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  1. #21
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Oh, please. I don't see any reason to single out ENFJs on this issue. ENFJs are no less capable of committing to one person than any other type, but they are more capable than other types of naturally charming the stink off you. That is no fault of theirs.

  2. #22
    Senior Member Drezoryx's Avatar
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    i demand my fanclub right now
    Type 8 sx/sp/so
    O:C:E:A:N :: 65:69:59:57:9

  3. #23
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by slumdogtrillionaire View Post
    i demand my fanclub right now
    You probably have one. Most ENFjs I know are also in denial of their fanclub . I think it's because they view those casual relationships differently than they appear to others (?).
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  4. #24
    Senior Member TopherRed's Avatar
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    ENFJs are performers, and naturally want a crowd of people to admire what they're doing. Sometimes, we forget to take into account that our magnetism creates false hope for relationship with our weaker sisters.
    Love is the point.

  5. #25
    Senior Member Drezoryx's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    You probably have one. Most ENFjs I know are also in denial of their fanclub . I think it's because they view those casual relationships differently than they appear to others (?).
    i love infps
    Type 8 sx/sp/so
    O:C:E:A:N :: 65:69:59:57:9

  6. #26
    Senior Member TopherRed's Avatar
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    I do too...:annoyed: they're like catnip, damn it...hard to resist unless their stubborn bend removes them from all logic.
    Love is the point.

  7. #27
    Senior Member Neutralpov's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    You probably have one. Most ENFjs I know are also in denial of their fanclub . I think it's because they view those casual relationships differently than they appear to others (?).
    What does this mean then? Do we think our fan club is our friends or is it vice versa that they think we are a friend?
    Extroverted (E) 67.74% Introverted (I) 32.26%
    Intuitive (N) 51.72% Sensing (S) 48.28%
    Feeling (F) 51.61% Thinking (T) 48.39%
    Judging (J) 69.44% Perceiving (P) 30.56%

    Type 1 Perfectionism |||||||||||||||||||| 83%
    so/sx/sp

  8. #28
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    I want to **** you all. Starting with my totally ****able fanclub.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  9. #29
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by HeatherC View Post
    What does this mean then? Do we think our fan club is our friends or is it vice versa that they think we are a friend?
    IDK, you tell me
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  10. #30
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    I've been meaning to reply to the Fan club part.

    To me when "fan club" was mentioned I got the feeling of it being some legion of devoted followers to an ENFJ, that the ENFJ doesn't really think about...they just like knowing they have people trailing behind them. OrangeAppled, could you explain what you meant when you said that?

    If they way I interpreted it was correct, I think that is a gross misunderstanding of a Fe (dom) motivations.

    I know that I'm gregarious and well-liked person...sometimes I get the feeling on this forum that admitting you're accepted by people and not a social outcast or awkward makes you some sort of sell-out or your relationships are automatically superficial and shallow. I know people like me because of the way I'm treated...people don't start leaving when I come around or conversation grinds to a halt, body language to me indicates that there is a positive response to my presence. I know this also because they don't have to treat me in a certain way; there is no benefit for and when they seek out my company. I've had people show this liking in ways I recognize and the reason WHY this happens is because I'm interested in other people. It's not hit or miss or spotty or really intense for a while and then dry as a desert. I typically and within reason make myself available and responsive to people and communicate that. I ask questions of them and SHOW that I'm interested consistently. Not conversations I have every now and then when I'm in the mood or when I finally notice them or something is so blatantly good or bad that I finally ask what's going on. I purposefully (and genuinely) have taken that time to talk with people and talk with them and they remember that. I can see from an outside perspective this may seem like a fan club, but from where I'm sitting this is a group of people that I like and have tried to cultivate a relationship that is more than an acquaintance.

    So from another's POV, it may seem like they are hangers-on and what not, but there was a relationship built on that. Typically it means that at some point we bonded. It doesn't mean that I would personally view these people as close friends, but there are people who I like, I feel comfortable with, and I believe we mutually enjoy each others company. I am not exclusive in that way, and for people who are more exclusive than me it looks like a fan club perhaps?

    And I'm sure there are some ENFJs who have a fan club and they just like to know a lot of people and frankly I find nothing wrong with that either. To me, the exclusivity of my social circle...I don't know, I accept that there will be people I like but I'll never be really close to (and vice versa) and that doesn't mean I need to cut them out of my life because we're not thisclose.
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
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