User Tag List

First 41213141516 Last

Results 131 to 140 of 220

  1. #131
    Senior Member AutumnReverie's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    ISTJ
    Enneagram
    6w5
    Posts
    327

    Default

    So I called him, but he didn't answer. So I left a message asking him to call be back later, if he can.

    Although, now that I think about it now...I'm still unsure as to whether or not I want to ask him about it. Mostly because my car is not with me right now (which he knows) so if I went, he'd have to pick me up (which is what he's been doing the last two weekends). It's one thing to kind of "invite yourself" but it's another to do that and ask for the person to pick you up. So yeah... I don't know if I can do that.

    Quote Originally Posted by Wyst View Post
    ME TOO!!! I suck at N vs. S.
    Haha, yeah N vs. S is quite difficult (for me, at least). So usually just have people take the test rather than rely on my typing.

    Quote Originally Posted by Wyst View Post
    You know, I can't speak for all INFJ guys out there but I, for one, am constantly worried about losing something I care about. If that's the case for your INFJ, he may be afraid to just go out and invite you. Even though you already talked about it. Even though he may want to.

    INFJs are a roiling storm under a the very calm surface they try so hard to project and maintain.
    I hope that's the case! I'm not sure why he would still be afraid though, since I feel like I've been pretty clear that I like his company.

    Now that I think about it, something similar to this happened last weekend too. He told me that him and some friends were going to a musical performance thing on Friday and asked if I wanted to go. I said that I'd think about it and let him know the next day. The next day, I called him and said I would go and he seemed very (happily) surprised that I even remembered. And I thought to myself, "Why wouldn't I remember? You just recently asked me if I wanted to go...and my memory is fantastic (see: ISTJ)" Now I'm think that if I wouldn't have called him up, he probably wouldn't have called me to ask if I was still interested since he assumed that I would forget about him or something.

    WARNING: Frustrated ranting ahead. Proceed with caution or ignore.
    EDIT: Ugh, I feel very frustrated right now. Not just about this situation since it's not that big of a deal (I recognize this), but about everything thus far. I just feel like I'm putting in all this effort and initiate things the majority of the time (once I do something, he'll be very attentive and start initiating things himself...but still, I have to start always) and I'm not getting any results. I still have no idea if he's interested in me (one day I think I know then the next I don't) and, at this point, I'm tired of trying to find out. So if he calls me back, I'm not even going to mention the movie. If he actually remembers that he invited me and wants to actually inform me of when they're going, then fine. If not, that's fine too. Then the next time I see him/we go out, I'm just going to flat-out ask him if he's interested in me and that will be that. I'm just so tired of all of this - I'm sorry, I guess I'm not used to these "feelings" and the stress that results from the uncertainty of everything.

    If he likes me then I don't think it's too much to ask for him to "chase" me a little bit. Maybe he's secretly sitting in his room analyzing and over-analyzing and feeling frustrated as well, but I can't see that. In front of me he appears perfectly fine, like he probably wouldn't even notice if I didn't contact him for a week...but when I finally did he would probably be really happy about it. I don't understand. Everyone's been saying that he's been giving 'good signs' but what good are 'signs' with no result? This whole "trying to figure out someone else's feelings" thing is emotionally draining. Now I remember why I didn't do this in the past. =(

    Actually I don't know if I'll even wait until we hang out again. Perhaps I should do it over the phone? Would that be the best way?

  2. #132
    Senior Member souffle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    124

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by AutumnReverie View Post

    WARNING: Frustrated ranting ahead. Proceed with caution or ignore.
    EDIT: Ugh, I feel very frustrated right now. Not just about this situation since it's not that big of a deal (I recognize this), but about everything thus far. I just feel like I'm putting in all this effort and initiate things the majority of the time (once I do something, he'll be very attentive and start initiating things himself...but still, I have to start always) and I'm not getting any results. I still have no idea if he's interested in me (one day I think I know then the next I don't) and, at this point, I'm tired of trying to find out. So if he calls me back, I'm not even going to mention the movie. If he actually remembers that he invited me and wants to actually inform me of when they're going, then fine. If not, that's fine too. Then the next time I see him/we go out, I'm just going to flat-out ask him if he's interested in me and that will be that. I'm just so tired of all of this - I'm sorry, I guess I'm not used to these "feelings" and the stress that results from the uncertainty of everything.

