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  1. #1
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    Default INFJ + ENFP = Transcendental Romance. INFJ + ESTJ = Duality. Any thoughts?

    I would like to get as many inputs as possible from you guys.

    Socionics states that duality is the most rewarding relationship because it satisfies both partners' needs for completeness. Stages in this relationship also vary from being shaky to unbreakable (ONLY if there are mutual attractions and both partners have the same goals in life). I've met some ESTJs throughout my life, but they just don't seem to notice my presence (the introvert dual is supposed to fade in the background).

    Regarding the ENFP: I LOVE ENFPs. I adore ENFPs. It's been my dream to end up with one, be it friendship or family life. I wish there could be more. But the 2 ENFPs that I met seemed very....distant. I even showed them my sincere intention to be friends. But oh well, maybe other ENFPs can explain about this, not just for romantic relationships but friendships as well.
    I can still see how loving ENFPs are. They think far ahead and use feelings when making decisions, which can be seen as irrational. However, those are what make them dedicated to their relationships.

    Your comments are appreciated. Thanks!

  2. #2
    Magical BlackCat's Avatar
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    Go with whoever you're the most attracted to, don't decide based on type, don't get anyone insane (they will latch onto you and take advantage of you).

    If you're attracted to an ESTJ you meet and s/he isn't insane, fine, go for it. Same for an ENFP.
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  3. #3
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
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    An INFJ trying too hard isn't the best sight to behold. You will attract them by being yourself, not by wanting to date them because they are ENFP. They catch the phony in that right away. You also need to like an ENFP because of who they are, not because they fit an ideal you want or because it benefits you.

    Your brain should click pretty well with an ENFP. That's what you need to develop to make it into an interesting relationship.

    Your Jness and her Pness can end up being a problem. You will have to grow past being anal about stuff to enjoy her unique contributions to life and she will have to be willing to accept that you care more about "surface" stuff than she might. I think NF relationships can also be a bit needy with each other, which can become unhealthy.

    eta: Oops, I don't know if you are female or male. I don't know much about male enfps or female infjs. :P

  4. #4
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by finalfantasy View Post
    I would like to get as many inputs as possible from you guys.

    Socionics states that duality is the most rewarding relationship because it satisfies both partners' needs for completeness. Stages in this relationship also vary from being shaky to unbreakable (ONLY if there are mutual attractions and both partners have the same goals in life). I've met some ESTJs throughout my life, but they just don't seem to notice my presence (the introvert dual is supposed to fade in the background).

    Regarding the ENFP: I LOVE ENFPs. I adore ENFPs. It's been my dream to end up with one, be it friendship or family life. I wish there could be more. But the 2 ENFPs that I met seemed very....distant. I even showed them my sincere intention to be friends. But oh well, maybe other ENFPs can explain about this, not just for romantic relationships but friendships as well.
    I can still see how loving ENFPs are. They think far ahead and use feelings when making decisions, which can be seen as irrational. However, those are what make them dedicated to their relationships.

    Your comments are appreciated. Thanks!
    Eh..I dunno. I don't really buy into all of the type-matching theories on the net. They're interesting theoretically, and I think there are some that tend to follow real-life trends/matches/chemistry, but it's ultimately very individualized.

    It boils down to the fact that each person out there has their own preferences regarding what they desire out of a romantic partner, and the type of dynamic they want. There are a lot of introverts who prefer fellow introverts, and there are introverts who prefer extroverts. And you can go down the line with each of the other dichotomies - N/S, T/F, J/P.

    If ENFP's and ESTJ's make you melt, go for them.

    For me personally, I'm not at all drawn to ESTJ's for a romantic partner, and don't think I'd ever feel fulfilled in a longterm relationship or friendship with them. Nothing against them of course, it's just I don't think they're a terribly great complement for ME. I think ENFP's are great friends, and that's great if you would define them as 'transcendental romance'....but again, there's nothing cut and dry about any of this....to each their own. For me, I tend to be attracted to EN's, and ENT's in particular. xSTP's are crush-worthy, although I highly doubt longterm compatibility.
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

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  5. #5
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    Type match theories are nice to ponder, and I do find myself attracted to ENxPs, but I wouldn't say that they are the best for me. I've never been attracted to ESTJs, and I couldn't see myself being happy in a relationship with one, based on the ones I know. The only dichotomies I have a preference for are N and maybe P, although I could work with another xNxJ if we had similar priorities. But it really comes to down to the individual, and not their type.

