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  1. #71
    Senior Member Scott N Denver's Avatar
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    I don't feel like I have much to add, but I'll throw a little in...

    Whether its my background or being more analytical, or having been pushed really hard, or having been in some rather bad situations, or all of the above, or others, but I will say that one thing that has always helped for me, at least with objective situations is to look at a situation and ask "Ok, what is the best that I can really do here??? How can I achieve that? Ok, formulate plan and implement it." There are others things where I'm really not good at that. For example, I keep wanting people to change and be more friendly, polite, open, caring, etc. But plenty of people [cough, NTJ's, cough] don't place positive value on those things, and further see them as detrimental or dangerous [cough, STJ's too, cough].

    Our idealism. Goodness it knows no bounds sometimes...
    Followed by "if I just tried more, my idealistic visions/desires would materialize, I MUST try harder "

    I know people that when your feeling down you can talk to them and they'll listen and say your piece, others are like "quit your whining! look how good you have it, you whiny loser, now shut up! Your whininess insults and offends me! " :steam: :steam: :steam: I guess thats not really adding anything, I just wanted to reiterate it

    I think we look for "openings" to help others [moral encouragement and the like], but when we need said encouragement and "put out signs" displaying that, others don't recognize the signs or don't care. So we feel like it's not a two-way street, and then those relationships feel unsymmetrical/unfair. And thats makes us upset "We tried [and probably succeeded! ]for you, so why won't you try for us???"

  2. #72
    See Right Through Me Bubbles's Avatar
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    I tested as an INFP when I was sixteen.... I was a total INFP child... and yet I have spent the last nine months trying to prove to myself and others that I am a succession of other personality types- INTP, INFJ, INTJ, ISFP, ISTP, ENFP.

    Why? Why am/was I so adamant against being an INFP?

    Possibilities:

    1. They can seem so full of themselves sometimes... elitist, condescending, superior, judgmental, etc, or at the least, profoundly self-absorbed. (Pot calling the kettle black? )

    2. It seems like such a cliche to be an INFP, especially when you are a writer (which I am) and have thought about being an English teacher, musician, artist. I want to be a contradiction, not one of the mold, which is such an INFP thing, non?

    3. I am not spiritual.

    4. I don't have a deep-seated desire to help others, although I am constantly rescuing insects, mice, etc.

    I know there's more, but I don't feel like expounding at the moment. Besides, I'm curious as to whether other's have had this issue, INFP or not.

    Have any of you not wanted to be the type you actually are?
    Welcome to the wonderful world of INFPs.

    I know I'm sure as hell guilty of that first one, and it's because I'm 4w3. I want to express myself in unique ways, but I also want to be recognized and praised for it. And yes, I do have a bruisable ego, I admit it. But I usually have my sulking moment, take deep breaths, and move on. Let me be a drama queen for five minutes, eh?

    We're writers mostly because writing is a mode of expression. Same goes for art. Same goes for dance. Same goes for...lots of artsy stuff. INFPs like being unique, because we're highly 4s, and what better way than showing our thoughts and feelings in tangible form?

    I have to say though, I like being INFP. It suits me. Feels like comfy slippers I know I'll never quite wear out. (I used to want to be ENFP though, they seem much more c'est la vie...)
    4w3, IEI, so/sx/sp, female, and Cancer sign.

    My thoughts on...
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    DISCLAIMER: If I offend you, I'm 99.9% sure it's unintentional. So be sure to let me know, m'kay? (And yes, an INFP would stick this in their signature, lol.)

  3. #73
    Uniqueorn William K's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Udog View Post
    That's a pretty common INFP mentality, and something that makes it hard for us INFPs to value ourselves. Even our title, "The Healer", pretty much suggests that our value as people, and our 'role', comes from what we do for others. Well, what happens when we want to focus on ourselves for awhile? Do we lose our value at that point?
    I read somewhere, I believe it was from a Mercedes Lackey novel, where a characters asks "Who heals the healer?". The answer was the people that they heal and the process of helping others itself. That sustains a healer most of the time I guess but there really are times when instead of being the shoulder to cry on, we want a shoulder to cry on as well.

