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  1. #1
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    Question NFs would you mind if I ask you something "personal" ?

    How do you pick emotions of other people ?


    In theory this is something in what NFs are suppose to be great at. So I am wondering how this works. Do you understand what the person is feeling right away? (like you should in online tests)
    Or it is more likely that you will slowly have to figure it out through a body language/voice or somethinng like that ?

    I am wondering if you try to determine this piece of information by "default" or it taks a conscious action to do this ? (or it depends)



    Also if someone asks you how many emotions do you recognize what would you say as an answer ?



    The reason why I am asking is because I am wondering about how to have a better dinamic with NFs in real life.

  2. #2
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
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    1. Body language
    2. Tone of voice
    3. Words being used
    4. Previous experience with the person and their reactions
    5. Previous experience with someone similar and the other person's reactions compared.

    If you are trying to get people to accept you for who you are you need to address a few questions.

    a. Are you sure they are NF?
    b. Are they willing to take your information into account if you explain it? Or are they determined that they are "right" about you?
    c. Have you changed and they are going on earlier data?
    d. What weakness do they have built in that might be hurting their reading of you?

    The best way to change my absorbed beliefs about you is to have you explain to me exactly what you think is going on and let me stew on it. I will not accept your explanation without taking time to analyze and see if it actually fits your (and my) reactions.

    As an ENFP I am better at figuring out relationships I'm not involved in. When they get close to me I have more trouble seeing the truth in the situation. I think that might be the Ne, Fi difference kicking in. (not sure, just a theory, don't know much about functions)

    The people who are analyzing you might be having a similar issue depending on what NF they are. I'm not sure where the water gets muddied for other NFs.

    eta: We just absorb it. It gets better over years of correctly or incorrectly absorbing data and changing the people model. It reminds me of algebra. Would you think twice to answer x + 3 = 7 as x = 4? Of course not. Even if it takes some thought it's just so built in it just happens.

    I do have to be focused on a person to be able to do it. If I don't notice a situation develop I can miss things I should have included in my person calculation.

    How many emotions do I recognize? It's not about a number, it's about what someone is like. Cause and effect. It's bigger than just "that person is scared" - I need more data. Also, the interesting part isn't that they are scared or uncomfortable. It's why they are scared. Knowing someone is scared is just data, the interpretation is the fun stuff.

  3. #3
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    It's like picking a lock. You can't just will it open, you must take your time.

    I get a feeling straight away that something is going on and then look for certain clues in body language, tone of voice and things like that. So, the detection of emotions involves both the feeling and a later conscious action to find out the nuances.

    It also depends on how close I am to the person. The more closer, the easier and quicker it is to detect certain emotions and the more accurate it is. With strangers or people I'm not that close to, it might take some time to figure out but the initial feeling that something is up is still there in the beginning.

    How many emotions am I able to recognize? I don't know. How many are there? Haven't thought about it in such detail. I just feel it.

  4. #4
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    To be honest I have nothing in particular.
    Well I have managed to look as something other than machine lately but beneath the skin I am still good old AO you are familiar with. So it look to me that now is probaby even likely that I will come as a sociopath. Since in this case it could look like I am hidding something.


    The reason why I am opening all those threads is because I am drav to things I don't understand. (like people who relly much on their emotions)



    It is simply the fact that the only people I have been alble to relate during my life are Ts. At this point I can say that i have 4-6 friends. However all of them are guys and only for one I am doubting that he could be unexpressed NF.
    Creating a deep connection with an SF is not that much likely. But I think that I could start "expanding" to NFs. However NFs tend to be females what changes entire dinamic.



    So the reason why I am posting so many threads about this is because I want to understand how you work on the inside.
    But since I jet have to meet potencial NFs friends I think that it would be wise not to show too much things about my past or inner life. So the real thing I am wondering is how to "survive" emotional probing without looking as a potencial threat.
    The chances are not 100% that I will turn out that way but the chance is still realistic.


