User Tag List

First 91718192021 Last

Results 181 to 190 of 220

  1. #181
    You have a choice! 21%'s Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    4w5
    Posts
    2,632

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by the state i am in View Post
    not to mention infjs push-pull, the over-reactive retreat move as soon as they feel like they are too far exposed or have gestured too strongly, makes others question how they actually feel. it just ends up being skittish, highly anxious, and somewhat absurd. bizarre Fe projections is my new favorite descriptor.

  2. #182
    Senior Member AutumnReverie's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    ISTJ
    Enneagram
    6w5
    Posts
    327

    Default

    Update: So the whole "going to the movies with him and his group of friends" wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be. In fact, it wasn't awkward at all! His friends were nice, friendly, and talked to me the whole time. They definitely didn't make me feel like an outsider or anything, so it was nice.

    As far as progress between the INFJ and I goes, nothing monumental happened. He sat between me and one of his friends (a girl) but throughout the movie and after each commercial he would whisper and talk to me, not her. But I do that with friends as well, so no big deal.

    I wasn't "touchy" at all with him since I'm not a touchy person in general and all his friends were around. But I did see his legs shaking nervously before the movie started (probably because he was nervous about the scary movie) and I put my hand on his leg and jokingly asked if he was going to be okay. He looked surprised at first, then he started apologizing for shaking. And I just tried to assure him that I was only joking and that it didn't actually bother me.

    At the end of the night, driving in his car, it was just me, the INFJ, and his best friend (male). Same as before, he parked and walked me to my door while his friend waited in the back seat. Then we talked for a bit, hugged, and then he said that he was sorry that he wouldn't be seeing me again this weekend. I asked him "what do you mean you won't see me? I'll be at that one party on Saturday night and you're stopping by, right?". He said that he'll definitely try to stop by, asked me to text him the address again, and said that he meant that he won't be seeing me the whole weekend or something like that.

    The pre-hug walking to the door conversation atmosphere felt a little awkward to me. Although, I'm not sure why he would be feeling awkward/nervous. Unless maybe he sensed that I liked him, but he didn't like me, so he was nervous that I would try to...do something? I don't know


    Quote Originally Posted by toonia View Post
    I think I had a bad combination of being dense when someone showed interest, and overly subtle in expressing interest.

    When older, I just took greater risks, and lucked out somehow.
    I'm the same way. Hopefully, I'll luck out somehow too though

    Quote Originally Posted by Wyst View Post
    Wow. You know, every single girl I've dated (I say it like it's a lot... only 2 actually) has never been transparent with me. It's always been this, "Oh God... what's going on in that head of hers...", and I've always had to drag it out through a long process, it's like chewing thumbtacks.

    I think it's awesome that you like the infj so much. I think he's a pretty lucky guy. At least you've got your confidence to keep you strong when you ask him! I'd probably chicken out at some point and pretend everything was fine (or that there was nothing to pretend about) like a good infj.
    Thanks! This will be the first time that I've actually told someone that I like them (usually they just tell me that they like me or I don't think they reciprocate my feelings so I decide not to tell them about mine)...so I'm definitely still nervous in that sense.

    I've been trying to decide on how I can say it, while accomplishing these things:
    1) Getting the point across clearly, obviously
    2) (If he responds by saying that he doesn't like me) Reassuring him that we can still hang out, and he doesn't have to feel awkward around me or avoid me in the future

    So far I've come up with the following statements:
    1) "So...you know I like you, right?" - said half-jokingly, half-seriously with a smile (to make the mood more light-hearted)
    2) "So...I just wanted to let you know that I like you" - pause for a minute to gauge his reaction then move on (follow it up with something like "so do you want another drink"? or with a lighthearted or self-aware jokingly self-deprecating comment)

    I don't know, how do either of these sound? I plan on asking him if he wants to go see this play (+dinner) with me next Saturday, so that's when I would tell him. Hopefully he's not busy next weekend and can go with me. I'll probably ask him about it on Wed! I plan on telling him that the whole night will be "on me", paying-wise, since I owe him so much already (meaning: he's paid for me the last 4 times we've "hung out" both one-on-one and with other people around) and I feel bad.

  3. #183
    You have a choice! 21%'s Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    4w5
    Posts
    2,632

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by AutumnReverie View Post
    The pre-hug walking to the door conversation atmosphere felt a little awkward to me. Although, I'm not sure why he would be feeling awkward/nervous. Unless maybe he sensed that I liked him, but he didn't like me, so he was nervous that I would try to...do something? I don't know
    Maybe it's because he was having a "Should I go for it now?" moment and was unsure? Maybe he wanted to say something nice -- to hint more that he liked you -- and got stressed about it because he didn't know how you would react. INFJs like to have everything planned out. They anticipate important conversations and plan them out out turn by turn (although these plans are usually far off from what eventually happens in reality ). My best guess is that he had a 'This is the right moment -- do it now' feeling, or sensed a possible important conversation coming up, and had no time to plan it out and got stressed and nervous.

