[NF] Try not to make fun...

[MonkeyGrass]

For as long as I remember, I've resounded very strongly with the emotions of others. As I've gotten older and had more experience with people, I've learned to avoid certain types of people and to protect myself from picking up on their negative emotion.


So, recently, with my own children, my spouse, a few friends and with birth clients, I've noticed that when they're obviously upset about something, if I touch them (intentionally and instinctively) on the back or on the head, I'm instantly filled with tension/loneliness/fear/anger/worry, minus all the thoughts that usually accompany that emotional sensation. It's like pure emotion, and it's almost instant. Lately, I've found myself doing it purposefully with my two youngest children, and I notice that they go from very distraught to very relaxed more quickly. It helps me to let go of the emotion if I visualize letting it go back to God/the air/whatever.

Am I just a nutcase? Is there a precedent for this kind of sensation? What am I doing?? I'm very curious, and afraid, really, to talk to anyone IRL about it, least I be laughed out of the room.

 

[Liminality]

The closest thing I've heard to that is when my mum talks aout her empathy, about being able to sense just by touching sometimes.

Close physical contact is rather underrated in these modern times I'd say, too. They say a child should be hugged and told they're loved several times a day - just three small words and a hug, and when one's upset sometimes just that small closeness can aleviate a lot of misery.

I've hit some low points, and at it's worst it was just a friend putting their arm around me and letting me lean against them that brought me back, you'd think it strange how something so simple could do a world of good, but it did . I think it was also the aspect of control, of calm assertion - instinctively taking the lead - they had, a sort of...maternal, paternal strength, and warm, stready, protective vibe I'd never gotten before, and haven't since. Think an INTJ, out of the blue, pulling you close and vibing all warm, when you need it most.

Whatever it is you're doing, it seems to be good, if it slips away, worry not, it was a gift, and one you needn't feel guilty or useless for loosing.

 

[Fidelia]

I think there's something very powerful about touch. When someone is under stress, having someone to share that emotion with, even silently through touch, allows them to relax and alleviates the burden of it. That's part of what makes a shoulder or a foot rub such a wonderful thing. It is not just the physical relief that people crave, but the feeling that someone else is lifting a heavy load from them. while our muscles to react to stress by tensing up, I think it's really the emotion that's the root of the problem rather than the tight muscles. Therefore if you can help lift some of the weight of that emotion, many of the symptoms surrounding it also can go away.

 

[phthalocyanine]

maybe you have a strong sense of empathy paired with a natural inclination toward touch healing..we all feel at ease , i think, when we are in distress and then we get some kind of consoling physical touch, but it does seem to me that some people seem to have a sort of magic touch that soothes and calms others more than when others do the same thing...

so long as you can handle its effects on you, i'd say this is a really wonderful gift for a person to have, especially as a parent, whatever it is.

and i don't think you're a nutcase for posting about this (not sure if that really is any consolation though; i'm not always seen as the most firmly rooted in reality myself )

 

[MonkeyGrass]

Thanks for your replies! I'll be back tomorrow to reply more in-depth, but for now, everyone here is sleeping, and that means time for me to sleep, too.

 

[Charmed Justice]

The right touch is curative, and touch is necessary for human survival.
I absorb people's emotions in the same way that you described.
When my son used to have tantrums, I'd run my fingers from his head down to his feet and tell him that all the "angries' were leaving him through his toes. It always worked.
I also remember when I was sick, if my mother rubbed my back or stroked my hair, I would often catch the cure.
Touch is strongly related to the infant bonding experience, and I imagine that people who are highly empathetic can use it best, and also respond to it best.
You're def not a nutcase!

 

[will5250]

Hey. It's so nice to see this somewhere. Someone else with an experience similar to mine. Wow. It has never occurred to me to touch someone who is feeling depressed; just being in their presence is overwhelming enough. However I have observed that I do feel people's emotions much more intensely when I approach them from the back, or after they have walked past me, than what I feel when I approach them from the front, or before they have walked passed.

So you're afraid folks might think you're a nut if you discuss things like this openly. Join the club kiddo. But what a neat idea; touch them so that you disperse the intensity of their emotions. That would certainly do a lot to avoid fraying my nerves at the same time. Of course there is the practical side. It's not exactly copacetic to go around touching total strangers on the back of their head, but it's something I can add to my hugs. But for total strangers I may need to settle for a less direct approach, like prayer and sending telepathic hugs; and you were afraid folks would think you were crazy.

 

[will5250]

I have a couple of curious questions for you. Do you feel when someone, particularly when someone who is also empathic reads your posts? Also, do you find yourself feeling great love swell up inside you for the person when you feel their vibe? I have had several people tell me they experience feeling other people read their posts, but the latter attribute, from my observations, appears to be intensely rare.

 

[Drezoryx]

please carry on posting here! its nice to read this! i can identify myself with this to an extent.

my idea is to get a light vibration going in the third eye and become aware of the spine from base to top and into the third eye. then with concentration i run my hands from head to toe of anyone sick in the family. the body of the person itself guides where the hands should go. i keep atleast one foot planted on the ground and imagine collecting the ill energy and transmitting it to the ground.

this works probably i see more vitality in a person after this throughout the day than without it. i hope its not imagination.

simple grounding of the body it seems. + cleansing of the aura

 

[Sacrator]

sounds like your pretty empathetic could mean you have a very high emotional IQ if its actually authentic emotion they're experiencing.

