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  1. #11
    Junior Member a24kar's Avatar
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    I've seen evidence of an ENFJ having extreme difficulty breaking off a bad relationship. If the ENFJ's significant other is loving in the ways that makes the ENFJ feel special, then that ENFJ's significant other can be very, very, very BAD to/for the ENFJ themself and the ENFJ will stick around and take it as long as they feel they are being loved/appreciated. It can become a very vicious cycle of abuse.

  2. #12
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by StormySunshine View Post
    I think my ENFJ friend had the right idea when he had his parents arrange his marriage for him (they're Indian). With the huge burden of choosing a mate out of his hands, he's now
    There is definitely something to that. I have a friend in an arranged marriage (non-Indian) and she couldn't be happier. It seems like if you have a caring family, they would know you well enough to know who you are truly compatible with.

    Quote Originally Posted by Cypocalypse View Post
    How many ENFJs here gets into relationship troubles because of this:
    I can't even begin to tell you how many ENFJ men I know that string women along like this. Loudly proclaiming that they are in love with a woman, then professing that love doesn't exist, then swearing love for yet another. My cousin has 4 in rotation right now that he is soooo in love with (his words), yet when you ask him directly which one he "loves more", he'll swear that love has no meaning or some such evasive bullshit.

    There was one that he loved, but she loved him too much. Then there was another girl that he was really into, but she had a flat ass. Then when that girl left him, she was all he could think about while he was sleeping with a girl that he loved but couldn't commit to for yet another reason. I've just stopped listening. He stays friends with them all, and gets angry when a new love interest insists that he let these other women go.

  3. #13
    Senior Member TopherRed's Avatar
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    That sounds like an ENFJ that's out of control. I can place his exact issue, but I can say that's probably atypical.

    Then again, I grew up with certain moral boundaries. I do flirt, but I don't intentionally string anyone along...it's hard, but you gotta break the line when you realize they aren't just playing and you went too far with the innocent flirting.
    Love is the point.

  4. #14
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Remember Fuzzy: We're the devil.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  5. #15
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    No one said you were the devil, Pink. In fact, you are quite lovely (you specifically, and ENFJs in general). But everyone and every type has their issues and you can't get defensive every time someone says something remotely negative about ENFJs. Lord knows, I get NTP crap on a daily basis... It is what it is.

  6. #16
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    No one said you were the devil, Pink. In fact, you are quite lovely (you specifically, and ENFJs in general). But everyone and every type has their issues and you can't get defensive every time someone says something remotely negative about ENFJs. Lord knows, I get NTP crap on a daily basis... It is what it is.
    But my devilish shrine to you has pretty candles and shiny things glued to it!
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  7. #17
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    But my devilish shrine to you has pretty candles and shiny things glued to it!
    Yes, but one of those shiny things is my eyeball!

  8. #18
    Senior Member TopherRed's Avatar
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    I wasn't terribly offended, it sounds like Jenocyde has some really shitty ENFJ male friends.

    I try to be like not . Can't say I'm perfect, but I'm not a scoundrel. Friends can attest to that.
    Love is the point.

  9. #19
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    My cousin isn't shitty, he's just really fickle. Everybody loves him and worships him. It must be hard to be a man that all these women throw themselves at... I can hardly blame him. And the other ENFJ men I know are relatively the same. Super fickle, but in such high demand.

    "With great power there must also come great responsibility" - Stan Lee

  10. #20
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    ^ This is true - they are very likable. The ENFJ men I know are rather homely, and yet they still have a lot of women interested in them because of their personality. They just look to the wrong areas for why they have trouble in establishing a long term relationship: "I'm not good-looking enough", "I don't make enough money", etc., but to me, it seems like they won't take the risk of focusing on one person. They end up with a fan club, but not emotional intimacy.

    Like I said, I know ENFJs who don't have this issue either. It is just something that some fall into.


    I'm just wondering. How much of this is due to an ENFJ's Fe not being able to dispose of unwanted guys.
    It might be an NF thing in general to be bleeding hearts (I'm very guilty of that in dating). I wouldn't be surprised if that was part of the issue for ENFJs also.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

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