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View Poll Results: Ever found yourself weird compared to others, but caused by personality?

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  • Yes

    17 80.95%
  • No

    1 4.76%
  • Yes, but not because of my personality type. :P

    3 14.29%
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  1. #1
    Junior Member shadowstormz's Avatar
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    Default Any Other INFJ's or Anyone Face This Problem?

    I was wondering if any ever experienced trying to 'step out and away' from their initial personality type?

    The first time I took the MBTI test, I came off as an ENFJ, but I worked so hard to make myself an extrovert rather than an introvert. As an INFJ, I always thought myself strange in comparison to others. Perhaps my Enneagram 4 kicked in, but I always found myself depressed over the fact that I needed to 'recharge' and just get away from social situations because I didn't find it normal. In a way, getting to know my real personality type has made me understand myself better.

    So, back to the question. Is this common to INFJ's? Perhaps because we're so few in 'real-life'? Or was that I phase I just went through?

  2. #2
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by shadowstormz View Post
    I was wondering if any ever experienced trying to 'step out and away' from their initial personality type?

    The first time I took the MBTI test, I came off as an ENFJ, but I worked so hard to make myself an extrovert rather than an introvert. As an INFJ, I always thought myself strange in comparison to others. Perhaps my Enneagram 4 kicked in, but I always found myself depressed over the fact that I needed to 'recharge' and just get away from social situations because I didn't find it normal. In a way, getting to know my real personality type has made me understand myself better.

    So, back to the question. Is this common to INFJ's? Perhaps because we're so few in 'real-life'? Or was that I phase I just went through?
    I don't understand exactly what you're trying to say, but I will say that I feel different from most people, because I don't seek social interaction at all, but only deal with it when it comes to me. I probably don't seem strange in casual contact, but I probably do seem unusual to people who deal with me on a regular basis (although they usually don't seem to think that's a bad thing).

    Another way I seem to be different is that I'm kind of precise about things. I seem to know all sorts of trivia about various subjects, sometimes enough to discuss them semi-intelligently. Especially if it's related to language, history, psychology, or technology. I also seem to need more things explained to me before I understand/deal with them, things most people would feel comfortable making assumptions about, or even just completely ignoring and allowing someone else to handle.

    I'm usually considered a 4w5. Do you consider yourself to be a wingless 4, 4w3, 4w5, or another type entirely?

  3. #3
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    The weird hasn't really bothered me much, but being bad at keeping up with my responsibilities has. I tried to be an ISFJ for many years and beat myself up for not being able to do it.

    It's so hard to stay focused on concrete, repetitive tasks and to remember all the details I need to remember in order to do a good job. It makes me very inefficient which, with my perfectionism and low energy levels is not a good combination. One of the best things I ever did was lower some of my standards and expectations for myself.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  4. #4
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    I cannot speak for INFJs; but everyone struggles with an "ideal image" that they hold up for themselves and eventually learning to accept themselves as they are, if they're to grow and thrive.

    S's who want to be N's; NF's who want to be more detail oriented; T's who want to be more empathetic or people-friendly; the list goes on and on.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  5. #5
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    Oh, sure. I've often felt weird and like it was wrong to be how I am. Not so much any more, but when I was in high school and college--and even after that. I always thought I should be an ESTJ, though I could never manage it.

    I think it took my turning 30 before I began to appreciate myself for who I am. That, and having real friends who like me for myself.

    Even now I sometimes get into a twisted state of mind in which I 'know' I ought to be different, but I can't quite manage it. That's when I have to quit brooding so much all alone and be with people who will help give me perspective.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Sahara's Avatar
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    You are describing my every day feelings and I'm an infp. I beat myself up all the time for being dysfunctional, disorgansied, procrastinator, unsociable, spaced out, low energy levels, pretty much everything.

    Tried so often to be better than what I am, but I fail of course.

    It's cool though lol I'm giving up on trying to change and just learing to accept who I am.
    "No one can be free of the chains that surround them"

  7. #7
    Furry Critter with Claws Kiddo's Avatar
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    The first time I ever took the test it told me I was INTP. After spending some considerable time with INTPs on that other forum, I kept getting told I was an NF and I honestly didn't feel like an INTP. So I took a lot of time off, reread the descriptions, and came back as an INFP, where I was then repeatedly told that my F sounded "strained".

    I always had a dislike for the INFJ descriptions even when other tests typed me as such because I didn't consider myself "psychic" or "mystic" so I kept trying to be something else. After talking to some of the INFJs on that other forum, I realized they had some creepy similarities to me, so I came over here. So far, the INFJ description has suited me best because I can usually relate to what the other INFJs here are saying. Although athenian and toonia seem to be a lot more analytical than me, cafe and others even seem to think the same way I do. Someone suggested there might be a spectrum for INFJs, and I believe that could be very true, and as such I think a lot of INFJs can mistype and then try to fit the type.

  8. #8
    Member shimsham's Avatar
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    I tested as INTJ the first time I took the test. When I read the description, my response to about 50% of the traits was "eh, not really." So I was a bit confused about that for awhile. I checked out a message board on some other site for INTJs, and just found their way of approaching discussions to be drastically different from mine. They were all incredibly intelligent, which I appreciate in people, but also fairly immodest, which I just couldn't see in myself (no offense to the INTJs out there- I think it was more the message board I was on than any inherent INTJ-ness).

    Lately, I've been typing as INFJ, the description of which I find almost eerily applicable to myself (except for psychic abilities, can't really say I have those). I like being able to attribute some of my quirkiness to my personality type, but I'm also wary of using my type as a crutch. I think that there are some things about the INFJ personality that I see in myself that I want to work on (a tendency to take things personally, for example). I also often wish that I could fare better with small talk at parties, not because I find small talk interesting, but because it would make those social situations a bit less of a strain.

    Basically, I think INFJ is the way to be. We're a bit strange, but also quite lovable. We're quiet and have anti-social tendencies, but also have a deep appreciation for relationships with people we care about. And there's always something exciting about suddenly "knowing" the answer to something, just really pulling it out of your mental ether, if you will.

  9. #9
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kiddo View Post
    Someone suggested there might be a spectrum for INFJs, and I believe that could be very true, and as such I think a lot of INFJs can mistype and then try to fit the type.
    Yes, there's a spectrum for each type, I think... depending on a number of things:

    1. Whether the primary or the secondary is emphasized.
    2. Childhood experiences and especially "survival circumstances".
    3. Gender roles/thinking.
    4. Workplace environment / job demands.
    5. Standard personal flux in a personality type.

    I have been pondering putting together each type with a few "typical archetypes." I have not done it yet though.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  10. #10
    Senior Member xNFJiminy's Avatar
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    Other people tell me I'm weird. Even my own mum. Haha, but not nastily. Definitely, I hear this less when in extrovert mode than when in introvert mode. As to whether I feel weird, I don't know, what does weird feel like? Or is it more a thought-out belief that you are different to most people in a significant way? If the latter, I've thought that sometimes, and sometimes it makes it hard to know how to communicate about things others see so differently, but it doesn't make me want to change my type or myself in any way. Makes me want to change everyone else.

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