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[INFJ] INFJ + ENFP = Transcendental Romance. INFJ + ESTJ = Duality. Any thoughts?

cafe

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I don't think the chemical pouncing mechanism is type-related. I find myself practically snorting my INTP's scent when I'm ovulating. It's kind of embarrassing, but I can't help myself. Eighteen years and I still want to snort him and generally act like a cat in heat. :blush:

I would have been in big trouble if I'd gotten a good whiff of him and we'd turned out to have incompatible personalities. Thankfully I'd gotten to know him a bit before I ever got close enough to smell him.

It's just gene compatibility, IMO.
 

Tea-Snob

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I don't post on the site very often but I identified with the INFJ/ENFP dynamic described in this thread. The (Female) ENFP in question and myself tend to have little misunderstandings that can blow up like land-mines. With other people such heated arguments are anathema to me, but with my ENFP they are often very short lived and followed by an incredible hug..

I would characterize this behaviour between us in the following ways:

1) Easy access to a "silly switch" and / or a "poke with a stick" makes it very hard for us to be mad at one another. Infuriating though it is, I find myself grinning like an idiot at my ENFP whilst she is scolding me - and even worse she GETS IT.

2) When we misunderstand each other we seem to bump into each in the dark even when we are trying not to. We argue about "Who sang this song?", only to find out that the singer that she thought it was, sings in the band that I thought it was. 2 paths, 1 result.

3) During a misunderstanding my ENFP views me as "Running around looking for the exits and ignoring the huge door that she is pointing out to me." This isn't really the same as mutual understanding between equals but it works. It is more sort of like "Well I know your from another country dude, but here in the real world we do things differently"

4) We "Click" and it's great - but I think we see it as something to look forward to (Like a sunny day or a full moon) rather than there being something wrong if it doesnt happen.

5) If she sits and stares at me for long enough I will get nervous and do something amusing, endearing or stupid - depending on how nervous I get. If she sits next to me too long it is better if I don't try to operate heavy machinery or do brain surgery.
 

Lily flower

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This is interesting as very few people would regard ENFPs as aloof unless they are pursuing them romantically. It is my opinion that ENFPs that have deep feelings for someone may very well act colder and more aloof than usual! So be encouraged...

I've heard about the "colder" thing about both ENFJ's and ENFP's. Can anyone explain to me why?
 

the state i am in

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I don't post on the site very often but I identified with the INFJ/ENFP dynamic described in this thread. The (Female) ENFP in question and myself tend to have little misunderstandings that can blow up like land-mines. With other people such heated arguments are anathema to me, but with my ENFP they are often very short lived and followed by an incredible hug..

I would characterize this behaviour between us in the following ways:

so it's easy to get back on track?

1) Easy access to a "silly switch" and / or a "poke with a stick" makes it very hard for us to be mad at one another. Infuriating though it is, I find myself grinning like an idiot at my ENFP whilst she is scolding me - and even worse she GETS IT.

2) When we misunderstand each other we seem to bump into each in the dark even when we are trying not to. We argue about "Who sang this song?", only to find out that the singer that she thought it was, sings in the band that I thought it was. 2 paths, 1 result.

it's easy to be very real mentally, which is great bc it's easy to build up positive momentum really easily, but i've found it difficult to be emotionally consistent and communicate consistently through various emotional fluctuations.

3) During a misunderstanding my ENFP views me as "Running around looking for the exits and ignoring the huge door that she is pointing out to me." This isn't really the same as mutual understanding between equals but it works. It is more sort of like "Well I know your from another country dude, but here in the real world we do things differently"

this is one of the greatest experiences i get from enps too. i can just feel my mind take a deep breath and calm down. i think, in reverse, one of the most intriguing things on the other side of the coin is that when she's in those imaginary mazes and tunnels, i'm like, don't worry--i got this. believe me, i've seen this a million times before, i've practiced this, i'm an expert at the most complicated of imaginary mazes. hold on let me pull up my mapquest...

4) We "Click" and it's great - but I think we see it as something to look forward to (Like a sunny day or a full moon) rather than there being something wrong if it doesnt happen.

you both have an easy time keeping the faith? is she a 7w6 or 7w8? an sx type?

5) If she sits and stares at me for long enough I will get nervous and do something amusing, endearing or stupid - depending on how nervous I get. If she sits next to me too long it is better if I don't try to operate heavy machinery or do brain surgery.

what a great feeling! it usually takes me a while to thaw, which is why i appreciate the moment when i can sooo much! it's very freeing.
 

Lily flower

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1) Easy access to a "silly switch" and / or a "poke with a stick" makes it very hard for us to be mad at one another. Infuriating though it is, I find myself grinning like an idiot at my ENFP whilst she is scolding me - and even worse she GETS IT.

.

Oh, this is so great! We do that, too! (INFJ/ENFJ) My husband and I couldn't even get in arguments for the first 5 years we were married, because we both thought the other person looked so ridiculous when they were mad. So when we started an argument, we always ended up in a fit of laughter.
 

skylights

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I like ENFPs a lot, but I've always had trouble getting to know them right away. They're somewhat aloof in some senses, and it seems like the only way to know them is by pure coincidence.

This is interesting as very few people would regard ENFPs as aloof unless they are pursuing them romantically. It is my opinion that ENFPs that have deep feelings for someone may very well act colder and more aloof than usual! So be encouraged...