    This poem written by a 10 year old(!) seems apt here
    Healing the Healer - Poem of Inspiration

  4. #74
    brainheart
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    I get squeamish when I see a fly get killed. Seriously. I remember telling someone that once and getting joked pretty hard about it, and I remember thinking about how it's not like I chose to feel it. I just do. And I didn't really understand why their lack of empathy gave them the right to look down on me in that regard.
    Udog- totally relate. When I was little I punched a friend in the stomach when she stepped on a grasshopper. "What did it ever do to you?" I screamed at her and after she got over the stun of practically having the wind knocked out of her (I punched her with all of my sixty-pound might), she laughed at me, because to her I was pretty much ridiculous and insane (the looking down of which you speak).

    I am not religious, but I think sometimes of what it says in the Bible about God watching over even the smallest sparrow, and I can relate. Sometimes I buck up and kill things (earwigs in my house, for example), but I rescue as much as possible. And when I do kill something as gross as an earwig, I still feel bad. I mean, who am I to judge whether the earwig lives or not? It can get a little ridiculous. I always tell them sorry, at least. Same with mosquitoes. It's not their fault; they're just doing what they do.

    Also, I was thinking of using the sponge analogy, too, when I wrote my earlier post! Funny.

    So many good posts on here. Very cool.

  5. #75
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    I've gone the unhealthy jaded route and and said fuck the world. Not the best option, but if I can't bitch, no one can. I laugh at the people who think we should be spending millions on getting water to people in Africa while millions under our noses go with out job or home as we toss pennies at them that they later shoot into their arm. If I don't have the resources to buy the dude on the street corner a sandwich I don't have enough to dig some people I'll never see a well. Anyone who wants to call me "walled off" or cold, I'm tempted to say, can learn to deal or suck my shlong and like it. Makes for a lonely existence, but I'm losing the energy to bother when reaching out isn't reciprocated.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  6. #76
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    Personality type is something you are born with but it can be squashed or nurtured by your environment. We live in a world where SJs and NTs make the most money and get the most accolades. NF males are seen as feminine oftentimes and it took me well into my 30's to recognize this. It wasn't until I met a retired INFP Lt. Colonel of Marines that I realized how masculine an INFP can be.

    Some things to keep in mind:
    1. INFPs by nature do not want to be boxed in or labeled (I don't think any "P" type does).
    2. Personality measurements before the age of 25 are often wrong due to a number of factors including answering questions to please others rather than reflecting ones own understanding of self.

    Oh my God, I made a list, I need to go cleanse myself.

    JOhn

  7. #77
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by johnlweitzel View Post
    It wasn't until I met a retired INFP Lt. Colonel of Marines that I realized how masculine an INFP can be.
    What was he like? Care to describe him a bit?

    I think one issue male INFPs struggle with is finding exemplary role models we relate to and can learn from. Not all of us have the talents or interests of Johnny Depp or William Shakespeare.

  8. #78
    #005645 phthalocyanine's Avatar
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    i think the sense of honor in sticking to your beliefs no matter what, especially through hardship, is a very INFP and very 'masculine' trait.

    "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.."
    -Oscar Wilde



  9. #79
    brainheart
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    Quote Originally Posted by johnlweitzel View Post
    Oh my God, I made a list, I need to go cleanse myself.

    JOhn
    Are you kidding me? I love making lists! I just don't usually follow them. But sometimes I do, like once a month, and then I'm so proud of myself.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by johnlweitzel
    It wasn't until I met a retired INFP Lt. Colonel of Marines that I realized how masculine an INFP can be.
    What was he like? Care to describe him a bit?
    Yeah, I want to know, too.

  10. #80
    Uniqueorn William K's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phthalocyanine View Post
    i think the sense of honor in sticking to your beliefs no matter what, especially through hardship, is a very INFP and very 'masculine' trait.
    Well, most people will call it stubborness
    I did a profiling test (DISC) for my job once, and the guy who administered the test took one look at the results and said I was mule-headed

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