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View Poll Results: Ever found yourself weird compared to others, but caused by personality?

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  • Yes

    17 80.95%
  • No

    1 4.76%
  • Yes, but not because of my personality type. :P

    3 14.29%
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  1. #11
    Resident Snot-Nose GZA's Avatar
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    I'm INFP, but I'm going to answer anyway... hope thats ok, sorry if it isn't.

    I used to feel weird about who I was and what I naturally tend to do, but that was back when I was maybe 10... that probably went on untill I was 14. At that point, I began getting a lot more comfortable with myself, and now, two years later, I'm generally very comfortable with myself. My only worries (that relate to this, anyway) or how I can use my naturally tendancies to my advantage. I think there is a lot of friction between who I want to be/should be/am and what I'm suppose to be from the outside. I'm fine with who I am, and although I'm not even sure if I have any ambitions or anything, I think that the ones I probably have deep down wouldn't neccasarily be encouraged by my oh-to-practical parents. What I want to do and tend to do doesn't always agree with what I'm told to do... in a sense. I'm not saying I'm a rebellious person or anything, but I don't think I neccasarily would do well if I did what I'm encouraged to do (which is pretty much study business, or history, or become an architect, or a lawyer. I have no problem studying history, but those other things? Blah). I don't really know what it is I really want to do though, maybe be a writer or musician... but I'm still not sure.

    I'm told I'm weird on a regular basis, but I'm fine with that... I think people find me weird in a charming sort of way, because people never stop talking to me for being weird. I get way weirder when in "extravert" mode, too.

  2. #12
    Senior Member INTJMom's Avatar
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    I am an INTJ/INFJ combination. Before reading the comments here from other INFJs on this board, I had no idea how INFJ I really was. (I enjoy the NF board much more then the NT board, too.)

    From the day I discovered that there were other people out in the world just like me, I have not felt weird or defective. I have just as much right to exist as anybody else. I am just as "normal" as the next person.

    I have never considered "I" as "anti-social". That's so negative. It is just as valid to be an "I" as to be an "E". Being "I" isn't bad or wrong. It is a normal way some people function. All the MBTI preferences are normal. We should learn to appreciate all the differences for what they are. Every strength has a weakness. Is are good at some things that Es would never be good at. Es are good at some things that Is would never be good at. Both are equally good and necessary.

  3. #13
    Junior Member shadowstormz's Avatar
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    Reading all of your replies (and I mean all) makes me feel a bit better. As an INFJ, I don't reveal my inner thoughts to just anyone, just those close to me. But being away from home in university, I haven't been able to find anyone close enough to me to share things with. I'm glad that I'm not the only one who's gone through this.

    I appreciate all of your sincere feedback. Sorry if I wasn't so clear on the point I was trying to make in the first post. It was a late night and I think my fingers were doing more typing than my brain was.

    I guess we're all weird to an extend because we're all unique. I'm happy to hear that most of you have gotten over your personal dilemmas.


    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Kiddo View Post
    Someone suggested there might be a spectrum for INFJs, and I believe that could be very true, and as such I think a lot of INFJs can mistype and then try to fit the type.
    Yes, there's a spectrum for each type, I think... depending on a number of things:
    And I agree with Kiddo and Jennifer. I believe there is a spectrum of each personality type. (If there wasn't, we'd all be quite predictable or even the same.)

    Well, I'm running out of ideas to type..

    All this sharing is making me mushy. Anyone need a hug?

  4. #14
    Junior Member shadowstormz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTJMom View Post
    From the day I discovered that there were other people out in the world just like me, I have not felt weird or defective. I have just as much right to exist as anybody else. I am just as "normal" as the next person.
    Sorry for double posting, but this came up while I was posting and I wanted to just comment on this.

    I agree with this exactly. The day I discovered that I was an INFJ and that there ARE other people out there like me, it settled me. Especially to all the personality types that aren't the majority of the population and probably even more so for the introverts, I think it means a lot to meet people with the same quirks, same experiences, and the same personality as themselves. So I guess this is a thank-you to this board, its creator, and all of its members!!