    If he likes me then I don't think it's too much to ask for him to "chase" me a little bit. Maybe he's secretly sitting in his room analyzing and over-analyzing and feeling frustrated as well, but I can't see that. In front of me he appears perfectly fine, like he probably wouldn't even notice if I didn't contact him for a week...but when I finally did he would probably be really happy about it. I don't understand. Everyone's been saying that he's been giving 'good signs' but what good are 'signs' with no result? This whole "trying to figure out someone else's feelings" thing is emotionally draining. Now I remember why I didn't do this in the past. =(

    Actually I don't know if I'll even wait until we hang out again. Perhaps I should do it over the phone? Would that be the best way?
    Hmmm... well if you are so absolutely desperate and bursting to ask him when you're on the phone, then take advantage of your desperate feelings and do it, before you have time to start thinking straight and questioning yourself again! You'll have to do it some time, after all!

    But seriously, do whatever you want. If you wake up the next day feeling not so bad, and decide to go ahead with your other plan (a casual remark suggesting you hold hands or kiss, wasn't it?), or something else, that's cool too!

  3. #133
    Senior Member AutumnReverie's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    ISTJ
    Enneagram
    6w5
    Posts
    327

    Default

    Update: So he ended up calling (twice) last night, but I ignored the calls at first because I was really tired/sleepy and a bit frustrated so I didn't feel like talking. Then he texted me right afterwards, saying that he was wondering if I still wanted to go to the movie and asked that I call him. I did right after that, and I didn't "blurt out" anything nor was I angry. The conversation was pleasant but right to the point as well because I was tired/frustrated. He indirectly but playfully noted that I didn't sound too enthusiastic when saying "yes", probably because I was more like "ehh...sure...okay, I guess". But my hesitance had more to do with the fact that it'll be a group of people I don't know and I'll feel awkward, not really anything to do with him. Perhaps I should have told him that.

    Quote Originally Posted by souffle View Post
    Hmmm... well if you are so absolutely desperate and bursting to ask him when you're on the phone, then take advantage of your desperate feelings and do it, before you have time to start thinking straight and questioning yourself again! You'll have to do it some time, after all!

    But seriously, do whatever you want. If you wake up the next day feeling not so bad, and decide to go ahead with your other plan (a casual remark suggesting you hold hands or kiss, wasn't it?), or something else, that's cool too!
    Well, I'm perfectly calm and thinking straight again. But I still think the "stop waiting. just ask" thing is a good way to go for me. I always thought that I was a fan of the the "slow build" in regards to relationships (and I still am ) but this is just too slow for me, haha. So I'm just going to go ahead and ask him. Then, if he does like me, I'll initiate a hand hold or something. Tonight, I'm going with him and his friends to the movie, so I won't say anything there since it won't be private and it will already be uncomfortable for me (since I don't know any of them) But I'll be sure to ask the next time we're one-on-one.

    I'm ready for the uncertainty of this to go away and I think I'll actually be relieved to just find out, despite what his answer is.

  4. #134
    Member Faine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    9w1
    Socionics
    IEI
    Posts
    88

    Default

    I doubt it'll be much help to you, but as an INFJ female I can tell you it took quite a long time of dancing around before I finally got with my INTJ. We tended to flirt and joke around a lot but it was a gradual thing that slowly built up over the course of about a year. Finally when I couldn't take it anymore I cracked and asked him out right, but it was only when I was nearly 100% sure he had an interest in me despite the fact our lovey behaviour prior to that would be evidence enough for anyone else. Initially he persued me and not vice versa until I felt secure enough to respond and initiate things myself. Ultimately he didn't have the courage to bring facts we were both aware of out into the open though, so it was me that went crazy enough to take the plunge and do that in the end.

    At any rate, good luck with your INFJ. I think we're a hard bunch to figure out when it comes to these sort of things. We're not usually very open about it until we feel safe, so if he has an interest in you or not I cannot say. From what I've read it sounds quite likely though.
    INFJ 9w1.

