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  1. #21
    mountain surfing nomadic's Avatar
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    wow. i never circle, i just look at each layer until it peels away, cus it takes time for me to get really attached. and if i find something too much to handle, then i just kinda phase out...

    there's actually this infj girl i know, and we get along pretty electrically. if that can describe it. she has made it clear to me the door is ajar for me... but there's reasons i can't go after her, and haven't in the past...but but if i was forced to be together with her, i would be happy on many levels.

  2. #22
    Badoom~ Skyward's Avatar
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    Elaur's post is spot on with me. If I like someone in even a slightly romantic way I have already lost. I wont get the relationship because I'll be trying to hard. I have to learn to take things more objectively or I'll put the person on a high pedestal. Romantic interest seems only successful only after I have become friends with the person and understand them better.
    'Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and its better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.' - Marilyn Monroe

    This is who I am, escapist, paradise-seeker.
    -Nightwish

    Anthropology Major out of Hamline University. St. Paul, Minnesota.

  3. #23
    Senior Member IEE623's Avatar
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    To the OP, I think ESTPs would be a better match for INFJs. There is still on-going argument about the comparative introverts between Socionics and MBTI. A lot of ppl believe the IxxJ in MBTI would be Ixxp in Socionics and vice versa.
    "Adversity makes men, and prosperity makes monsters"

  4. #24
    Junior Member Cheat1011's Avatar
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    INFJ = MBTI INFP

    Socionic labels it INFJ because an INFP's dominant function is a judging one, Introverted Feeling.
    Ti > Ne > Fi > Si > Te > Ni > Se > Fe

  5. #25
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
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    my understanding too is that duals are infp-estj and infj-estp which seem much more accurate in my experiences. i think estp especially makes more sense for infj females, and the estp and estj males for females makes sense especially for 4s and 9s who are said to look for a parental figure (1s, 8s, and maybe? 6s) and often dig etj guys and etp men. infj 6s and 9s generally get along well with 3s bc they feel safe (that outward 3 confidence is oh so reassuring!).

    5s also often like 2s, which is partly why 5 intps can go for esfjs or enfjs so easily. 4s and 4 wings often feel like 2 is going backwards or the wrong direction (disintegration). 6s and 5w6 are probably more appreciative of 2w3 than 5w4, who wants intensity.

    i like enfp a lot. i like dominant intuitives a lot. but i am a 5w4 and i pretty much need to communicate profoundly continuously or i feel bottled up, so sharing perceptions and perceptual legibility/interpretation/anticipation are absolutely crucial for me. as a 5 i get 4s and i get 6s. 7 is like the 5 antidote. it pulls you out of your shell. 8 and 3 do not mesh easily with 5. we all think we're (OBVIOUSLY) right and communication is terrible as a result.

    4w5 infjs have a very deep need for communication but they deal with their questions and concerns and inner life more in terms of ethics (practical reason), whereas 5w4 deals more in terms of knowledge/truth (the universal). as such they can hold out longer without communicating profoundly and meaningfully, as they see their individual journey as more of a behind-the-scenes backdrop for their lives (a quiet, PRIVATE project). whereas 5s need to chart-the-course more assertively or they feel wasted and incomplete and purposeless.

    we used to talk about infp and infj as mirror images of each other. infj and enfp are more mirror images. n, f, t, s just facing in the opposite direction each moment. left-brained and right-brained version. infj and entp are like alter egos with the same judgment just flip-flopped in order of importance. and intj and infj share the exact same cartography on their journey.

    infj males are less likely to go for a T woman, but in the end it does promote growth and self-sufficiency and rationality in a very positive way. tho at times the intense F saturation of an nf woman, too, is extremely refreshing, cleansing, and regenerative (for all things F- colors, music, art, delicate shades of feeling, selfhood, personal values (read: valuation), etc).

    also, some people test way more partners before being able to accept anyone. some people accept others almost wholly right off the bat. some are far more dedicated/committed to ltr and others don't need it nearly as much, or value it at different points in their lives enough to make it worth its while. these somes make all the difference when you don't line up with another and don't see why.

    enfps seem scattered to infjs bc their thru traffic is so much higher and the idea that they are so much more capable as extroverts asserting their wills in the world makes us feel like we are at a disadvantage. our insecurities and defenses are largely built out of these fears, which stem from our lack of practice and lack of formulae to consult when we need to make something happen. we seem them scattered so far across the soil and worry so much about the grammar of the situation as if it will protect us, and oftentimes we are inexperienced enough and do not have the efficacy/confidence to realize that someone could, in fact, want to stay with us at all, choose our travel package over that of our competitors. and we're just afraid of getting hurt, which happens easily when you haven't shed your relationship baby fat and disillusioned yourself (and your incomplete and inaccurate upbringing/heritage) in the fiery furnace of the world.

  6. #26
    Senior Member mwv6r's Avatar
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    Given the choice, I'd pick ENFP over ESTJ any day. No offense to the many fine ESTJs out there, but I just find that the ESTJ/INFJ dynamic is best as professional business partners or something of that nature. In the workplace we have a healthy respect for each others' strengths, but friendship-wise we have next to nothing in common and as far as a relationship goes, there is zero chemistry. This is just my personal experience of course, I know in this forum I've read of some instances of INFJs having successful relationships with ESTJs.

    Anyway.... INFJ+ENFP chemistry = AMAZING. I love me some ENFPs. Relationship-wise I don't know if I could keep pace with one, but as far as light flirting and friendship I find it to be a really fun dynamic.

  7. #27
    Retired Member Wonkavision's Avatar
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    By the way--

    I just noticed that Personalitypage.com lists INTJs and INFJs as ideal partners for ENFPs.

    link: ENFP Relationships

    (it's at the bottom of the page)
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  8. #28
    Senior Member TopherRed's Avatar
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    One of my favorite reference sites. ^
    Love is the point.

  9. #29
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    Same here.

  10. #30
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    I never really thought the S/N thing made the world's biggest difference, like a lot of people do. Then again, that's just my opinion.

    I don't really care if someone lives in the present or the future. I just care about their character traits, and I've found whether they know things intuitively or observe things through the senses, in most cases it has very little correlation with character being good or bad.

    The character traits are picked up by nature and nurture, personal choices, their other traits such as extroversion/introversion, E/I and J and P.

    However, whether someone is intuitive or sensing, to me, is pretty unimportant in most cases. The point is, living entirely in the present or living entirely in the future is unhealthy either way, so a truly healthy person won't do either. If someone has trouble seeing the big picture, it doesn't make them a bad person. Likewise, if someone is relatively unobservant about the present, it doesn't make them bad either.

    The only types where sensing can affect things negatively for me is ESFJs. I get along great typically with ENFJs, but turn them into a guardian termperment and I can have issues, simply because I have trouble getting along with most ESJs I've met. Introverted sensing judgers, not so much trouble, but extroverted ones, can have trouble appreciating anything that's different from what they expect to be normal, and that annoys me to no end. Then again, I get along great with some other ESFJs I've known. ESTJs, I can usually avoid fighting with, but there is a definite tendency to clash because they typically believe the system works and INFJs often want to change it into something we feel is better.

    Otherwise, sensing people have skills I wish I had sometimes. They're often great dressers, can take care of the day to day things, observant, etc. I would have no problem dating an intuitive or sensing person.
    A hero is someone who does the right thing without expectation of reward, just because it's the right thing to do.

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