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    INFJ and ESTJ are not duals unless by socionics the INFJ turns out to be an INFj. Usually MBTI INFJs are more INFp in socionics, the dual of which is ESTp.
    I ESTP. (and I tend to prefer avoiding ESTJs).

  7. #7
    Retired Member Wonkavision's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlackCat View Post
    Go with whoever you're the most attracted to, don't decide based on type,
    Quote Originally Posted by Elaur View Post

    An INFJ trying too hard isn't the best sight to behold. You will attract them by being yourself, not by wanting to date them because they are ENFP. They catch the phony in that right away. You also need to like an ENFP because of who they are, not because they fit an ideal you want or because it benefits you.
    Quote Originally Posted by cascadeco View Post

    Eh..I dunno. I don't really buy into all of the type-matching theories on the net. They're interesting theoretically, and I think there are some that tend to follow real-life trends/matches/chemistry, but it's ultimately very individualized.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lauren Ashley View Post
    it really comes to down to the individual, and not their type.

    Awww..... come on, you guys!

    :rolli: to all of the above.

    :zzz:

    always the same old song......


    Anyway, to answer the question.....




    Quote Originally Posted by finalfantasy View Post

    Regarding the ENFP: I LOVE ENFPs. I adore ENFPs. It's been my dream to end up with one, be it friendship or family life. I wish there could be more. But the 2 ENFPs that I met seemed very....distant. I even showed them my sincere intention to be friends. But oh well, maybe other ENFPs can explain about this, not just for romantic relationships but friendships as well.
    Well, I don't know if I know any INFJs in real life.

    I think my mom is an INFJ, but I'm really not too sure.

    To be honest, I've found the INFJs on this forum to be somewhat challenging to get along with, but also generally very insightful and well worth getting to know.

    Two NFs means a lot of sensitivity, and a fair amount of touchiness.

    I'm an ENFP married to an INFP, and it requires a great deal of self-discipline to communicate effectively.

    One of the rewards of our particular pairing is that we really do understand each other on a deep, spiritual level.

    We really are soul-mates, that's for sure.

    It's just that the aspects of marriage which require some dispassionate objectivity (like bills, parenting styles, budgeting, etc...) can be a real delicate issue.


    I think that, while any two types can get along, the ENFP-INFJ combo has a lot going for it.

    But, again, if my experience on this forum is any indication, it might get off to a rough start.

    There seems to be a difference in sense of humor, from what I can tell.
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  8. #8
    "Everything in its place" fill's Avatar
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    I like ENFPs a lot, but I've always had trouble getting to know them right away. They're somewhat aloof in some senses, and it seems like the only way to know them is by pure coincidence.

    I like ESTJs a lot, but if you're interested in one, realize they are much, much, much, much different from you.

    But both of these types use Ne, which means finishing what's started can become a problem. I've had instances with both of them completely bailing out. It's a bit frustrating, and while I've had successful relationships with both of them, I advise you to be careful with your trust (both ESTJs I met, I opened up to very quickly). Actually... the only relationship I've had great success with that was cut off by distance was an ESFP. Huh.
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  9. #9
    Cat Wench ReadingRainbows's Avatar
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    Don't use type when dating. Don't! It places people in boxes! Boxes bad! But -

    Check out the personal chemistry. Who do you like better, who do you have more in common with? Common interests and goals, and good communication make a relationship work.

  10. #10
    Senior Member Wild horses's Avatar
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    This is interesting as very few people would regard ENFPs as aloof unless they are pursuing them romantically. It is my opinion that ENFPs that have deep feelings for someone may very well act colder and more aloof than usual! So be encouraged...
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