 

[Wonkavision]

Am I just a nutcase? Is there a precedent for this kind of sensation? What am I doing?? I'm very curious, and afraid, really, to talk to anyone IRL about it, least I be laughed out of the room.

That's incredible.

Intuition is so amazing.

INFs, in particular, seem to have some crazy psychic abilities.

I don't know what else to say, except "That's awesome. I wonder how you could develop it?"

I've seen similar stories in the news. I think it's great that it's being taken seriously.

 

[Chloe]

i dont understand what's wrong with this, i mean.. where's the problem ?
and also i think you're overreacting about all scenario, tbh

 

[will5250]

i dont understand what's wrong with this, i mean.. where's the problem ?
and also i think you're overreacting about all scenario, tbh

Ok, I'll give you something that I have been concerned about. The difference between these experiences and what psychiatrists call "Magical Thinking" seems like a very fine line to me. I am very careful about who I discuss these kinds of experiences with. I think for me anyway, IRL, its better not to talk about it, and let folks wonder how I know, or not know how I accomplished something, or even not know it was me. All I really care about anyway is did my efforts accomplish their goal.

 

[phthalocyanine]

^ i agree 100%. i wonder why bizarre concepts like the oedipus complex are fine and dandy but concepts such as empathy are not considered viable, and in many cases are labeled as disorder or delusion with regard to psychology..

 

[Stanton Moore]

Ok, I'll give you something that I have been concerned about. The difference between these experiences and what psychiatrists call "Magical Thinking" seems like a very fine line to me. I am very careful about who I discuss these kinds of experiences with. I think for me anyway, IRL, its better not to talk about it, and let folks wonder how I know, or not know how I accomplished something, or even not know it was me. All I really care about anyway is did my efforts accomplish their goal.

I agree. I sometimes have these crazy 'magical' thoughts, but I never tell anyone I've had them.

 

[will5250]

^ i agree 100%. i wonder why bizarre concepts like the oedipus complex are fine and dandy but concepts such as empathy are not considered viable, and in many cases are labeled as disorder or delusion with regard to psychology..

I suspect it could be related in some folks to shadow functions. They don't trust information from a function that is a shadow function for them. It of course is a theory.

 

[Drezoryx]

I suspect it could be related in some folks to shadow functions. They don't trust information from a function that is a shadow function for them. It of course is a theory.

^ possible and majority are SJ SP types who would simply laugh it off

 

[mockingbird]

This is so nice! Someone else like me. This level of empathy has become normal for me. It's not normal for most people, so I don't like talking about it. It seems like the definition of a crazy person to some people is merely a person who experiences things that they do not.

 

[MonkeyGrass]

I have a couple of curious questions for you. Do you feel when someone, particularly when someone who is also empathic reads your posts? Also, do you find yourself feeling great love swell up inside you for the person when you feel their vibe? I have had several people tell me they experience feeling other people read their posts, but the latter attribute, from my observations, appears to be intensely rare.

Yes, and yes. Actually, more the latter than the former. And it's not all the time...mostly people with whom I feel a closer connection.


OK. My further thoughts. I've been trying to do it more purposefully, and finding I can't bring myself to do it when I know they can probably deal with the emotion of the moment. When I do it, it's in a moment of blind empathetic reaction when the person is obviously completely overwhelmed with emotion, to the point of not being able to calm themselves. Maybe that's what's required for me to feel that deep empathy, or maybe my rational side is stopping me the rest of the time, so that the people around me stay healthy and know how to deal with their own emotions.

I dunno. I've also noticed that I seem to feel the impulse to deeply comfort more with certain emotions more than others. Pain is a huge one. The biggest really. Anger is really huge, and overwhelming, and doesn't seem to be something I can help with. In fact, it feels almost wrong to try to relieve it. Stress, panic, discouragement and despair seem helpable.

I feel like Alice right after she fell down the rabbit hole.


Here's a funny one: I was walking through the parking lot of a health store yesterday, and I sensed the man across the parking lot was going to sneeze when he passed my baby and I (I know, right? ), and automatically overruled my impulse to scoff and shifted my baby to my other hip and covered her face. And, a few seconds later, as we passed...the dude sneezed. I was officially weirded out.

 

[MonkeyGrass]

i dont understand what's wrong with this, i mean.. where's the problem ?
and also i think you're overreacting about all scenario, tbh

I don't think there's anything wrong with it. You'll have to excuse my self-abasing..it's a bad habit. It wasn't acceptable in the culture of my childhood to actually describe experiences like this. It would have been akin to witchcraft, which is a big taboo.

Ok, I'll give you something that I have been concerned about. The difference between these experiences and what psychiatrists call "Magical Thinking" seems like a very fine line to me. I am very careful about who I discuss these kinds of experiences with. I think for me anyway, IRL, its better not to talk about it, and let folks wonder how I know, or not know how I accomplished something, or even not know it was me. All I really care about anyway is did my efforts accomplish their goal.

Exactly.



More thoughts...

I'd think it was just me deeply emotionally resounding with others, except that others seem to benefit from touch at the same time that I experience the negative vibes/emotions as I touch them. I'd deny it, because I can't explain it and I hate feeling foolish, except that I've observed their bodies and expressions change. It's interesting.