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Thread: new here, ENFP and coping with heartbreak

  1. #21
    Senior Member Array Rachelinpa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008


    Dating other people definitely helps. Blogging about it aided me a bit, but I found that I started to wallow and it made it worse. I got caught up in the emotional angst of it all, reliving every moment and not ever moving on.

    Distraction for me is the best way. I'm not sure if it is an ENFP thing, but the emotions are SO crazy at times that I can't take them all on at once -- they are connected to nearly everything! I find that if I keep constant distractions long enough, I can deal with the grief a little at a time. Some have said this is unhealthy because it is avoiding the pain, but the fact is, I can't escape it anyway. So, it helps to water it down as much as possible and grieve in doses.

    It sucks that he cut you off, but it's good too because now it's over. Hard to accept that, I'm sure, but great cause it is out of your control. You have no choice but to let it go. The ship has sailed. The bridge has been burned.

    We are so relational and I think that the only way to get over someone is to have a relationship fill that void (whether it be a new lover or even a good friend). As much as humanly possible, I would stop dwelling and start dating.

  2. #22


    Yea, I have been spending a lot of time out to get my mind off of things. Finally, today I wake up and I don't feel like ass. I feel a little immature for doing this, but I posted a blog and wrote some personal things about our sex life. I don't really care if people know. But the first time he tried contacting me after our break up was him calling me to ask me to remove this blog. It made me giggle a little, knowing it struck a nerve in him. I think he may actually be an INFJ, now that I remember. I told him I'd remove the blog, but I still haven't, because I want him to suffer a little longer, knowing the possibility his friends may read it. I know by doing this, there is probably no chance we will ever talk again. But he already chose to cut me out of his life so I don't feel like me expressing my anger over the internet is going to change anything.

    I know I am able to move on. It's just hard when you actually felt you had this strong connection with someone and you felt they had it too, and it just suddenly ends. Like, especially when this was, to you, the strongest connection you have felt in some time, and was the only person you were around for some time.

    it's terrible how it went from happy, intimacy, to enemies that want to hurt each other so fast.

  3. #23
    Was E.laur Array Laurie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009


    You shouldn't be trying to hurt him. You will regret it in the long term and you are teaching yourself poor ways to deal with relationships. It's an immaturity that comes with being ENFP that you might want to learn to beat down quickly.

    I was hurt by someone and treated him like crap. He was hurt by me and treated me with respect. Made me feel like a jerk.

    Would you want someone who was hurt by you to act that way? Karma.

  4. #24
    `~~Philosoflying~~` Array SillySapienne's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008


    When I get my heart broken, at first there is a lot of this

    And then there is a lot of this

    And then there is more of this

    And some anger, self-hatred, and disappointment too.

    Write your feelings down, talk to someone who knows you and understands.

    Acknowledge what happened, what *you* did, how *you* acted, and what *you* accepted in the relationship.

    Realize that life goes on, love is out there, and eventually when the time is right, and when you are ready, you will eventually find someone worthy of your love.

    Live, love and learn.

    Grow from this experience!!!

    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

    Ride si sapis

    Intelligentle sparkles

  5. #25
    Cat Wench Array ReadingRainbows's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    6w7 sx/sp
    IEI Ni


    Quote Originally Posted by Kyi View Post
    I think he may actually be an INFJ
    Ha! that might explain somethings. Or he may just be an unhealthy ESTP, or an unhealthy INFJ. Either way, better off going on with life. Don't have time to deal with those sort of people Don't treat em bad either. Stack Karma in your favor Its worth it. Showing self respect that is.

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