  5. #15
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTJMom View Post
    I am an INTJ/INFJ combination. Before reading the comments here from other INFJs on this board, I had no idea how INFJ I really was. (I enjoy the NF board much more then the NT board, too.)
    Welcome to the dark side.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  6. #16
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by shadowstormz View Post
    So, back to the question. Is this common to INFJ's? Perhaps because we're so few in 'real-life'? Or was that I phase I just went through?
    I have always felt out of step with people. I can smile and greet people and sort of go with the flow, but there is something more fundamental that just doesn't often connect. I don't mean this in the romanticized misunderstood artist kind of way. It isn't pleasant or colorful. It typically hurts. For me it is exacerbated by the fact that i moved around a lot as a kid and didn't form lasting bonds. It often hurts to be around people even though i like them. Being alone in nature feels soothing to me. People always seem very far away to me.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

  7. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sahara View Post
    You are describing my every day feelings and I'm an infp. I beat myself up all the time for being dysfunctional, disorgansied, procrastinator, unsociable, spaced out, low energy levels, pretty much everything.

    Tried so often to be better than what I am, but I fail of course.

    It's cool though lol I'm giving up on trying to change and just learing to accept who I am.
    Same here. I wonder why the INFP is pinned as the "optimists". INFP's thrive at times in the dark side.

  8. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by toonia View Post
    I have always felt out of step with people. I can smile and greet people and sort of go with the flow, but there is something more fundamental that just doesn't often connect. I don't mean this in the romanticized misunderstood artist kind of way. It isn't pleasant or colorful. It typically hurts. For me it is exacerbated by the fact that i moved around a lot as a kid and didn't form lasting bonds. It often hurts to be around people even though i like them. Being alone in nature feels soothing to me. People always seem very far away to me.
    I have this issue, too. I'm also constantly conflicted because I have a need to connect with those around me, but it's very rare that I actually do. When I was younger, I was convinced that I lived in a different world than everyone else because I felt so far removed. I'm a little less dramatic about it now that I'm older, but I frequently get that same removed feeling.

  9. #19

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    Quote Originally Posted by toonia View Post
    People always seem very far away to me.
    I have a feeling I describe that way too. I wonder if we are talking about the same thing.

    For me, even people I like and like me, it feels like our perspectives are so vastly different that there is no way of understanding what (s)he thinks/feels and no way to get her/him to understand I how I think/feel.

    We can relate experiences, we can relate beliefs, but everytime I try to probe into how people think and feel at a deeper level they recoil. When I try to express how I think and feel at a deeper level, many get scared, and at best changes the topic.

    Is this what you mean, too?

    Accept the past. Live for the present. Look forward to the future.
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  10. #20
    Junior Member shadowstormz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by toonia View Post
    I have always felt out of step with people. I can smile and greet people and sort of go with the flow, but there is something more fundamental that just doesn't often connect. I don't mean this in the romanticized misunderstood artist kind of way. It isn't pleasant or colorful. It typically hurts. For me it is exacerbated by the fact that i moved around a lot as a kid and didn't form lasting bonds. It often hurts to be around people even though i like them. Being alone in nature feels soothing to me. People always seem very far away to me.
    Yes! This is exactly what I'm talking about. I, too, as a child, moved around quite a fair bit. I couldn't have explained it better than you just have.

    Quote Originally Posted by quietgirl View Post
    I have this issue, too. I'm also constantly conflicted because I have a need to connect with those around me, but it's very rare that I actually do. When I was younger, I was convinced that I lived in a different world than everyone else because I felt so far removed. I'm a little less dramatic about it now that I'm older, but I frequently get that same removed feeling.
    In my childhood, I often tried to always look for one friend that I could trust and confide in that person greatly. But when high school rolled around, I somewhat lost a person I can confide in soley and also find it difficult to connect with others. Don't get me wrong, but I had friends and I'm sure quietgirl and toonia had friends, too, but the depth of connection was probably not achieved to the point where the INFJ in us let us talk freely about our feelings and thoughts. We probably just didn't feel we had enough connect to just blurt it out. In my case, I just felt that I would be misunderstood or just partially understood. I guess it takes months or even years to build a relationship with the person you wish to confide in before an INFJ will finally share his or her feelings. I've found a person lately, but even so, I don't feel as though my thoughts were received fully or the way I've wanted to have them received. I guess that's the reason why I've always kept it to myself and perhaps the reason INFJ's are so hard to get to know in real-life.

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