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  1. #121
    Senior Member AutumnReverie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 21% View Post
    Personally, I like things very subtle. I'd wait until you're somewhere very private, preferably at home. You can be watching a DVD or something together. Make sure you sit on the same sofa, or on the floor with blankets around you. If he likes you he will try to sit very close, and you can encourage him to do this by, well, not moving away or shifting too much (because he might take that as a sign that you are not comfortable). Cold weather is the perfect excuse for this . Then, when he's right next to you, stay like that for a while, and then you can lean softly on his shoulder. This will be taken as a sign that you're physically comfortable with him. And... well, let him make the next move...
    That sounds perfect! He keeps mentioning movies that we need to rent and watch together, so another movie night definitely wouldn't be out of the question (I'm assuming). But, would it be bad for me to suggest the same activity twice in a row, since we just did the "rent a movie" thing this weekend? I don't want him to think that I'm a boring person who can't think of new activities to do every week.

    Or maybe I can couple it with something else? Like go do something downtown (like grab dessert or something) then go back to my place afterwards and watch a movie?

    Haha, if he's waiting for the 'right' moment to tell me then he's definitely taking his sweet time Or maybe, I'm just impatient

    I'm really nervous. I'll do the hand hold thing, but as far as telling him that I like him...I wouldn't even know where to start. Knowing me, it'd probably go something like this:

    Me: It's freezing outside. Is the temp. okay in here?
    INFJ: Yeah, it's fine. Do you want more popcorn?
    Me: Sure
    [pause]
    Me: So...um, I like you. I just thought I'd throw that out there...
    INFJ: Uh huh...wait...what!?

    Haha, I don't know how to not be abrupt and blunt about it. How do you go about integrating that into the conversation? Like what subject should I bring up to talk about that would naturally (non-awkwardly) lead to some sort of declaration of feelings? I have no experience with those kind of subjects, since I usually try to avoid talking about my feelings.

    I'm suddenly feel a lot of respect for any guy who has ever told me that they liked me. It's definitely a lot harder than it looks .

    Quote Originally Posted by 21% View Post
    When I'm with other people, especially with a group of people, I feel the need to keep them happy. He might have felt the same way. Since he's the one organizing the get-together, he might have felt it was his responsibility to make sure everyone was having a good time. This often results in INFJs appearing more extraverted (e.g. playful, joking, more energetic) than usual.

    Also, he was probably trying to get to know you better and deeper by asking you questions about psychology. This is a very good sign! It means he really wants to understand who you are inside
    [Re: the bolded part] That's exactly how he was! Which is why I was taken back at first because usually, when he's with me, he doesn't appear to be as uninhibited/energetic/extraverted.

  2. #122
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    One INFJ I dated, I remember how it started. She had locked herself out of her apartment and came down to see if she could use the phone. I had never met her before, but it was instant chemistry.

    It was the eye contact that let me know. She smiled and looked me in the eye, while she talked nervously. I smiled back and she looked down for just moment and immediately made eye contact again. I remember after she used the phone, I walked her back out front and she walked back to her apartment, and almost fell over something trying to talk to me while walking away.

    Later I found out she was a friend of a friend........I saw her at a friends house and told her she should take me out to dinner and a movie. I told her I liked Italian. Just let me know when she was picking me up.

    We dated for a while.
    No friend ever served me, and no enemy ever wronged me, whom I have not repaid in full." Lucius Cornelius Sulla

  3. #123
    Perfect Gentleman! =D d@v3's Avatar
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    Okay well.. I just said it to a girl (ISFJ), literally 2 minutes ago...

    I said to her "So I guess I was just trying to invite you somewhere because I think you are a really nice girl and I would like to get to know you a bit more. "

    It sounds all innocent, but it should be enough of a hint to him to understand your true intentions.
    Freedom Isn't Free. [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  4. #124
    You have a choice! 21%'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AutumnReverie View Post
    Or maybe I can couple it with something else? Like go do something downtown (like grab dessert or something) then go back to my place afterwards and watch a movie?
    That sounds great! Cookies and cuddles!

    Quote Originally Posted by AutumnReverie View Post
    Haha, I don't know how to not be abrupt and blunt about it. How do you go about integrating that into the conversation? Like what subject should I bring up to talk about that would naturally (non-awkwardly) lead to some sort of declaration of feelings? I have no experience with those kind of subjects, since I usually try to avoid talking about my feelings.
    I think it works after a short semi-awkward moment of silence.

    You: Good movie.
    INFJ: Yeah.
    (awkward silence)
    You: You know...

    Then you turn to him, look him in the eyes, smile, and say that you really enjoy spending time with him, and how you've come to realize that you like him more than just a friend. If he appears too shocked and stays quiet, you can keep rambling on about how you'd totally understand if he does not return your feeling, and that you'd still want to be friends because you appreciate him as a person, to which he will immediately deny not having feelings for you too. However, this most likely won't happen, because once you tell him how you feel, will be impossible for him, as an NF, not to share his

  5. #125
    Senior Member AutumnReverie's Avatar
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    Okay, (emergency ) quick question!