    Especially since she (or he) would probably want to understand how I operate on the inside.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Happyman's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elaur View Post
    1. Body language
    2. Tone of voice
    3. Words being used
    4. Previous experience with the person and their reactions
    5. Previous experience with someone similar and the other person's reactions compared.
    Wow, that's interesting! I mean really, because that's absolutely not the way it happens with me. I barely look at things like that. It just hits me, must be some unconscious process. (Did I understand you properly, you look for these consciously? Must be Fe/Ne difference ).
    I see a person and I.. somehow unconsciously copy them. If they're tensed I suddenly feel tension, i.e. in my arms. If they're happy, I feel it filling me.
    I'd call it intuitive NLP.

    As for number emotions... For me it's like: how many colours are there? Well, I give them some names, but there's more to it, like shades, brightness etc. So infinite number, but grouped around some words.

    I hope this is of any help. There's a great book called 'Social intelligence' by Daniel Goleman (author of 'Emotional intelligence'), it explains most of the things you're asking. The concept of 'mirror neurons' is great. Oh, look here: Mirror neuron - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
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  6. #6
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Happyman View Post
    Wow, that's interesting! I mean really, because that's absolutely not the way it happens with me. I barely look at things like that. It just hits me, must be some unconscious process. (Did I understand you properly, you look for these consciously? Must be Fe/Ne difference ).
    I see a person and I.. somehow unconsciously copy them. If they're tensed I suddenly feel tension, i.e. in my arms. If they're happy, I feel it filling me.
    I'd call it intuitive NLP.

    As for number emotions... For me it's like: how many colours are there? Well, I give them some names, but there's more to it, like shades, brightness etc. So infinite number, but grouped around some words.

    I hope this is of any help. There's a great book called 'Social intelligence' by Daniel Goleman (author of 'Emotional intelligence'), it explains most of the things you're asking. The concept of 'mirror neurons' is great. Oh, look here: Mirror neuron - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

    I have expected to see NFP/NFJ difference here.


    To be honest I can pick up peoples emotions but I have to invest energy and effort to figure something out on this field. Not to mention that to me it is fairly normal not to pay attention to them. So I presumume that I can cause discomfort even if I don't want to.


    but I must admit that it is true that smile can really help in this kinds of situation. (if it is not overdone)

  7. #7
    12 and a half weeks BerberElla's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sky is BLUE! View Post
    It's like picking a lock. You can't just will it open, you must take your time.

    I get a feeling straight away that something is going on and then look for certain clues in body language, tone of voice and things like that. So, the detection of emotions involves both the feeling and a later conscious action to find out the nuances.

    It also depends on how close I am to the person. The more closer, the easier and quicker it is to detect certain emotions and the more accurate it is. With strangers or people I'm not that close to, it might take some time to figure out but the initial feeling that something is up is still there in the beginning.

    How many emotions am I able to recognize? I don't know. How many are there? Haven't thought about it in such detail. I just feel it.

    Same here. I get a feeling about the persons mood, and after I get that feeling, that's when I start to look for other confirmation of my gut feeling.

    I have even phoned my friends knowing that something was up with them, without having spoken to them. Just a gut feeling that they needed me, and I have phoned and been spot on because they have been upset and have needed me. So the feeling I get isn't based off of anything I can see, it just comes to me.
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  8. #8
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Antisocial one View Post
    But since I jet have to meet potencial NFs friends I think that it would be wise not to show too much things about my past or inner life. So the real thing I am wondering is how to "survive" emotional probing without looking as a potencial threat.
    I get a feeling from almost everyone I meet; sometimes I don't want to pay attention to it, but it's there, simmering in the background. So it's quite impossible to really shield yourself from a very intuitive intuitive picking up on your subtleties. We can't help it.

    So you should just be yourself AO. Really. You will intrigue an NF at some point and they will take the time to dig deeper into you.

  9. #9
    Senior Member The Outsider's Avatar
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    I just get a feeling. Not a conscious process.

  10. #10
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    I get a feeling from almost everyone I meet; sometimes I don't want to pay attention to it, but it's there, simmering in the background. So it's quite impossible to really shield yourself from a very intuitive intuitive picking up on your subtleties. We can't help it.

    So you should just be yourself AO. Really. You will intrigue an NF at some point and they will take the time to dig deeper into you.

    I am well aware that I can't really hide it and to be honest I don't want to.
    What I am actually asking if there is a way to slow down the "getting to know each other" process. Which is because if things happen too quickly there is a larger chance that I will come the wrong way.

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