  5. #135
    You have a choice! 21%'s Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    4w5
    Posts
    2,631

    Default

    Could it be that he might actually be an INFP after all? Because, at least in my experience, INFPs are really bad at initiating things.

  6. #136
    lurking.... Wyst's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    4w5
    Posts
    1,662

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by AutumnReverie View Post
    Then, if he does like me, I'll initiate a hand hold or something. Tonight, I'm going with him and his friends to the movie, so I won't say anything there since it won't be private and it will already be uncomfortable for me (since I don't know any of them) But I'll be sure to ask the next time we're one-on-one.
    Wow. You know, every single girl I've dated (I say it like it's a lot... only 2 actually) has never been transparent with me. It's always been this, "Oh God... what's going on in that head of hers...", and I've always had to drag it out through a long process, it's like chewing thumbtacks.

    I think it's awesome that you like the infj so much. I think he's a pretty lucky guy. At least you've got your confidence to keep you strong when you ask him! I'd probably chicken out at some point and pretend everything was fine (or that there was nothing to pretend about) like a good infj.

  7. #137
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Posts
    17

    Default

    Im a male INFJ and honestly dating is a bit hard and scary because sometimes I make bad choices or the person i meet isnt who i thought.

    Here are some patterns I have noticed that I do

    -I have no problem speaking, its just starting small talk, flirting, etc. sometimes and once thats broken things start to go faster.
    -I rarely start flirting, I just flirt back with someone who is interested in me
    -I like writing, texting, and sometimes body language.

    I don't like dating, I'm in my teens but someone really hurt me multiple times and the reality of it is awful. I'm over it but I miss someone like her being artistic and creative and kind. Unfortunately she tried to ruin me.

    The Mind is in essence our soul.

  8. #138
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Posts
    8,470

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Wyst View Post
    Wow. You know, every single girl I've dated (I say it like it's a lot... only 2 actually) has never been transparent with me. It's always been this, "Oh God... what's going on in that head of hers...", and I've always had to drag it out through a long process, it's like chewing thumbtacks.

    I think it's awesome that you like the infj so much. I think he's a pretty lucky guy. At least you've got your confidence to keep you strong when you ask him! I'd probably chicken out at some point and pretend everything was fine (or that there was nothing to pretend about) like a good infj.
    Have you ever dated an ENTP?
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  9. #139
    Freshman Member simulatedworld's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Enneagram
    7w6 sx/so
    Socionics
    ILE
    Posts
    5,554

    Default

    How does an INFJ show interest in someone?

    Very subtly.
    If you could be anything you want, I bet you'd be disappointed--am I right?

  10. #140
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    MBTI
    AHH!
    Posts
    147

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by qwertsquirt View Post
    Im a male INFJ and honestly dating is a bit hard and scary because sometimes I make bad choices or the person i meet isnt who i thought.

    Here are some patterns I have noticed that I do

    -I have no problem speaking, its just starting small talk, flirting, etc. sometimes and once thats broken things start to go faster.
    -I rarely start flirting, I just flirt back with someone who is interested in me
    -I like writing, texting, and sometimes body language.

    I don't like dating, I'm in my teens but someone really hurt me multiple times and the reality of it is awful. I'm over it but I miss someone like her being artistic and creative and kind. Unfortunately she tried to ruin me.
    What do you mean she tried to "ruin you"?

Similar Threads

  1. [ESTP] How Do I Know If an ESTP is interested in me?
    By dippy in forum The SP Arthouse (ESFP, ISFP, ESTP, ISTP)
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 07-17-2017, 07:43 PM
  2. How does an ENFJ feel after rejecting someone?
    By Vavazhan in forum Intertype Relations
    Replies: 23
    Last Post: 07-17-2017, 04:08 PM
  3. What does an INFJ look like under extreme stress (in your own words)
    By NK258 in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: 03-22-2014, 07:11 PM
  4. [INFJ] How does an INFJ get to this sad point? :(
    By SilkRoad in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 10-29-2009, 05:26 AM
  5. [Ti] How Does an INFJ Go about Developing Tertiary Ti?
    By Glycerine in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 18
    Last Post: 12-03-2008, 04:31 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO