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  1. #61
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Goodewitch View Post
    Arghh, got carried away on trying to help with the conversation parts of your posts OP,.. to answer the original question.. about how i read a person or mood.. well, its not really a conscious thing.. i see the person, and straight away by their demeanour, and a sort of heavy, or light atmosphere around them, i discern wether they feel good or bad. Light mood feels energised, bad mood feels like heavy air, and a sense of sepression, fear,.. anger.. disappointment etc... whatever they are feeling sweeps over me too. All this happens in a second. Then i begin to consciously focus on the feeling they are emanating, and let my head start to whatever random visual imagery that comes into my mind about why they are feeling the way they ae feeling.
    For eg,...I may experience images of their boyfreind shouting at them, or a symbol of a broken heart, or a broken wedding ring, which I associate with broken trust or broken relationship... again, this is all happening very quickly,.. and i'll then maybe start to direct the conversation round to how they are, that they dont look happy today.. is everything ok with them... is all ok with their them and their boyfreind etc etc... they can then either say everythings ok, or they can say its not, and talk to me about it if they choose to.
    Its a vague descriptive, Im sorry, but its very hard to put into words... but maybe that helps a bit?
    G. x
    yeah...i know what ya mean...i get that too. the lightness or darkness...the tension or stress or sadness...you can feel it...it is a different weight. interesting...and yeah sometimes i do have flashes of someone yelling or crying...like maybe it was them earlier or something...i don't know what that is...weird.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
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  2. #62
    Member bronson's Avatar
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    Mmm its just like this vibe.

    I guess, breaking it down:

    1. Facial expression; their countenance and demeanour.
    2. Intonation and vocal expression.
    3. Physical positioning towards the other; even slight variations - they don't have to been huddled in a corner to know somethings wrong.
    4. Eye contact - much is communicated here without being spoken.
    5. Obviously what it is they're saying.
    6. Your relation to the person - obviously the more intimately you know a person, the more specifically you can read them. So any changes can symbolise an inner emotion they are feeling.

    Sometimes it is a somewhat instant revelation that meets their mood, feeling or experience. Other times a guessing game ensues, beginning with an awareness of something in that person that needs to be explored and understood.

    In my experience the introverts succeed best in reading as they are less likely to 'bombard' a person with questions etc. and are perhaps more diplomatic in breaking to the centre of what the person is feeling; they're better at listening. I'm far more likely to read quickly and then try and explain to the person why they feel the way they do, haha, not so effective, and far more likely to miss the target.

    I also do think there is a difference in the tactics used between INFJ's and INFP's. Not entirely sure what it is, but i think the INFJ's are more systematic perhaps.

    And no, I wouldn't say there is some finite list of emotions you can learn to recognise.
    They are interelated and complex. And multiple emotions can occur at once, whether in co-operation or paradoxically sitting side by side. I'd also think emotions are somewhat subjective, felt differently by different people - no one ever has the same experience of anything. You can only deal with each situation as it stands - our empathy is only the ability to imagine how the person is feeling so as to better identify where the person is at.

    Hmm

  3. #63
    Senor Membrane
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    Quote Originally Posted by Antisocial one View Post
    How do you pick emotions of other people ?
    1. Voice (I don't watch people in the eyes that much)
    2. Face / Eyes
    3. Posture / Tempo

    I'd say that voice is much more important than the others, or at least that's the main channel for me.

    Quote Originally Posted by Antisocial one View Post
    I am wondering if you try to determine this piece of information by "default" or it takes a conscious action to do this ? (or it depends)
    By default. And even if I don't want to. Angry people often make me more tense even if I hear them from far away and they have nothing to do with me.

    Quote Originally Posted by Antisocial one View Post
    Also if someone asks you how many emotions do you recognize what would you say as an answer ?
    I'm not sure what this means. The emotions are like a scale. They are a tone. If you asked me how many colors I recognize I wouldn't know the answer either.

  4. #64
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
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    I just know.