:yes: :yes: :yes: :yes:

i try to cover up my deep feelings until i get clues that they are reciprocated. it's fear of rejection, basically. as for deep relationships - i feel like i can hit it off well with someone in a matter of minutes, but long spans of time together make my heart melt. in a relationship everything changes. i'm usually flighty -> i'm probably too committed. i'm usually distractable -> i'm probably too attentive to the object of my affection. if you want to understand me in a relationship, basically take everything you know about me and turn it on its head. i tried to figure out why... i think it's probably because i'm no longer the top of my priority list. the other person is.

curious things humans are, aren't we?

Tea-Snob said:
1) Easy access to a "silly switch" and / or a "poke with a stick" makes it very hard for us to be mad at one another. Infuriating though it is, I find myself grinning like an idiot at my ENFP whilst she is scolding me - and even worse she GETS IT.
:laugh: THIS IS TRUE. AND I LOVE IT.
:heart::heart:
 

Random Ness

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Woah woah woah, you aren't trying to compare MBTI and socionics, are you? The functions in socionics =/= the functions in MBTI in any way. Plus, there is no concept of letters. People are different MBTI types than they are socionics types quite often.
 

Tea-Snob

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Oh, this is so great! We do that, too! (INFJ/ENFJ) My husband and I couldn't even get in arguments for the first 5 years we were married, because we both thought the other person looked so ridiculous when they were mad. So when we started an argument, we always ended up in a fit of laughter.

Yes, that's it! :) It's not easy being mad at someone when they have a copy of your instuction manual that tells them all your cheat codes! :S I would define spending time with my ENFP as "Getting very dizzy whilst someone pokes me with a stick - but in a good way" - My ENFP defines spending time with her INFJ as "This is the chance I've been waiting for, let's FLY, woooo!! Look at all the stars!!!"

you both have an easy time keeping the faith? is she a 7w6 or 7w8? an sx type?

It is not always easy but I do think though that dynamic sort of trumps everything.. I hope it will always be that way or better XD
 

Crescent Fresh

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I like ENFPs but find that they have a habit of collecting more people than they have time to maintain friendships with. Every now and then they tend to clean house. They are very outwardly warm with acquaintances and friends, which can make you feel closer than you really are. Therefore they sometimes they have a tendancy to seem...fickle, even though I think they are sincere. They also do seem to like having some internal space that is private and to themselves - more than you might initially see. I also find the Fe (INFJ) vs Fi (ENFP) can sometimes be a challenge. However, I like them and think they're interesting, fun, great people.

+5

I wish I had bumped into this thread earlier, everything is spot-on here.
 

Starry

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^^while I don't deny that there (must be) are ENFPs that actively seek-out new friends (collecting people)...I, myself, have not witnessed this irl. What I have often observed, however, is other people 'collecting' the ENFP...and then the ENFP becoming subject to that new relationship because of an inability to say 'no'. And I think this is where the 'cleaning house' comes from.

fwiw - I do think this is why I find myself attracted to INxJ...because I don't feel like I am being 'collected'. I do not feel like I am somehow becoming someone's source of entertainment or a 'project'. I feel like I am being seen for all my layers...and as an intellegent person. Not some sort of trained monkey.
 

Tofu562

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I like meeting new people, but I stick around my core of close friends most of the time.
 

Reverie

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A person will show up immediately on my radar, but I need time to assess them before I move in on their space, or let them move into mine. And, it has been my experience that INFJ's tend to keep their distance too - like they have to be sure I won't mangle them or something. :D But, then they pounce without warning. It's always a surprise, and I'm never sure what I said or did that finally made them feel safe enough to jump on me. :D

I haven't read the whole thread but this would be an apt description. My husband who turned out to be ENFP (once I managed to catch him in flight and glued him to the computer seat to do various tests to humor me) and I met at a bar and it was love at first sight. I saw him and my inner voice said "That's your future husband". He stopped in his tracks to stare at me and apparently had decided he was going to marry me. I had come there to work though, so I had to postpone this inevitable meeting. He kind of sneakily circled around me observing and then made a subtle move coming to chat me up about what I was doing. I was a little dismissive as I really had to work first. I knew he wasn't going anywhere and he knew I was "in the bag".. ;D When I finished he was sitting at a table with some girls admittedly to make me jealous. It was so obvious what was going to happen though that I just marched there and said "Looks like you need company" He said "I've got company" pointing out to some really fetching girls at his table. There were no more seats at the table. I said "Not the right company" and said "Scoot over" and sat on half of his seat. He just laughed and we were like meatballs and spaghetti ever since. Been married four years now. We've had maybe three or so fights and generally only because of stressful outside situations like bills and other things neither are too great at handling, but I can't say that anything in his personality bothers me. I just really enjoy his company. I only get moapy if he's away for too long doing favors for everyone, as he does tend to bring out people's incompetence and his phone rings constantly. It irks me. And there was a problem with me using the slightly passive aggressive sarcastic tone with him. He had really no problem with my grievance, but with the delivery. I try to remember to be extra sensitive and loving in my delivery if I have to "have talks". He does get enough of people being unfairly critical for mistaking his genuine attempts as something else. The most infuriating memory to me was two of his family members criticizing him for not giving them an actionplan in advance (which I know all too well he actually does not have. No plan-Action! He's already excecuting the plan as it comes, perhaps) they said "That's our ***, always larger than life!" and rolling their eyes. I was fuming! I just thank god someone is a little larger than life!!!
 
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