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[INFP] Why I didn't want to be an INFP

B

brainheart

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Did he take one look at the results or one look at your head?

Sorry, I couldn't help myself...
 

Totenkindly

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I tested as an INFP when I was sixteen.... I was a total INFP child... and yet I have spent the last nine months trying to prove to myself and others that I am a succession of other personality types- INTP, INFJ, INTJ, ISFP, ISTP, ENFP.

Why? Why am/was I so adamant against being an INFP?

Possibilities:

1. They can seem so full of themselves sometimes... elitist, condescending, superior, judgmental, etc, or at the least, profoundly self-absorbed. (Pot calling the kettle black? :doh:)

2. It seems like such a cliche to be an INFP, especially when you are a writer (which I am) and have thought about being an English teacher, musician, artist. I want to be a contradiction, not one of the mold, which is such an INFP thing, non? :rolleyes:

3. I am not spiritual.

4. I don't have a deep-seated desire to help others, although I am constantly rescuing insects, mice, etc.

I know there's more, but I don't feel like expounding at the moment. Besides, I'm curious as to whether other's have had this issue, INFP or not.

Have any of you not wanted to be the type you actually are?

I love being who I am (which is INTP with an insane focus on N and a pretty strong Fe sense). I love how when I look at the world it is just a magical place, because I'm looking at how it all interconnects; I see past connected to present to future, I see everything as a continuum of change, I see where things will end up instantaneously, I understand things in intuitive flashes, I make good decisions because I think well and am not swept away by strong emotions....

...but sometimes I wish socializing was easier for me, just making connections without having to work so damn hard all the time.

I wish I could exude more warmth, so people knew that I loved them rather than it being trapped inside so often.

I wish it was easier for me to give of my money, time, and energy.

I wish I wasn't so fair all the time, I wish I could prioritize myself higher in my mind rather than always. I tire of being "rational" sometimes. I wish I could just be myopic on occasion, rather than the one who sees what has to be done for the greater good and then doing it first.

I wish I could hold grudges more often, I wish I could let myself be angry longer, but as soon as the situation changes, I have to change to accommodate it, and if someone is truly sorry, even if they're going to screw up again and again, I can't help but forgive them because that's fair or because I believe that no one else's behavior should have bearing on my own.

I wish I could make decisions easier and without having to consider all the nuance, sometimes it makes it hard for me to get things done.

I wish I could be happy finishing tasks rather than fearing I lopped something off in my attempts to complete it.

I wish I could move to a new place in life and be happy, rather than always crying inside because of what I have to leave behind. Every joy comes with a loss.

I wish I wasn't so happy and so empty being alone all the time.

You know, stuff like that.

... I think INFPs have some issues like everyone else, but they're also pretty cool people. We are who we are.
 

Happyman

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Hey, I've just gone through the whole thread and I must say that I LOVE IT! :)
That's like a great story about self-discovery.

Oh, and I wouldn't be surprised that 'so many INFPs are showing up', I'd say that NF-types must be overrepresented at forums like that. After all we're all into search for self. Just check the number of posts on all of the quadras - NFs rule. ;)
 

JivinJeffJones

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I think telling someone they're "mule-headed" is a great sneaky way to get them onside. It sounds like an insult (and thus gets past the flattery-filters), but will almost always be taken as a compliment. And how many people really consider themselves tractable? Nobody is likely to dispute it with any conviction.
 

phthalocyanine

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Well, most people will call it stubborness :)
I did a profiling test (DISC) for my job once, and the guy who administered the test took one look at the results and said I was mule-headed


well, of course an employer would see it in a negative light.

they want to be able to guide their worker bees, and not have a pesky sense of personal morale on the workers' parts to have to work around.
 

OrangeAppled

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^ Something I've noticed is that you can choose to see qualities in a negative or positive light. Is it moral courage or stubbornness? Often times, what annoys people about a MBTI type goes hand in hand with their strengths.
 

JivinJeffJones

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^ Something I've noticed is that you can choose to see qualities in a negative or positive light. Is it moral courage or stubbornness? Often times, what annoys people about a MBTI type goes hand in hand with their strengths.

I agree to a point, but I still think far, far more people will feel better about being called "mule-headed" than "tractable". Especially the tractable ones. The mule-headed ones will just think the guy is really good at his job to have them so pegged. You can't lose.

Edit: not saying you aren't mule-headed, William K.
 

Totenkindly

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^ Something I've noticed is that you can choose to see qualities in a negative or positive light. Is it moral courage or stubbornness? Often times, what annoys people about a MBTI type goes hand in hand with their strengths.

Pretty much, that's the problem. Every coin has two sides.