    But only in real life. I cannot do that online, no way.

    Here's the rub: I typically always know how a person feels, but I often misinterpret WHY that person feels that way because I internalize everything.

    For example, my first tendency is to blame myself.

    So the cues I look for is not revolving around the feeling but around why, and I'm bad at picking that up.

    It also influences me. I get agitated in a room with negative energy...I know that sounds really weird or stupid or whatever, but yeah...
    If you are interested in language, words, linguistics, or foreign languages, check out my blog and read, post, and/or share.

  5. #65
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Linguist View Post
    I just know.
    I sometimes wonder if I'm one of the few NFs that actually analyzes his own intuition and the whys. I think every N would benefit from exploring how holistic perception works.

  6. #66
    Senior Member nynesneg's Avatar
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    It also influences me. I get agitated in a room with negative energy...I know that sounds really weird or stupid or whatever, but yeah...
    Yes! This happens to me too. I quickly notice if an F is psychologically bruised or depressed. It's like a big black cloud of draining energy! While I feel bad for them, and feel a need to try to help, I have to keep a wall around myself. I tend to take on other people's feelings and too much responsibility/need to help their wellbeing. That's where the wonderful STPs come in! They can objectively bluntly tell the person to stop worrying and to have more confidence.
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    To push beyond their natural abilities and create a reality from their dreams.

  7. #67

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    Do you understand what the person is feeling right away? (like you should in online tests)
    Or it is more likely that you will slowly have to figure it out through a body language/voice or somethinng like that?
    In some ways, yes I do understand - and feel - what someone is feeling right away. In church one day, an elderly man was our guest speaker and he was speaking about something close to his heart and obviously going through something very painful. As he teared up, I teared up. I wanted to go up to the front and hug him because I felt his pain so much. I was crying throughout the whole service.

    A girl I barely know, but am friends with on Facebook, said on her profile that her bf was in a horrific accident and was in a coma. As I read her heartbreaking Facebook statuses and posts, I started tearing up in my Media Management class.

    As far as just talking to someone and being able to tell how they're feeling (when it's not an obviously strong emotion such as pain or anger), I'm okay at that, but getting to know the person helps. But I think I'm pretty in tune with people's nonverbals.
    "When once you have tasted flight, you will forever walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you will always long to return."
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  8. #68

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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Linguist
    Here's the rub: I typically always know how a person feels, but I often misinterpret WHY that person feels that way because I internalize everything.

    For example, my first tendency is to blame myself.

    So the cues I look for is not revolving around the feeling but around why, and I'm bad at picking that up.
    This is me, too! I think I'm pretty good at interpreting feelings... but the whys are where I mess up. Like you, I instantly wonder if it's something -I've- done. *shrug*

    I wonder how one can develop their intuition more? I find it interesting.
    "When once you have tasted flight, you will forever walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you will always long to return."
    - Leonardo da Vinci

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  9. #69
    Senior Member musttry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lost verses View Post
    I pull out a special ring and tap it 3 times to summon the other persons true feelings in written form.

    Heh. No, but honestly it really doesn't seem to be a long process at all. It usually happens fairly quickly. One look at the other's face, can tell you a lot, instantly. Also, if you're on the phone, there's a general idea of what someone SHOULD be saying in a certain situation, and if they aren't saying that...or aren't saying it in a certain way...that's easy to pick up on to. But usually it happens quickly.
    This sums it up for me. It's an instantaneous reading. You just "know" what the person is feeling and what their motivations are. Any other data confirms or doesn't confirm the first reading. To change my opinion, it takes a little longer but I'm flexible.

    I think it's probably close to how INTJs know that they are right about a great many things and theories. In my case, I just know I'm right about people and what is going on inside. Sometimes I am surprised when new information comes in. At that point, I may feel very dumb for not having considered the new possibility.

  10. #70
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    Reading the emotions in others is an empathic quality not exclusive to NF's
    Nor is reading body language..

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