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  1. #11
    Senior Member Drezoryx's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fuzzcrossed View Post
    Do you think it's safe to adopt this now? I'm very good at facades...I used to think that it was wrong to "become something I'm not", but now I just realize that the facades are optional aspects--pieces of the eight functions that I can choose to adopt, or not for an extended period of time. My father's Te preference for instance--for a period of time, I am capible of becoming mean and enjoying the suffering of others who "deserve it", and I occasionally want to conquer Canada "for the hell of it", and then go out to hunt down Osama Bin Laden and hang him in Times Square, but I don't choose to keep that mask on, as it's of no use to me except with other Te's.

    The problem is, I don't know what to call this new grounded persona yet.
    Its possible you're getting those childish ideas because as an enfj Te would be a less developed cognitive function working at the level of a 4-6 year old.

    A healthy enfj would use more of his primary 2 cognitive functions till the tertiary develops with age, that would be Ni and Fe. Even then Te would need to be kept in check by Fi otherwise unethical decisions could be taken. Thats what i gathered from one of the long threads earlier here.

  2. #12
    Senior Member Drezoryx's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fuzzcrossed View Post
    ^I use Ti on a frequent basis, though it's clear to me that I'm no where near as good at it as someone who was born using it. When I talk to a Ti, I lay down the general perception and they elaborate.

    I'm noticing that my primary function might need to be weilded differently in order to acheive results in areas of my life that are important to me. How others see me, for instance, is of grave importance--I need to be socially perfect; razor sharp to get things done. This sounds like a neurosis to most Fi's, but I find that a little sharpening/tuning of my Fe helps me to do great things. It's a stubborn function though, almost metal in composition--the easiest times of personal change for me are during times when the heat is on...when the metal is molten is the best time to reshape it.
    maybe there is more to it. I found there to be two subtypes of ENFJs over here The Two ENFj Subtypes - Socionix

    not sure how valid it is but i hope it helps.

  3. #13
    Senior Member TopherRed's Avatar
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    In Socionics, the J and the P are switched.
    Love is the point.

  4. #14
    Senior Member TopherRed's Avatar
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    Alright, so are there any suggestions as to how to control Fe? Sometimes I feel like it's a blazing star, striking out at any planets that dare orbit it. I think I'm ready to meditate or something, but I'm too full of energy and quickly get bored...
    Love is the point.

  5. #15
    Glycerine
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    I am a very reserved ENFJ... almost INFJ like (haha, a very analytical ENFJ). I am nice to people at large but I am only truly expressive to those I am close to. I have noticed this effect whenever I talked with my ENFJ teacher. We would tend to deflect each other in the sense that we were both friendly but highly private. My ESFJ dad seems to be much more friendlier and open than I am. The Ni can make the ENFJ very private it seems. I don't think ENFJ is the least extroverted but I wouldn't be surprised if it was the most private extrovert.

  6. #16
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fuzzcrossed View Post
    In Socionics, the J and the P are switched.
    Sigh. No... it doesn't work that way at all.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

  7. #17
    Retired Member Wonkavision's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fuzzcrossed View Post
    What is the real next step in Fe maturity and growth?
    Lenore Thomson on ExFJs:

    .....their approach to life is guided by rational ideals, and rational ideals are maintained by focusing on the predictable--things that can be anticipated and controlled.

    When EFJs rely too heavily on Extraverted Feeling, they have no way of perceiving the messy, unpredictable, irrational side of life--except in negative terms: as something to be gotten under control. This is why their Introverted secondary function is a valuable source of information. By paying more attention to their immediate reactions, EFJs learn to deal with areas of life that can't be addressed with rational Judgement.

    Lenore Thomson on ENFJs in particular:

    Like all Extraverted Feeling enterprises, the theories ENFJs devise to domesticate the unpredictable have unmistakable social utility. In a culture short on collective values, these types offer standards, strategies, and a common vocabulary for the kinds of relationships we regard as decent and worth persuing. They help us to negotiate our expectations of each other, to make order in the otherwise random course of human events.
    Extraverted Feeling encompasses what is averagely attainable in a particular social system. The goals it encourages are not transcendingly fulfilling; they're collectively appropriate. ENFJs need more contact with Introverted Intuition to recognize that persuing rational ends doesn't, by a long shot, take the whole self into account. Without sufficient Intuition, they're prone to mistake the elimination of conflict for intimacy and good relationship, so they inevitably find new variables that threaten the ideal picture.

    Ironically, the more ENFJs focus on ideal relationships, the less they recognize people as individuals. They generalize about human behavior, unable to appreciate the unique nature of another's experience.
    ENFJs who cultivate their secondary function don't experience impulses that "free" them from their Feeling standpoint. They become aware of subjective experience that can't be addressed by meeting Feeling goals, experience they haven't yet tapped or taken into account. This other part of themselves requires a different kind of nourishment---kinesthetic, artistic, contemplative: a way to take shape apart from questions of a collective nature.
    Recognizing this part of themselves grounds ENFJs; they begin to feel at home in the world in a new way. They become more honest about their feelings, able to tolerate disagreement with others and the effects of radically different life experiences. Moreover, they see people's genuine possibilities, and they have the drive and energy to bring them out in a way that benefits society as well.

    I hope you find this helpful.
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  8. #18
    Senior Member TopherRed's Avatar
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    I can't yet fully comprehend it, but I know it's true...

    Quote Originally Posted by Wonkavision View Post
    Lenore Thomson on ExFJs:




    Lenore Thomson on ENFJs in particular:








    I hope you find this helpful.
    Love is the point.

  9. #19
    Senior Member Drezoryx's Avatar
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    @wonkavision this book is so nice i need to buy it! thanks for the quotes!

    @Fuzz in brief what the quotes from Lenore Thomson are saying is that the next level of evolution can be achieved by getting in touch with introverted intuition. This can be done by having an artistic hobby, like playing a musical instrument or sketching, or writing etc. This grounds enfjs from where they see the world in an entirely new light.

    i hope i understood that right.

  10. #20
    Retired Member Wonkavision's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by slumdogtrillionaire View Post
    @wonkavision this book is so nice i need to buy it! thanks for the quotes!
    Hey, no problem.

    It IS a really good book.

    It's incredibly helpful.
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