Gotta accept the bad with the good.
 

neptunesnet

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I guess that is why I take offense at the whiny label. I'm not allowed to be whiny even if I wanted to be. And yet, I hear tons of whining all around me. I'm the person to call up when you want to whine and get some support, because I will actually listen to people and not trivialize their feelings. I rarely get that kind of support returned to me though, and if I ask for it or fall for whatever trick they're throwing at me to "open up", then apparently I am self-absorbed.

Me too.
:hug:
 

Bubbles

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I guess that is why I take offense at the whiny label. I'm not allowed to be whiny even if I wanted to be. And yet, I hear tons of whining all around me. I'm the person to call up when you want to whine and get some support, because I will actually listen to people and not trivialize their feelings. I rarely get that kind of support returned to me though, and if I ask for it or fall for whatever trick they're throwing at me to "open up", then apparently I am self-absorbed.

Funny, I get this a lot too! Hmmm.
 

ChocolateMoose123

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One of the most gifted writers I know is a tested INFP. I'm in awe of his ability to wield words.

INFP's are some of the most genuinely nice people I've ever met. Very loyal. Always with a quick witty joke. Pervy. :yes:
 

Udog

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Always with a quick witty joke. Pervy. :yes:

I don't know what you are talking about. Why don't you come alittle bit closer and say that. :whistling:
 

ChocolateMoose123

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:smooch:

I once confided in my INFP friend for a shoulder to whine on and he slapped me silly and made me call my mama. :cry: That Fi doesn't hold back.
 

Udog

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:smooch:

I once confided in my INFP friend for a shoulder to whine on and he slapped me silly and made me call my mama. :cry: That Fi doesn't hold back.

Fi isn't usually that blunt unless we love ya or hate ya. If we hate ya, it's so you don't ever come to us again. If we love ya, it's a huge sign of respect, as we think you can handle what we have to say and appreciate the truth as we see it.

For what it's worth, the opposite side of the dynamic holds true for me as well. My ISTP friend is able to cut through my BS quicker than anyone I know. It really forced me to be more honest with myself about why I did some of the things I did. That was a tough lesson for me, but I'm better for it.
 

ChocolateMoose123

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^ That's good to know. Because I was taken aback by it. I've known him for 10 years so I'm sure he doesn't hate me. In fact, he has drunk dialed me many a night and asked me to make out with him. :laugh: :rolleyes: He is a trip.
 

ChocolateMoose123

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:yim_rolling_on_the_

He would always call the next day apologizing. I never took it seriously. I'm like, "Whatever. You were drunk. It happens."
 

Udog

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^ That's good to know. Because I was taken aback by it. I've known him for 10 years so I'm sure he doesn't hate me. In fact, he has drunk dialed me many a night and asked me to make out with him. :laugh: :rolleyes: He is a trip.

Wait, the drunk dialing thing doesn't work? :confused: My world is in shambles.

If it was an ongoing thing where you kept on putting yourself in a situation that was causing you pain, he may have been trying to splash some cold water on ya. When I see people make the same decisions that lead to the same emotional consequences over and over, I do one of two things:

1) I splash some Fi cold water on their face in hopes they snap out of it.
2) I say nothing, and start pushing them out of my life.

Or more frequently, try number one and revert to number two when the person doesn't listen, repeats their mistakes, and still wishes for me to be their listening ear. As is often the case with us NPs, we are usually blunt with the people we respect, otherwise it's not worth the effort. :)

I don't like the picture that is emerging. :doh:

What picture is that? Clearly once she drops the ESTP the INFP is going to win her over with one of his perverted comments or romantic drunken calls. :D
 

Cranky

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Wait, the drunk dialing thing doesn't work? :confused: My world is in shambles.

If it was an ongoing thing where you kept on putting yourself in a situation that was causing you pain, he may have been trying to splash some cold water on ya. When I see people make the same decisions that lead to the same emotional consequences over and over, I do one of two things:

1) I splash some Fi cold water on their face in hopes they snap out of it.
2) I say nothing, and start pushing them out of my life.

Or more frequently, try number one and revert to number two when the person doesn't listen, repeats their mistakes, and still wishes for me to be their listening ear. As is often the case with us NPs, if we are usually blunt with the people we respect, otherwise it's not worth the effort. :)



What picture is that? Clearly once she drops the ESTP the INFP is going to win her over with one of his perverted comments or romantic drunken calls. :D

An INFP wielding perverted comments and romantic drunken calls would at LEAST get a second look from me.
 

Udog

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So it's official: Drunken calls looking for nookie and perverted comments are the secret success formula for the INFP male. Book it!
 
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