    Whatever it was, I don't think it was because he didn't like you! To be honest, I'm actually bad at saying things like "I like you", especially if I have to go first, so good luck with everything next weekend!

  4. #184
    Senior Member souffle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    124

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by AutumnReverie;897843
    So far I've come up with the following statements:[/B]
    1) "So...you know I like you, right?" - said half-jokingly, half-seriously with a smile (to make the mood more light-hearted)
    2) "So...I just wanted to let you know that I like you" - pause for a minute to gauge his reaction then move on (follow it up with something like "so do you want another drink"? or with a lighthearted or self-aware jokingly self-deprecating comment)
    Oooh.. cute!

    I hate the moment of telling them. There is a chasm of silence, and you have the oppotunity to speak, the words are there planned, but you have to force yourself to open your mouth and say them, which suddenly becomes difficult. You are sinking,drowning in a sea of inaction, and have to reach in with your hand and drag yourself outta there, but you're too heavy and pulling you out is hard work! Poorly developed metaphors aside, in my experience, somehow after opening my mouth and not speaking 100+ times, I managed to succeed, get it out there, and I ultimately felt exhilerated. Hope it's the same for you! And hope it works out well!

  5. #185
    resonance entropie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    MBTI
    entp
    Enneagram
    783
    Posts
    16,761

    Default

    Man you girls got issues. What is it with all the talking anyways, when comes the part you talk about getting down to business !
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  6. #186
    Aspiring Troens Ridder KLessard's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    1w2
    Posts
    595

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by AutumnReverie View Post
    I'm currently interested in a male INFJ. The problem is...I have no idea how to tell if he's interested in me (romantically) at all. Being an ISTJ, I already have trouble recognizing if someone's interested in me , but it seems like this INFJ in particular is very difficult to figure out.
    I'm a female INFJ (according to tests), and I'm very bad at showing interest, even though I love and care DEEPLY. I'm a bad communicator for a Sensitive (the majority of the population), but other Ns will probably guess my intentions. The thing is that I fear my feelings are so intense that if I show them, the person will just freak out. So I keep it in and look like ice. I try to care for the person's physical needs and try to be useful in a disinterested way.
    If you wonder if it's romantic or not, I will tell you that I like to bond soul-to-soul, and for me, a meaningful friendship is just as important as something you would define as romance. But he's a male, so it might be different for him.

    If the loved one is a S, and doesn't have the intuition to read between my abstract lines, I get frustrated and speak out through enigmatic, symbolic words with an angry tone or walk away. That is a sure sign I care very much.
    Those abstract lines for me are often honouring the person through artistic creations (painting a portrait, making a character out of that person in a novel, etc.).

  7. #187
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    9w1
    Posts
    473

    Default

    update please

  8. #188
    Senior Member AutumnReverie's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    ISTJ
    Enneagram
    6w5
    Posts
    327

    Default

    No update yet! We're going to the Opera tomorrow, so yay! But it's not a ~romantic outing or anything. A female friend from his german class is apparently going with us too (the Opera is in German).
    Last edited by AutumnReverie; 11-15-2009 at 04:22 PM.

  9. #189
    Senior Member AutumnReverie's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    ISTJ
    Enneagram
    6w5
    Posts
    327

    Default

    So here's the update! It is, however, epically long...so I'll just link to my blog (you'll need to scroll down to "Romantic Developments")

    Advice and insight is needed (as usual ) and appreciated!

  10. #190
    Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    ISTP
    Posts
    91

    Default

    Well, I'm not an INFJ but I am pretty close to two male INFJs (I'm female) and I gotta say,they DO initiate contact when interested!! Unless the INFJs I know are weird, that is (btw one is Enneagram 3, the other is Enneagram 2).

Similar Threads

  1. [ESTP] How Do I Know If an ESTP is interested in me?
    By dippy in forum The SP Arthouse (ESFP, ISFP, ESTP, ISTP)
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 07-17-2017, 07:43 PM
  2. How does an ENFJ feel after rejecting someone?
    By Vavazhan in forum Intertype Relations
    Replies: 23
    Last Post: 07-17-2017, 04:08 PM
  3. What does an INFJ look like under extreme stress (in your own words)
    By NK258 in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: 03-22-2014, 07:11 PM
  4. [INFJ] How does an INFJ get to this sad point? :(
    By SilkRoad in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 10-29-2009, 05:26 AM
  5. [Ti] How Does an INFJ Go about Developing Tertiary Ti?
    By Glycerine in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 18
    Last Post: 12-03-2008, 04:31 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO