this person and my first instinct is to fight snark with even more snark (I guess the one-upping thing?) I didn't want to take it there, so I left the situation in order to protect the innocent.
Maybe this is true, but I don't do it consciously. If I am engaged, I will engage you. If I am put off, I will not engage you. But I don't do this to control. It has more to do with what I stated above. I guess I just like things to be happy and pleasant at all times. If something is a downer or draining, I tend to just avoid it.5. Control-they use Fe to control others by social inclusion/exclusion. One of my faves actually would physically touch my back to bring me into a conversation, then withdrew touch when I said something he did not agree with. I watched him do this with several others throughout the night. When they need to control others Fe is the tool they use.
I've never seen this in action, but I'll take your word for it. I can't imagine myself this way, though. I guess the females are different?7. The older males seem overly submissive to authority figures. They are very unwilling to step outside of the proper chain of command. It is really odd as my wacked out Te has no such problem.
Ok, lying... No, I don't lie. But sometimes, I will omit something to humor someone and get out of a situation. Like if I know for sure that an unpleasant conversation has no end in sight and I feel like gnawing my own foot off to escape... For instance, if someone is angry at me and says "You did x, y and z" and I feel that they are totally off base, I will acknowledge something in such a way that the person may believe that I am apologizing for the entire thing, unless they take the time to listen to my actual words. Which, in my experience, many people (especially NFPs) are not capable of doing. Often "I see why you would say that, and why that would make you upset" is mistaken for an apology when really it is just an acknowledgment of your mental state.8. Lying???? This one is really odd and just crossed my mind the other day. I was reading the catcher in the rye. Very often the kid would get stuck in these situations and then propose an idea, only to follow the thought with "that was a total lie, and I would never actually do that, but I dont know know why I said it" I wonder if as entps are growing into Fe sometimes it cuases them to blurt things out to soothe social discontent, to make others happy, but in reality they dont mean it or mean to follow up on it. Fe5-I would do anything to maintain my close relationships with others
However, as for the Holden Caufield reference... yeah, I can see myself making empty promises to make someone feel better - but this is done very sparingly. This is something I do when I visit an elderly person and promise to visit more often, knowing full well I have no intention of doing so. But I think every person does this to some degree. And again, this is very rare - with me, at least.
Also, I agree with Serengeti - I buy very expensive handbags, sunglasses and shoes because they are made well and will last. And I fucking HATE shopping. I want my purchase to be as timeless and well constructed as a Chanel suit. There are cheap throwaway things that I buy, but mainly when I recognize that this thing is just a fad and I won't wear again after the current season. So that's how I end up with quality items mixed with cheap shit.