So I have two ENFJ friends--one that is very expressive in his emotions, and one that isn't.
I like the friend who is expressive (Solomon, 65, ENFJ); he's entertaining and reminds me of myself on some of my more outgoing days. He isn't ashamed to get in your face and let you know where you could improve as a person. Social nicities mean everything to him, but aside from that, he's no respecter of men, and other conventions don't hold as much weight. He's an unmarried elder at my church (pretty sure he's straight, got jilted at the alter a long time ago, committed himself to God)--someone the F men look up to as a mentor and a guide.
My second friend holds his emotions in reserve (Daniel, 21, ENFJ). He's very much an ENFJ, Fe is primary and he thinks in basically the same manner as I did at his age (he's 21, believe it or not, three years can make a difference). This ENFJ has no issues dating, takes competition seriously, is much more of what I would like to be--a man's man. His secret? He isn't expressive with everything he does. People have to be paying attention to get his feel on things. He holds power in reserve.
What I want to know, from those of you who either are, or have experienced Fe-primary in a significant way, is how do you (or how have you seen people) handle Fe? What is the real next step in Fe maturity and growth? (what did your growth look like when you were my age?) What have you seen, married ENFJ men (if there are any on here), of this power of Fe? Were you always pretty volitile, or did you hold it in reserve before you found the right one?
I'm trying to figure out what my next step is in maturity and growth. I've realized most girls (that's important to me, btw, how girls see me) respond a lot better when the emo-gradient is less extreme...less revealing...creates more mystery.
Are ENFJs really supposed to be the most "introverted of all the extraverted types"?