    So, the INFJ called me up on Monday night (he had missed my call on Sunday, then sent me an apologetic text on Monday afternoon about how he had his phone on silent while studying and how he was really sorry, then called me up that night).

    Anyways, I told him that I had called because I saw that a movie that he (and his friends) had been mentioning, is finally in theaters nearby and I wanted to let him know. He excitedly said that he noticed that too and that he and his friends wanted to see it this week. He then asked if I would want to come too. I told him that it depended on the time...but sure, and told him to let me know when they decide to go. He said he would.

    WELL...I was just thinking about possibly texting him or calling him tonight and asking about when they were going (since one date he proposed was Thursday). But, just now, I went onto Facebook and his status says that he's excited about going to see the movie tomorrow. And now I don't know whether I should even call/ask/mention it. He obviously made plans to see it and hasn't notified me about it yet (unless he's waiting to do it the day of -- tomorrow -- but that's a little last minute ). I don't want to indirectly invite myself if he actually doesn't want me to go...

    What do you think I should do? Not ask him about it and possibly (probably) miss the movie. Or go ahead and ask him, like I was initially going to do before I went on FB, but possibly put myself in the awkward situation (i.e. inviting myself, when maybe he doesn't want me to go). Perhaps he just forgot about me, or about inviting me along, but if that's the case...then he probably doesn't really want me to go that badly anyways

    Quote Originally Posted by d@v3 View Post
    I said to her "So I guess I was just trying to invite you somewhere because I think you are a really nice girl and I would like to get to know you a bit more. "

    It sounds all innocent, but it should be enough of a hint to him to understand your true intentions.
    Thanks, d@v3! By the way, I'm really proud of you. I know that it took a lot of courage for you to say that, especially after what happened last time.

  6. #126
    lurking.... Wyst's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AutumnReverie View Post
    Okay, (emergency ) quick question!

    So, the INFJ called me up on Monday night (he had missed my call on Sunday, then sent me an apologetic text on Monday afternoon about how he had his phone on silent while studying and how he was really sorry, then called me up that night).

    Anyways, I told him that I had called because I saw that a movie that he (and his friends) had been mentioning, is finally in theaters nearby and I wanted to let him know. He excitedly said that he noticed that too and that he and his friends wanted to see it this week. He then asked if I would want to come too. I told him that it depended on the time...but sure, and told him to let me know when they decide to go. He said he would.

    WELL...I was just thinking about possibly texting him or calling him tonight and asking about when they were going (since one date he proposed was Thursday). But, just now, I went onto Facebook and his status says that he's excited about going to see the movie tomorrow. And now I don't know whether I should even call/ask/mention it. He obviously made plans to see it and hasn't notified me about it yet (unless he's waiting to do it the day of -- tomorrow -- but that's a little last minute ). I don't want to indirectly invite myself if he actually doesn't want me to go...

    What do you think I should do? Not ask him about it and possibly (probably) miss the movie. Or go ahead and ask him, like I was initially going to do before I went on FB, but possibly put myself in the awkward situation (i.e. inviting myself, when maybe he doesn't want me to go).


    Thanks, d@v3! By the way, I'm really proud of you. I know that it took a lot of courage for you to say that, especially after what happened last time.

    Hmmm he doesn't have a very strong J if he's missing details like that. Are you sure he's an INFJ?

  7. #127
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Ask him about it. Say, hey we talked about it. Is it still alright if I join you? If not, that's cool I just wanted to check in with you.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  8. #128
    lurking.... Wyst's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    Ask him about it. Say, hey we talked about it. Is it still alright if I join you? If not, that's cool I just wanted to check in with you.
    Stop stalking me in all the threads I post in.

  9. #129
    Senior Member AutumnReverie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wyst View Post
    Hmmm he doesn't have a very strong J if he's missing details like that. Are you sure he's an INFJ?
    I think so. When I first started talking to him, I typed him as a IxFJ (I'm really bad at typing N vs. S based on an initial meeting). But then, this past August he took the test and got INFJ. Based on his results though, he's borderline with the J/P (but tested on the side of J).

    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    Ask him about it. Say, hey we talked about it. Is it still alright if I join you? If not, that's cool I just wanted to check in with you.
    Thanks for responding! I think I'll say that. But I just honestly don't see him saying "no" if I ask about it, because he's a really nice guy and he obviously likes me in some capacity (friendship or otherwise). So I don't want to essentially invite myself like that. I only want to go if he wants me too. If not, then I'll just go see the movie some other time with my own friends.

  10. #130
    lurking.... Wyst's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AutumnReverie View Post
    I'm really bad at typing N vs. S based on an initial meeting)
    ME TOO!!! I suck at N vs. S.

    You know, I can't speak for all INFJ guys out there but I, for one, am constantly worried about losing something I care about. If that's the case for your INFJ, he may be afraid to just go out and invite you. Even though you already talked about it. Even though he may want to.

    INFJs are a roiling storm under a the very calm surface they try so hard to project and maintain.

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